I started a new job earlier in the year and was told my training would take place sometime in November/December somewhere in Europe.

I have now been told it will now take over 2 weeks in East Asia.

The dates I have been given mean that I will be away for my 50th birthday which falls on the middle weekend and I believe my family have organised something although I’m not supposed to know about it. The course schedule shows it finishes at 5pm on the Friday and resumes at 9am on the Monday so traveling back is not an option.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this. The company have no other courses scheduled at the moment so want me to attend this as it may be another six months before another is run.

Think yourself lucky.  l was sent to Milton Keynes for two weeks.

What does your boss say would be the first question?

Not sure what the unreasonable bit is unless you have been told to attend or be fired?

Sounds like a training course thing that happens somewhere and everyone goes on it, if you have lasted this long without it will it be a problem to do it in the new year?

I would be straight up and say pre booked family thing 50th birthday that weekend, everyone arranged to be there (in that sort of order)

Bit hard to say if you are being unreasonable as you haven’t said what you are doing. Personally I’d mention the prior commitment and see if there is any flexibility. If there isn’t then I’d be happy enough to go. Expenses paid trip to Asia should be fun and hopefully the family thing can move a week or two. Birthday on the actual day isn’t that big a deal at that age.

What does your boss say would be the first question?

Mine too, but getting a straight answer has been impossible. My manager is based in another country so I raised the issue by email when the date and location was advised, he just forwarded this to the global training manager – the next communication I got was a formal invitation to the course.

I’ve raised it again and he’s forwarded to the global training manager again.

Yeah time to pick up the phone I think.

What job is it? I wouldn’t mind a jolly to east Asia for free.

I’ve just got 3 days in Shipley next week….

I wouldn’t mind a jolly to east Asia for free.

Me too. However this trip entails 2 12 hour+ flights in cattle class, two weeks in a business hotel on an industrial estate on the outskirts of a smog ridden mega city in a country I would never choose to visit voluntarily, with 9 hour days spent in a training room and work to complete in the evenings. Not sure what your definition of a jolly is but that isn’t mine.

Tricky one. I’d be checking with your wife first if being away that weekend would be a problem or if any celebrations could be postponed a week or two. If it would mean a huge hassle/waste of money (as stuff booked) then it would depend on how much does your job rely on you going on the training? Is it just a corporate brain-washing/indoctrination thing or actually learning skills you’ll need to do your new role effectively? If it’s important for your role then I’d probably suck it up and still go, if not I’d probably push back and see when the next course really would be available saying you had plans you can’t easily change.

I don’t really see what we can offer in advice. You can go, or refuse, depending on how you feel about your birthday etc and how important you think the training is – which you haven’t indicated here. You may find they aren’t bothered about another 6 month delay, in my case when I started my first job the training was a box-ticking exercise, so long as i got the box ticked no-one cared beyond that.

entails 2 12 hour+ flights in cattle class,

That’d be a no from me.

I don’t really see what we can offer in advice.

well i’m self employed so no anecdotal experience but i would say something along the lines of son/daughter/mother/brother etc all coming from (insert foreign country here) for a 50th party that has been booked  in advance, multiple B&B’s /hotels/flights booked by friends and relatives around the country including days off (traveling on a friday). you are available before and after the event but not the friday-sunday of your 50th birthday weekend.

Edit: and thats a no from me on the flights too, you are going to work not sit on sun lounger. its called business class for a reason.

My old place was cheap with airfares, but they had a rule that flights longer than 9 hours got premium economy or similar. Maybe getting that upgrade might be an idea.

That said, I would choose home over work in this case. I don’t really like long flights and doing that for two weeks of training seems like a bad idea

I’d look into the coke and hooker opportunties first then take it from there.

Yeah – no way.  It’s not any day, heck it’s not even any birthday, and if they’re flying you long haul as cheaply as they can rather than ensuring it’s a reasonable experience, then I’d suggest they jog on.