“We rode our bikes for some hours, didn’t travel massive distances and got more muddy than you skinny tyre bike riders” won’t cut it, but I don’t want a boring narrative about rides we did, (as that’s all been covered in the club blog).

So what options do I have. Funny or slightly ridiculous ideas welcome.

Poem

Can’t help you much with content but, assuming you want to keep it fairly brief, you could introduce it is being comparable to a woman’s skirt – long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting…….

ooh, not bad, though I’d probably more manage ‘rhyme’ (or rude limerick) than poetry.

comparable to a woman’s skirt – long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting…….

a quote I could incorporate I’m sure.

AGM? So are you officially exiting and voting back in?

What MTB has achieve during this years reign for the club
Your past ideas / events the results of those
Your Future plans for MTB next year aka your manifesto
Vote for tthew!

It’s an AGM, its supposed to be boring.
Growth/drop in numbers
Coaching availability
Noteworthy race performances
Upcoming night rides
Proposals for next year

Yawn

edit: even the thought of an agm slowed my typing to the point kryton beat me to it

Exactly what I’m trying to avoid fifeandy. A statement of intent to formally exit the democratically impotent confines of the club – like that!

Tell them about the local access problems – missing off-road links that you think would improve cycle access for everyone locally, ask them if any of them have ideas or contacts in local campaigning and ask them to help get the missing links created.

The future of clubs, road and even more so off-road, lies in advocacy and campaigning to improve things locally alongside going riding.

Nobody died*

(*Unless someone did)

Going with tillydog’s suggestion, do a video in the style of Keith Mandemant:

[video]https://youtu.be/ob1rYlCpOnM[/video]

“We rode bikes and had fun. None of you roadie-scum will appreciate that, so we’re going to piss off and do our own thing because we have better things to do than be in a club with you lot”.

I’ve written it for you 🙂

/stand up
“He who has most fun wins.”
“we won”
/sit down

Hold a best scar/injury of the year contest, , best comedy crash etc and hand out bags of haribo and a small cheap n’ tacky trophy to the winners

Hold a best scar/injury of the year contest, best comedy crash etc and hand out bags of haribo and a small cheap n’ tacky trophy to the winners

We have that covered at the club dinner in Feb and the road riders usually have it sewn up by one of them doing something stupid and causing a massive pile up. I’m going to do poetry, will report back later.

I imagine that there was lots and lots of falling off

Write about the falls as they will certainly outnumber the time spent actually riding

Finished! I hope there’s no lurkers here to spoil the surprise, (not that anyone will turn up to appreciate it as

It’s an AGM, its supposed to be boring.

This report is written, to make it clear
Of mountain rides throughout this year.
Two rides a month, one far, one near
Somewhere new or Delamere
To the forest in rain or snow
First Saturday is when we go
Then later on I form a plan
To drive to somewhere in my van

Some verses follow here, kind reader
Explains to you that I, as leader
Organised these jaunts away
A whole weekend, or just the day

The weekend trip was really ace
Llangollen, camping, was the place
Two nights and days of massive climbing
And rocks and streams and some fine dining
But normally it’s just one day
North wales, the Peaks or Lakes we play
We start at 10 and stop for lunch
(we really are a social bunch)

A normal gang of five or ten
Attend our rides, but sometimes when
I get a call or e-mail through
Our numbers swell by one or two

They come and go but in the end
The normal crowd, they attend
Nick Butterworth, Kev and El
Tall Paul and Steve, the list is, well
Long-er than that but there’s no time
To list them all, and make it rhyme.

Now to the future, come what may
Twelve November is the day
For cyclocross, our yearly race
Help on the day would be ace

There are plenty jobs to do
All day or an hour or two
Of your time would be great
We have to mark the course with tape
Put up tents, marshall riders
Someone has to give out prizes
And Tidy up and pack away
On completion of the day.

I’m starting now to lose the plot
My rhymes and scanning gone to pot
And so I fear that I must close
With one further verse of prose

For more descriptions of our slog
Go to the website, find the blog
And if you think this ode is pants
Next year I’m doing interpretive dance!