I know this is a long-shot…

Our daughter came home from primary school the other week all excited at the thought of looking after two children and their chaperone from the African Children’s Choir for a couple of nights. (she’s singing in the Young Voices concert).

We asked the school for a bit more info about what was required and they said it was pretty straightforward and all we really needed to do was provide beds and food. So we provisionally said OK.

Today we have been given a list of do’s and don’ts – no watching TV, various things not to talk about, dietary requirements, issues with pets (we have a lively terrier!) etc.

Now these aren’t much of an issue, we expected some guidelines – but I just wondered if anyone had any actual experience of playing host to the children? I get the impression parents at our school are being drip-fed info, and that other things may be expected of us as the date gets closer (and its too late to pull-out).

Cheers!

Seriously? People cba’d with all that surely!

I can understand dietry requirements if someone has some issues but no TV and gagging orders?

Sorry i’m no help but what are the things you aren’t supposed to talk about?

Sorry i’m no help but what are the things you aren’t supposed to talk about?

Families, relatives, boy/girl relationships, schooling, background history – apparently most of the children have very troubled histories and these types of topic can prove distressing. This is understandable, and we as parents could avoid these subjects – not sure out 10yr old daughter can though.

The no TV thing is so we don’t damage their creativity(!). I initially thought the whole staying with British families was to show British culture – not shield them from it.

Ok! – I’m guessing that there are a million questions you want to ask and the school will in reality not have any more idea than yourselves. 3 years ago my wife and I organised to have a choir and support staff come to our area. There were 40 of them! It took us and a fantastic group of almost 100 volunteers almost 6 months of organising to do it. Now one of the biggest issues with host families was what info do we give them. In then end we made up a Do’s and don’t pack with as much info as we could in it. But the biggest thing we said was ” just enjoy it, it’s a learning curve for everyone”, and having kids of your own prepares you for most eventualities anyway. The things is, Don’t pussyfoot around these kids, they have built up extraordinary resilience and just want the stuff that normal kids do. If I havnt put you off by now and want more info, my mail should be in my profile, if not leave a message on here and I’ll get back to you.

A couple of nights without TV, . . . . count it as a blessing.

You are going to have people with you who maybe you would like to learn something about, maybe interact with, take them somewhere, show them something of interest?

We live in boxes, sit on boxes and look at a box that sits on top of another box…

Having had African friends’ children to stay at our house a few times I can tell you the following:

They will be incredibly shy and the visit will not be the big bonding experience you hope. They will seem to prefer to chat with their pals on BBM or Faceplant than talk to you. They will always be cold and shivering, no matter how high you turn up the heating. They will be polite about your food but would really prefer fried chicken with rice and a spicy tomato sauce. They will sleep a lot in bed and as soon as they get in the car because they’ve been up until 3 am on the laptop. If you walk anywhere they will amble at about 2 mph and nothing you can do or say will make them walk faster. Oh and of course Sunday means church and don’t forget to say grace before every meal. Otherwise they are lovely guests.

Having had African friends’ children to stay at our house a few times I can tell you the following:

They will be incredibly shy and the visit will not be the big bonding experience you hope. They will seem to prefer to chat with their pals on [/quote]BBM or Faceplant than talk to you. They will always be cold and shivering, no matter how high you turn up the heating. They will be polite about your food but would really prefer fried chicken with rice and a spicy tomato sauce. They will sleep a lot in bed and as soon as they get in the car because they’ve been up until 3 am on the laptop. If you walk anywhere they will amble at about 2 mph and nothing you can do or say will make them walk faster. Oh and of course Sunday means church and don’t forget to say grace before every meal. Otherwise they are lovely guests

I love a good honest reply ! 

To the above – yes that can and probably will be the reality. These kids tend to not get emotionally involved the way most kids do. Think of it like this – If every 3 months your parents change (often the way in overseas orphanages with volunteers) it is not in your best interest to invest emotionally in someone, you’d end up a basket case otherwise. It is especially true in older kids. If you want to really get involved, pick a charity, stick with it, go overseas to see what they do, and the kids will then realise you are not a flash in the pan, and from there you can really contribute to their emotional wellbeing – plus, by taking your own kids out there, they get to see the other side of the coin, and it is a life changing experience.

greetings.

i worked with the African Children’s Choir for a few years, and can assure you that you and your family are in for a treat. the dietary restrictions are minimal – honestly, these kids will eat just about anything, and be so thankful for it too. you may find that you won’t even want to watch television when they are in your home, they are so much fun. i think you will have a blast, and your daughter will especially enjoy having a couple of extra siblings for a couple of nights.

so thrilled for you to be able to host!