Advice "sought"-Barred from a club!

I’m sure someone will know better than I, so I thought I’d ask the question.
I understand that in a public house the publican can refuse entry
or service for whatever reason, guess that’s their prerogative.
But what about a private club, its more a working men’s style club thing I suppose.
I paid life membership about 12 years ago, only go in once or twice a month these days, to see my folks. Never had a cross word in there or any trouble.
I’ve had a letter saying after incidents last weekend-as yet undisclosed, I’m not welcome until further notice.
Now something happened, but I’m guessing this has been blown out of all proportion by the other parties and I have been barred. As far as I’m aware neither of the other parties have.
Can they actually do this without asking my version of events, or at least talk to me about what happened from my perspective!
Surely they cant just bar me without some justification?
Do the barring or “disciplinary” procedures work differently as its a private club run by a committee?

I intend to argue this barring, but I thought I’d see if anyone had any ideas on where I actually do stand!

What was the incident?

oooh what happend? 😛

I’d imagine they’d ban you until the next committee meetign and you then get to argue your case before they either ban you forever or not.

Didn’t you get a T&C with your life’s membership?

That document is your friend right now.

they will have rules if you nreak them they can do what they want

I used to run a pub. Its not a court of law. I didn’t ban often, and if you banned anyone, it was to all the local pubs.

I did give the person a chance to behave, or apologize, but if that didn’t work, their number was up. simples.

Never had a cross word in there or any trouble

To

something happened, but I’m guessing this has been blown out of all proportion

Eh? Was it sexy sexy?

i always thought “private club” had a very specific meaning

did you wipe on the wrong towel?

The thing is I’ve not actually been told what has happened!

There was an incident where some 21yr old lad squared up to my 55yr old mother, then referred to her as “a stupid old bitch”.
I wasn’t there that night, but last weekend I did go in.
I think it was pretty clear why I was there, as one the first person to see me said “********* not in tonight mate!”.
I told them I didn’t know what he meant!
The club takes a very dim view of bad language and violence. But at no point did I raise my voice, swear or act aggressively. Just asked a few questions on the Friday.
I never had to be dragged out like the young chap the week before. Or told to calm down.
People I’ve asked weren’t aware of my presence that weekend, but all knew of the previous weekends goings on.
Saturday a mother of one his friends had a go at me, ran over and tried to slap me, I stopped and leaned back, she missed! Saying I need to leave him alone. I laughed and said I hadn’t seen or spoke to him yet, I wasn’t even sure what he looked like.
I walked off.
Tuesday I got the letter.

This is where I’m asking shouldn’t I be asked what happened?
As far as I’m aware the lad and mother are still going in, I’m the only one barred, but without an exact reason.

Just looking for clarity before I go in arguing, very little in the handbook. And I’m certainly not accepting “the committees decision is final!”

Not in this situation!

EDIT: I apologise for teasing some of you and using “Private Members Club” in a context that doesn’t include hairy naked men in saunas! 😆 😯

Is it coz you is black?

a working men’s style club thing

this kind of blue collar silliness would never happen at the Garrick

Sounds like something from Phoenix Nights. Is this how the proletariat masses fill their day?

You sound like a bit of a trouble maker to me…

So banned and you aint even done anything.. Might aswell give him a kicking then. 😆

Sounds like they’ve banned you to prevent you doing this lad a mischief on their property.

Is that what you intend to do? Is it obvious that this is what you intend to do? Are you known as being a bit of a hardcase?

If yes to any of the above then I can see why they’ve done it. They should refund your membership fees though, imo.

Are you sure the letter isn’t addressed to your mum?

Just wait until they re-instate you.

You’ll be able to walk through the door to St Elmo’s Fire playing on the jukebox, it’ll be ace!

Working Men’s club ? Get the union involved then 😉

this kind of blue collar silliness would never happen at the Garrick

Just get the butlers to duke it out, I imagine.

Are there any other clubs you can join – this one sounds a bit pants, if you don’t mind me saying.

It’s like an episode of Shameless

No Crack Dens around? A change is as good as a rest, and all that

I wouldn’t belong to any club that would have you as a member.

AFAIK, it’s still licenced premesis and the staff can refuse entry / service then use “reasonable & necessary” force to get you out.

Tough luck, membership or not.

I’ve worked in pubs / clubs for years as a doorman. If I wanted someone barred, I’d bar them. It wouldn’t matter what a piece of paper said

FASCIST!!!!

Pretty much phoenix nights and Brian Potters barred me!

The intention was to have a word in his shell like, not hurt him.
But like I said it’s not been said exactly what or why? I just think that would be the decent thing to do dear boy!
My actions have been calm and collected, brash or aggressive like others.
But I’m receiving the brunt.
If I’m barred I’ll do it anyway!!

See what happens.

Why has no-one mentioned ‘owning them with Bombers’yet?

It’s a bit out of context but it must be my turn by now to proffer it as badly formed and inappropriate advice?

sounds like you and your family aren’t popular amongst the members or management..

harsh one.. move house..?

Why don’t you write them a letter to the committee outlining the issues you have mentioned above in a calm and reasoned tone. If you do it this way it will be more formal than having a verbal discussion with the steward (which might get out of hand), be more objective and will elicit a formal response from them.

From what you have told us, the lad verbally abused your Mother and then the abusers friends Mother tried to assault you.

Why did the lad square up to your Mother? Have your parents also been barred?

Might be worth letting the club know that in light of recent events you would like them to explain the reasons behind the barring as you are ‘considering’ reporting the incidents to the Police.

But why was “sought” in “quotes” ? 🙂

21 year olds squaring up to 55yo women, and women flying at you? I think i’d bar myself tbh, sounds like a shithole.

btw speak to yer ma, sounds like she’s been winding people up!

you don’t have an identical twin brother do you?

I suspect the others especially the woman who tried to slap you have reported you to teh committee – getting their retaliation in first.

also sounds to me like rather more to the story than we have been told

There was an incident where some 21yr old lad squared up to my 55yr old mother, then referred to her as “a stupid old bitch”.

How about giving him a kicking anyway. You’re banned now, might as well do the crime.

Banjos

What an incredible post.

You don’t realise that drinking alcohol reduces people’s inhibitions and makes nasty aggressive people nastier and more aggressive? You actually have membership of a place where this kind of thing happens every week? How much money do you spend in this place? How much beer or euro-piss do you swallow every day? AND you go drinking with your Mummy?

You must live in North Wales.

Shouldn’t you be out riding your bike?

You must live in North Wales.

Ouch!!! 😆

There was an incident where some 21yr old lad squared up to my 55yr old mother, then referred to her as “a stupid old bitch”.

You’re not telling us the full story.

So if you really do want advice, why don’t you?