Seems like a long ignored and, in may instances, largely derided (especially on here) problem is finally getting the acknowledgement it needs.

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Saw the thread title. Knew who the OP would be. Wasn’t wrong.

largely derided (especially on here)

No it’s not. But that’s how you choose to see the disagreements with some of the stuff you post.

Louise?

Joking/arguing aside, bloody horrible what this boat went through. She was certainly a piece of work. Hopefully he’s got the help and support he needs to get on with life. Although there isn’t that much out there for dudes, it is getting better, just a shame that DV is on the rise.

It seems that amoung the younger generation, females abusing their male partner is more prevalent than vice versa. Maybe this will lead to an increase in support for male victims at long last.

Hopefully, due to the nature of our varied relationship choices support needs to be more varied. Especially when you consider the LGBTQ community.

A bully is a bully irrespective of gender.

Indeed. Nobody is disputing that fact. So if you’re thinking of going off half-cocked, dial it back.

Simple fact that domestic violence should be tackled at all levels wherever it occurs. Don’t think anyone objects to that GT.
Reporting needs to improve and the response to victims does too. This is not an overnight process but can change if people want to make it happen.

especially on here

Examples?

This is very close to home for me at the moment as a friend of mine committed suicide about 4 weeks ago, siting domestic abuse as the reason. It was a big shock to me but several friends who knew him better inc one of his girlfriends ex partners claims this had been going on for some time and he had also been the victim of her abuse. This we could testify to as i remember driving him to A&E with a pretty serious cut on his head several years ago. I never thought that this would be the end result as you imagine most men just walking away or hitting back but he was a fairly gentle guy and now sadly leaves 2 young children behind (not hers).

@rene59 Gillette BBQ time again?

It seems that amoung the younger generation, females abusing their male partner is more prevalent than vice versa.

Trolling or dense?

It seems that amoung the younger generation, females abusing their male partner is more prevalent than vice versa.

Two women are killed each week by a current or former partner in England and Wales

The facts

Pretty sure I’ve posted the stats before. Women at all ages experience more violence than men and more domestic abuse (physical, sexual, emotional and financial). But when you look at partner abuse (a subset of domestic abuse) amongst the youngest category males report more physical abuse than females. My point stands that these male victims have little support (or sympathy it would seem) compared to their female counterparts

And here we go, how about we keep it on the topic of DV against male partners shall we? Or let’s do what we always do and bring out the subject of DV against women as though that somehow makes the violence against men null and void.

It’s an issue that’s increasing in prevalence and there is a total lack of support for male victims, some of those male victims are attacked by other men, some don’t identify as women or men. The black and white approach to DV prevention, intervention and support must change as our relationship choices have changed.

I grew up watching my old man be mentally and verbally abused by my mother, then when he finally got the nerve to walk out, she then weaponised me and my two younger brothers. My childhood was **** miserable and left us with a load of issues that we had to address later in life.

People need to take this shit seriously.

especially on here

Examples?

That will be me.

When GT tries to compare what he went through as similar to, the all too common, male on female domestic violence, I can’t take him seriously.

Basically Louise went a bit Louise on him and he considers it abuse on a level with women who are routinely physically injured by their male partners.

bring out the subject of DV against women as though that somehow makes the violence against men null and void

Good point well made there. Guess that goes for gobuchul’s point too –he considers it abuse on a level – it’s not a case of comparing one thing to another.

Who’s Louise?

Good point well made there. Guess that goes for gobuchul’s point too –he considers it abuse on a level – it’s not a case of comparing one thing to another.

Abuse is abuse, no matter what form it takes and who is the perpetrator or victim. Talking about abuse faced by others in no way diminishes the fact that the overwhelming amount of abuse is perpetrated against women. again, it’s an attitude thing, and when you don’t take one seriously it gives way to MRA’s instead of healthy conversation and action.

Like I said, having lived with it like so many other kids, now adults in this country, I don’t really care the gender, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, or for anyone to witness it. It left me with so many issues and one was a deep resentment and distrust of women and a self-confidence issue as a guy. **** messed me up royally and took a long time to get to a point where I can openly trust and am quite comfortable with who I am. My old man is a broken, he just plods on day by day and no matter what I and my brothers try to do or encourage him to seek help, he’s just stuck in this space plodding on until he checks out. It’s **** horrible to be around.

I just wish there was more support for all victims and not just those that fit the majority demographic.

there is a total lack of support for male victims,

That’s simply not true.

Well according to ManKind there’s a lack of support. But hey, how would they know eh?

Saw the thread title. Knew who the OP would be. Wasn’t wrong.

🙂

I was thinking the same.

Anyway Jordan Peterson has moved on to Nazi sympathising now, the OP has a bit of catching up to do…

Support for male victims of DV and sexual abuse, found in a few minutes via Google…

http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/

Male Victims of Domestic Abuse – For Confidential Help, Please Call 01823 334244

Male Victims of Domestic Abuse

http://www.reducingtherisk.org.uk/cms/content/male-victims-domestic-abuse

Support for men

Homepage

And Victim Support doesn’t exclude men at all.

Is that a “total lack of support”? Really?

GT rang the bell and the usual dogs have come slavering.

GT rang the bell and the usual dogs have come slavering.

Welcome

theres an interesting related paragraph on the availability of domestic abuse support services in the ONS DV stats page

In just over one-fifth of valid cases flagged as domestic abuse-related, the victim was male (21%, Appendix Table 55). This contrasts to the sex breakdown of victims accessing specialist domestic abuse services such as IDVAs and MARACs, where a much smaller proportion of victims were male (4% and 5% respectively).

This could indicate that male victims are less likely to seek out, be aware of or engage with specialist domestic abuse services, or are not signposted to specialist domestic abuse services. Male victims are also deemed less likely to be eligible for these types of support in terms of their risk level, and are therefore dealt with through multi-crime services. The majority of valid multi-crime service cases flagged as domestic abuse-related were referred by the police (95%, Appendix Table 56).

I’m aware of the helplines, tried to get my old man to call them and access some support, no luck yet. There’s still a lack of refuges available, 20 beds I think in 2017 which is a shame, but I’m sure that will increase given time. Still, helplines are better than **** all.

All it needs now is for the police, courts and social care to take it seriously and maybe we can prevent the shit that myself and others have gone through. You’d think they would when kids are involved, but amazingly they don’t. Still the old ‘man-up’ mentality at play I guess. Life goes on and people are still being demons to their loved ones, I feel for every poor bastard that has to suffer this and worse. But it’s not going away though, we’re getting more woke as a society but the violence is increasing, is it reporting or more people abusing their partners?

we’re getting more woke as a society but the violence is increasing

All this ‘woke’ bullshit is doing is reinforcing gender stereotypes. If anything, it’s making this issue worse.

20 beds I think in 2017

Is appalling

A very close friend of mine is in a marriage where he is exposed to emotional, psychological and physical abuse.

He stays in the marriage for the sake of his children as he cannot see how he could get custody if they separated.

I have seen the emotional and psychological abuse and the results of the physical – but after many years of the abuse he is not able, even with help, to see a way out.

@technicallyinept I know. It was a dig that were getting more enlightened but bad shit is increasing. Why is that?

It was a dig that were getting more enlightened but bad shit is increasing. Why is that?

According to the latest statistics from the ONS

The police recorded 599,549 domestic abuse-related crimes in the year ending March 2018. This was an increase of 23% from the previous year. This in part reflects police forces improving their identification and recording of domestic abuse incidents as crimes and an increased willingness by victims to come forward.

and also

The percentage of convictions secured for domestic abuse-related prosecutions is at its highest level since the year ending March 2010. In the year ending March 2018, 76% of prosecutions resulted in a conviction.

It seems that not only are reporting and recording of these crimes getting better but the percentage of successful convictions is increasing also. Perhaps as more people see this, the more that are willing to come forward as they don’t think it’s as much of a waste of time as it used to be.

I supppose we will never know if there has been an actual increase or even decrease in actual bad shit, only best guesses.

I guess reporting and conviction increases are good if you look at it through an optimistic lens.

Just wish I could my old man to talk to somebody, I miss the man I remember.

We have an NHS support group for male DV victims, “unfortunately” it is also advertised for gay, lesbian and transgender victims.

Personally I don’t have a problem but if I were of the mindset that I was weak or a poof for being the victim then such a helpline may just discourage me from seeking the help I need. I’m in no way suggesting the support is a bad thing but the strategy isn’t the best especially for the West Coast where such mindsets are just the tip of an iceberg of ignorance.

Surprise, gender still has a massive difference for one reason or another. You can’t just scream equality to make it happen when the data suggests otherwise. Similarly using MRA arguments does you no favours either.

amongst the youngest category males report more physical abuse than females

… which rather begs the question, are younger males experiencing more abuse than younger females, or are they simply more likely to be brave enough to report it?

Which kinda feeds into…

Just wish I could my old man to talk to somebody

I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a generational thing going on here. Men of my parents’ generation will likely have been raised to believe that being emotional is a sign of weakness, that they’re not a ‘real man’ if they were to admit to being bullied by a woman.

It’s happening slowly but this does appear to be changing with the younger generations, we’re gradually moving away from a “big boys don’t cry” attitude.

largely derided (especially on here)

The problem isn’t derided on here, it’s your attitude which is derided. Ably demonstrated by the fact that you felt the need to get a little dig in in your opening post.

… which rather begs the question, are younger males experiencing more abuse than younger females, or are they simply more likely to be brave enough to report it?

Interestingly, males are a lot less likely than females to report abuse face to face than they are when reported through electronic means where this can be done alone. Also when compiling the stats, data is taken from 3 main sources, these are from reports recorded by the police, incidents not reported to police but recorded by support services, and best guess for incidents not recorded at all. As support services for male victims are not as widespread then a lot of cases will fall into the not reported at all category which leads to a lot more guessing due to under reporting.

Probably a link between male suicide and DV . Too afraid or ashamed to admit to being a punching bag. So the only way out of the situation ( they can see ) is to prematurely end their life as an exit strategy. Without a posted letter the abuser cannot intercept then there is little or no evidence.
Very difficult for friends and family to accept or understand I would imagine

This contradicts some of the claims about women being more violent in young couples. Taking teenage relationships:

The study follows on from a survey in 2009 – also by Bristol University on behalf of the NSPCC – of 1,400 girls aged 13-17, who were not considered to be from vulnerable backgrounds.

It found a third suffered sexual abuse in a relationship and a quarter experienced violence at the hands of their boyfriends.

But

“In the male children we did not find those levels, but still over 25% of boys suffered some form of physical violence.”

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2011/sep/15/teenage-relationship-abuse-prevalent-nspcc

And some more objective and detailed reporting from the Guardian.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/dec/14/domestic-abuse-statistics-ons-worse-education

I’ve really looked for UK stats on the number of men killed by women in domestic violence, it is tiny and I hope one of you can produce a number. In the US where murder is more popular there are stats that say the numbers are tiny compared the number of women killed by their partners. Anyhow:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/dec/18/women-uk-femicide-statistics-died-male-violence