Whilst pulling wheelies windsurfing last Sunday I landed heavily on the boom and used my balls as an airbag.

I’m still in some pain, that low down “oof” type of pain that makes you feel both uneasy and sick.

How long must one actually bloody wait for this ball ache to cease and I can walk like a Homoerectus that I pretend to be?

#oof

#willsomeonerubthembetter

[ in before Drac ]

Do you want me to num them for you?

If they fall off i’d recommend this to reattach them…

I landed heavily on the boom

Euphemism?

Expect some merciless jibing. 🙂

How long must one actually bloody wait for this ball ache to cease

Be careful – that can develop into Cat-Aids.

If it goes on for more than a few days your should waddle down to the Doc and get them out for the receptionist. She will be able to diagnose immediately.

She will be able to diagnose immediately

Mastitis?

Mastitis?

Pull the (r)udder one!

I had a shot in the pills a few years ago (chod walking, chod, chod, chod, chod walking) which ended up with them being a bit bruised and me losing my lunch the next day due the associated nausea.

I read about orchialgia (ballache) and the possibility of testicular torsion and losing a nut, called a mate who’s a GP for advice.  She told me to get to A&E, called in herself to say she’d seen me and could I put to the font of the queue.  I turned up, gave my name,went to sit down, and didn’t even get the weight off my feet before my name was called.  Got plenty of scowls walking past the other the patients, got felt up by a nice Indian gentleman and was told it was bruising, given painkillers and went home.

put to the font of the queue

In the context of getting your genitals felt by someone in a position of authority, is that a spelling mistake or a freudian slip?

Seriously, a mate got one in the spuds playing cricket one day.  When the pain didn’t subside* several days later he went to the docs who sent him for a check up who diagnosed testicular cancer. The luckiest whack in the nuts ever.

* I mean his testicular pain. The pain in our sides from laughing at his agony as he rolled about on the floor only lasted several hours

Still in “some” pain 4 days after the event, i’d be waddling along to A&E just for re-assurance really.

sounds painful, but y’know: balls, so laughing and pointing obvs

Yeah, s’pose I ought to go to the Docs…

How do you pull wheelies on a surfboard? They don’t have any wheels, do they???? 😲

Expect some merciless jibing

I see what you did there.

What colour are they?

Yeah, s’pose I ought to go to the Docs…

Yeah, s’pose I ought to go to the Docs…

Once per ball, definitely.

Yeah, s’pose I ought to go to the Docs…

Yeah, s’pose I ought to go to the Docs…

That’s quite a pair you’ve got there – doubled up in agony ?

“…..I’m sorry, Mr Hitler….I’m afraid we only have one appointment available”

“Zat vil be adequate, Danke”

After much scrutiny and fiddling, and flicking, both look normal in both feel and texture. No colour change, no flatness, no external bruising, plenty of caressing though 👌

It feels “internal” more than anything. You know that ooff pain when it starts to recede.. well on a scale of 1-10 it’s an annoying 4. Not agony, not occasional either.. but that underlying numbing sort of feeling.

I best see a Doc.

Wheelies on windsurfing are easy, the manoeuvre is called a Vulcan and it’s best viewed via YouTube.

The boom is the bit yer hands hold onto and yer harness hooks onto via loops..(harness lines)

I was close to the beach, we come in flat chat and pull off some most awesome manoeuvres to impress the Ladies… Its a macho thing, a need I have deep down to make sure everyone knows just how virile and sporting I am 😜💪🤠

 virile

For now.

Testicular torsion is an emergency condition. It happens when the spermatic cord, which provides blood flow to the testicle, rotates and becomes twisted. The twisting cuts off the testicle’s blood supply and causes sudden pain and swelling.

If you think you might go, just go now.  If it’s an emergency, it’s an emergency, if it isn’t, it’ll probably get better on its own.

And, contrary to the quote above, it isn’t always painful.

the manoeuvre is called a Vulcan

Wow, had a look, is impressed! Looks fun!

the manoeuvre is called a Vulcan

Except in this instance, when it was more of a Vulcan’t

More like a VulCrash 🤪

you should have tried harder to Klingon

Still in pain, 6 years after my snip, so think yourself lucky.   Never been so battered down there.

I got kicked in the wedding vegetables, a proper Jonny Wilkinson conversion kick, when I was 19. The twins swelled to the size of humongous, and the colour,  of Victoria plums.

I had to have my GP check them over a week later when I was still pissing blood. They shrivelled to the size of withered grapes by three weeks. They remained utterly useless for 6 months.

Good luck.

6 YEARS?!

Pain killer.

@martinhutch, I see what you did there 😎

Wheelies on windsurfing are easy

So how come you ballsed it up?

Over egged it, simple.

Doc appt at 10….

evidence has emerge as to the true cause of the injury

I’m fine, groin strain he called it.

However he’s booked me in for some physiotherapy because I groaned like an old man as I got off the inspection bed 🤪🥊🤣🤣

”How long has you back been hurting like that”…? 🤷‍♂️🤔👀

Are you sure it’s your back that’s going to get the physio?