A Very Modern Love Story (not a scam or anything).

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  • A Very Modern Love Story (not a scam or anything).
  • stox
    Member

    Come again?

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    Just a nice wee story about a man and his new African love. My friend kindle set it up for me with this reply
    Hello Favour

    Lovely to hear from you. Could you please email me? I don’t use facebook very often.

    You can reach me here: jonnyrobertson@XXXXXXXXX.co.uk

    I look forward to getting to know you.

    xxx

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    Why did you obfuscate the domain?!

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    And here she is. If only I could post photos on here cos I tell you, she’s a cracker.
    Hello Dear,
    I am very happy to receive your reply today,Thanks for your acceptance to my proposal,How was your day?,Mine is a little bit hot over here in Dakar Senegal.Like I told you before my name is favour Karume,24yrs old,single and never married before.I believe that it is important we get to know each other better for trust and confidence which is necessary in any good and lasting relationship built on truth and real love.
    I love reading and spots and like to visit parks and garden to be close to nature. I love children too and will like to have many children when i get married.I am from Ivory Coast in West Africa and i am presently staying in a refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a result of the civil war that was fought in my country.
    My late father Dr Federick Karume was the managing director of Fredcocoa and Associates (Ltd) and he was the personal advicer to the former head of state (Late Dr Robert Guei) before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed my mother and my father in cold blood.It was only me that is alive now and I managed to make my way to a near by country Senegal where i am leaving now.
    I have a special reason why I decided to contact you.
    Please listen to this,Because of my urgency need of your help i have to give you more information about me with the hope that you will truly help me as i expect,i have my late father’s statement of account and death certificate here with me which i will send to you latter,because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in one of the leading banks in Europe which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $7.3( Seven Million three Hundred Thousand US Dollars) and the bank gave me a condition to get a foreign partner who will stand for me due to my living status, So i will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send me some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.I will give you all the necessary information about the money and will introduce you directly to the bank transfer manager for discussions because the manager is waiting for me now to present my partner so that they release this money to me.As a refugee here i don’t have any right or privilege to work or engage in any business or financial matters,be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country and I will like to come over to your country and start a new life and go back to school because i only attended my first year before the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place.
    I kept this secret from people in the camp here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father to me.So in the light of above i will like you to keep it to yourself and don’t tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it.
    Remember i am giving you all this information due to the trust i deposed on you, i like honest and understanding people and a man of vision, truth and hardworking,
    In this Refugee camp its like one staying in the prison because you do not have freedom of your own,I hope by Gods joy i will come out of here soon if everything works out well between me and you together.I don’t have any relatives now whom i can go to because they all ran away in the middle of the war in my country,The only person i have now is ( Rev.Samuel mark ) who is the pastor of (CHRIST THE LIGHT CHURCHES) here in the camp,he has been very nice to me since i came here,you can reach me through the reverend’s telephone number.
    His telephone number is (+221763945572)
    If you call just tell him that you want to speak with me (the girl that came from Ivory coast),he will send for me in the hostel to come and answer your call,
    Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said i have a lot to tell you,have a nice day and think about me,awaiting to hear from you soonest,I attach my picture bellow i will send you another one in my next mail and i will like to see your own.
    Yours in love, Favour

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    Oh no, Jambourgie, it’s not like that at all.. 🙂

    Good afternoon my sweet,

    My day has been pretty good, thank you. I like how you mentioned the weather pretty quickly. You clearly know that we British like to talk about the weather! As for the weather here, yes we have had some. We have weather most days to be honest which is good because if we didn’t we’d have nothing to talk about. It’s a staple of conversation over here. It’s not all about the weather though, oh no. For instance, hairdressers are expertly trained at asking you questions on your holidays, and taxi drivers are equally well trained at bombarding you with ill judged and poorly reasoned opinions on such diverse subjects such as immigrants, asylum seekers and Muslims, bless their bigoted little souls. The taxi drivers that is, not the Muslims.

    Anyway, I’m blethering on. I’ll cut to the chase and say how awful your situation must be. Those rebels sound like pr1cks. It must be really bad in the refugee camp and of course I want to save you. This is not about money, Favour, this is about common human decency and I would never want to cause another human being pain or anguish so if I can save you, I will. Like a Scottish Superman, all tartan pants and cape. I will say also you are a real beauty of a woman too. I like the picture of you in your swimming gear, I really like what you’ve done with your hair. I bet that gets really heavy when it’s wet though, am I right? That must slow you down almost to the point of sinkage. You look like a strong healthy lassie though, I’m sure some wet hair wont hold you back!

    You say that as a refugee you have no right to work or engage in financial matters, well when you get over here that won’t be a problem, it’s not against the law here. However, you allude to us maybe starting a relationship and whilst I am well up for that you also say you want to go back to school? Can I ask, how old are you? I need to know because going out with schoolkids is definitely illegal over in Scotland, none of this getting married at twelve here. If you are too young then clearly we cannot begin a relationship but I will still help you escape the refugee camp and if you still want to come over I can be your guardian or something til you’re old enough for me to not get arrested.

    I shall try and send a picture very soon only my phone (it also has a camera, amazing!) is in the shop getting fixed after I accidentally dropped it into some batter mix (serves me right for trying to make dinner whilst scunnered, should’ve just got a carry out).

    Reply to me soon Favour!

    Jonny X

    piemonster
    Member

    Well, this has my attention.

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    If i go through with this I am gonna be seriously rich. Money for old rope, surely?

    My Dearest.
    How are you today, hope you are fine, dear i want to thank you for all your effort and love towards me, you have given me hope and i will also like to see you face to face,i like you very much and i want you to know that before i contacted you i saw your profile that you matched mine and you are the type of man i am looking forward to spend the rest of my life with.I am not going to give your love to any other man you will satisfy me,so needless of looking for another man.

    Please i have not told anyone except you and the Reverend about the existence of this money and i will like you to please keep it secret to other people because since it is (MONEY) all eyes will be on it.

    Remember i trust you honey that is why i am giving you all this information!. My love is for you and you alone,i will like to hear your voice please,just call the Rev and tell him that you want to speak with me and he will send for me immediately.You can call the Reverend and ask him the best time to call me.His office phone no (+221763945572)

    Like i told you before i have informed the bank about my plans to claim this money and the only thing they told me is to look for a foreign partner who will stand on my behalf due to my refugee status and the laws of this country.so i have informed them about you and i will also like you to write to them with your email address so that they will reply you and tell you the procedure, You will have 15% of the total money for helping me and the remaining money will be managed by you in any business of your choice while i go back to my studies.

    In this regards i will like you to contact the bank immediately with this information below,tell them that you are my foreign partner and that you want to know the possibilities of assisting me transfer my 7.3 million dollars deposited by my late father which i am the next of kin to your account in your country.
    The contact information of the bank are as follows,

    Bank name…………….Royal Bank of Scotland plc
    EMAIL………………(rsbfund.transferunit@scotlandmail.com)
    Email………………. (steve.robson@consultant.com)
    The name of the transfer manager… (Sir Steve Robson).
    Phone number……. (+44 7031889559 (+44 7005921288)
    The account number is….RB343I05601364/QB/71/SB.
    The name of Depositor….Mr Fedrick Karume
    Next of kin…………..Miss Favour Karume
    Amount deposited………$ 7.3 million usa dollars

    Contact them now on how to transfer the 7.3 million dollars deposited by my late of which i am the next of kin.I have mapped out 15% for your assistance.My dear i am glad that God has brought you to see me out from this situation and i promise to be kind and will equally need you in every area of my life including investing this money since i am still too young to manage it.
    As i told you before,this camp is just like a prison and my prayers is to move out from here as soon as possible.Please make sure that you contact the bank so that after the transfer you can send some money from that money for me to prepare my traveling documents to meet with you in your country.
    Awaiting to hear from you soonest!.
    Yours forever in love,
    Miss Favour

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    How strict is the swear filter on here, by the way?

    Hello my African Princess.

    I am very good today, thank you. Even better for knowing that I am giving you hope. I do like to give people hope. Raise their expectations and get them thinking good things are going to happen. In fact, I like it so much you could almost say it has become a wee hobby of mine.

    Now, do you remember what I said in yesterday’s email about my phone? It is broken at the moment and away at the shop being fixed so the only way I can correspond at the moment is online. This means I cannot call the reverend at the camp. To be fair though, you’ve been moaning about the camp saying it’s like a prison but you’ve got the reverend taking phone calls for you as well as internet access. If you ask me the reverend sounds like a wonderful man and it seems like he is doing his very best for you. May I suggest a sizeable donation towards the running of the camp for him? I’d like to meet him one day. Do you have a photo of him?

    Now, this Steve Robson at the bank, it’s not the same Steve Robson I went to school with, was it? I wonder if it was? When did he get the knighthood? Jings, he’s done well for himself cos when I was at school with him he was a bell-end. He once pi55ed himself during assembly and I never let him live it down. It would be great to see his face when I go into the bank to put all that money into my account, he’ll probably pi55 himself all over again when he sees how much money is being transferred.

    Don’t you worry my darling, besides, you, me, the reverend and Steve “pi55y pants” Robson no one will know about this, I promise not to tell a soul. I swear on your life I won’t. I look forward to hearing from you and the bank very soon.

    Mr Jonny. X

    jambourgie
    Member

    Looks legit to me. Go for it!

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    Wow, that girl really knows how to hit the keys on her iPhone! I want one like that

    Premier Icon dannybgoode
    Subscriber

    Ooo I do like a bit of 419baiting.

    Good show…

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    How strict is the swear filter on here, by the way?

    It’ll block anything that’s on the list if so the answer is don’t alter anything to try to avoid the swear filter.

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    Reading Dez’s thread re internet dating got me thinking I should share with you my latest experience of internet love. To be fair, the young lady in question actually messaged a female friend of mine on Facebook and she kindly batted her over to me as, well, she’s married and I had nothing better to do.

    Anyway, without further ado, let me introduce you to Favour…
    Hello, My name is favour Am single young girl with loving, caring, honesty and Openness. Looking for an honesty person for a serious relationship. Please contact me directly to my mailbox at favourkarume@XXXXXXX.­­com so that i can send you my photos and details. and tell you more about my self have a nice day to meet you. Thanks, favour

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    You mean like I did earlier, Drac? 😳 Aside from the obvious ones (the big nasty swearies,of which there are a couple that I’ll edit out) I wouldn’t know whether the likes of the “p” word would set the filter off…

    Anyway, here’s Favour again emailing me to make sure I follow the script…
    Good day my love,
    How are you today and how was your weekend ? I hope fine.
    Honey please you have to contact the bank as i told you so that they will make the transfer to your account. I wait to hear from you soon.
    Yours favour

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    …last one for tonight

    Hello my darling,

    My day was fine thank you, I’m just getting ready to pop out to the bank now my dear. There is a branch of Royal bank Of Scotland in town so I can just pop in and sort it all out there and then. Also I want to see if they’ve got my phone sorted so I can speak to you and send you a “selfie”.

    I’d best be off, my bus is in about five minutes. I’ll let you know how it goes.

    J-dog xx

    dazzlingboy
    Member

    J-dog lol – at what point is she going to realise she’s being strung along!?? 😆

    You are stringing her along right? 😉

    Premier Icon righog
    Subscriber

    Ohhh Ask for some pictures !

    hels
    Member

    She seems a bit dumb, can’t even figure out how to sit on a chair properly.

    dazzlingboy
    Member

    I wouldn’t argue with Bheki Spencer mind you. Hope she doesn’t send him to track you down 😯

    allthepies
    Member

    Polycarp Jude FTW

    nwgiles
    Member

    Can I have 2nds if you pass on her?

    mikedoubleu
    Member

    You should definitely get some lions in with this deal, as well as your 15%. It is Africa.

    Your sweetheart can surely wangle a few lions from Senegal to bring over with her when she comes. Talking ones, mind.

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    Absolutely, mikedoubleu! 🙂 Great books aren’t they? I’d been trying to mess with scammers before I read the books but with less success than I’m getting at the minute but being off work with a borked foot and the Bob Servant books has inspired me to up my game (I’m pretending to be Scottish as well as I think it reads well if you read it in a Scottish accent).

    Anyway, here’s today’s instalment and she seems most keen that I do NOT go in person to the bank. In fact she’s gone and gotten herself into such a tizzy she’s forgotten what she’s supposed to be calling herself…

    . Hello my dear,
    How are you doing today? Hope you are fine.
    Dear, please i want you to contact the bank through the bank email address i gave to you because their is no need of you going to the bank since i have introduce you to the bank. The only thing the bank need from you is for you to write a conformation mail to the bank and tell them that you are my foreign partner and you want to know the possibility of transferring my late father fund into your bank account over there in your country and any reply you get from the bank please don’t fail to let me know. Hope to read from you soon.

    Yours beloved one,
    Sylvia.

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    Clearly I had to aske her what she was playing at with the whole name thing… Good morning my dear,

    I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is I didn’t manage to make it to the bank as I bumped into my pal Billy Bookcase on the way and we ended up having a bit of a session in the pub, hence why I’ve been so slow to respond. I couldn’t bear to look at a bright computer screen yesterday, my head was absolutely banging. So I’ll just have to email Sir Steve and tell him what’s what. The bad news is I didn’t make it in to the phone shop either so no picture for you yet. Hang in there.

    Jonny.

    P.S, who’s Sylvia? I thought your name was Favour? I’m confused.

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    But anyway, regardless of what she’s calling herself at the minute I thought I’d set the ball rolling with the bank…

    Hello Steve, or should I say Sir Steve,

    My name is Jonny Robertson and I am here in my capacity as Favour Kareme’s guardian and dare I say, lover, to take care of the money that was left by her late father. Favour has told me that you have set most of the stuff up already and now you are just waiting to set me up. Anyway, here I am so please do not hesitate to contact me with your instructions.

    Forgive my presumptuousness but may I ask, do I know you? I went to school with a Steve Robson and I’m sure he went into banking. It couldn’t be you, could it? Sorry, I digress.

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    Jonny Robertson.

    P.S. Congratulations on the Knighthood, by the way. May I also ask why you received it? Gallantry? Chivalry? Either way, my warmest congratulations.

    Junkyard
    Member

    Favour has told me that you have set most of the stuff up already and now you are just waiting to set me up

    Well played – surely they must realise!

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    Well played

    Enjoying this; entertaining writing skills – keep going! 😀

    1981miked
    Member

    Proper lol fest mate! Billy Bookcase is a quality name.

    Keep it going.

    Premier Icon akira
    Subscriber

    I went to school with a Billy Bookcase, wonder if it’s the same one?
    You should introduce your ‘religion’, always a good excuse for some bizarre requests.

    aa
    Member

    good work sir,

    i look forward to the next installment.

    andypandy85
    Member

    This is phenominally good!! Keep it up!

    it’s been quiet, I hope things haven’t gone pear shaped already?

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    Just caught up with this…

    Her friends seem nice.

    They won’t know I’ve looked at her page will they? I’m frighted.

    ScottChegg
    Member

    Billy Bookcase indeed.

    If there’s a Senegal branch of Ikea she’s going to know you’re not person she thinks you are.

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    Glad you’re enjoying it folks. Sorry aleaonard, I’ve been busy but fear not, here’s the latest dose of drivel. If only I could post the pics direct as this email I received from the bank actually contained a photo of a random branch of The Royal Bank Of Scotland that was most definitely not just pulled from Google images…

    WELCOME TO ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND PLC LONDON.
    BANKING AND FINANCE.
    HEAD OFFICE /: No. 36 ST ANDREWS SQUARE
    EDINBURGH EH2 2YB SCOTLAND.
    FREE POST O BOX 1527
    Tel : +44 7031889559
    Fax : +44 7005921288

    For Your Kind Attention,

    Sir ,
    Actually we have earlier been told about you by the young lady who is (the next of kin) that she wishes you to be her trustee /representative for the claim of her late father’s deposit with our bank . Her late father Dr. Federick Karume is one of our late customers with sum substantial amount of money he deposit with us.
    Hence you have been really appointed as a trustee to represent the next of Kin. However before our bank will transact any business concerning the transfer of the fund to your bank, we will like you to send the followings immediately to our bank.

    1.A power of attorney permitting you to claim and transfer the funds to your bank account on her behalf.

    Note: a Senegalese resident lawyer must endorse this Power of attorney since the money is originated from Africa.

    2.The death certificate of Her deceased father confirming his death.

    3.A copy of statement of account issued to her deceased father by our bank.

    4.An Affidavit of support from Senegalese high court in Africa.

    Note:The above are compulsory, and are needed to protect our interest, yours and the next of kin after the transfer has been made.

    For the above documents and information is part of the our security protocols to avoid fraudulent claims or an unwarranted taking advantage of his absencecy. On receipts of the above documents/information, we shall verify them and once we are satisfied, we shall process your claim and effect the transfer.

    Yours Faithfully,
    Sir.Steve Robson.
    Head of the transfer department.

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    Favour also emailed me on the same day with instructions to contact a lawyer but to keep things a bit less confusing I’ll deal with my reply to Sir Steve first…
    Hello Steve,

    Favour has forwarded me this message and I just like to say that I am receiving you loud and clear. Favour’s put me in touch with a lawyer and he sounds top notch so hopefully soon the ball will be rolling (given the vast sums of money involved I for some reason think of that big ball in Indiana Jones that chases him down the tunnel. I reckon a ball made out of $7.3 million worth of $10 bills would be just as big and scary if it started rolling at you so you can see where I got the image from. Funnily enough, I don’t normally do film analogies but when she first emailed me and started banging on about rebels and all that I thought of Star Wars. The analogy didn’t really work though as I guess that would have made her dad Darth Vader and apart from them both being black I’d say that’s where the similarities ended).

    Yours sincerely

    Jonny Robertson.

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    …and this was Favour’s email to me with the details of the legal eagle I was to contact…
    My Darling, How are you today.

    I believe you are well. God will bless and reward you for every effort you are making to see me out from this horrible situation i found myself today. As for me i am fine here with all hopes that you will assist me to transfer my money to your position for a better life with you.
    I appreciated the way you are handling this transfer of my money to your position pending my arrival to meet with you to start a new life. I am suffering here in the prison called refugee camp and i believe with you we can start a new life in your country after the transfer of my money to your account.
    I can see what the bank is demanding before they will transfer my money to your position .Presently i have my Late Father Death Certificate and Deposit Certificate with me here which i have given to the lawyer to send to bank when you contact him.

    The only problem we have now is the Power of Attorney which the bank said that it will be issued by a lawyer here in Senegal for me to sign my signature on it. After reading your mail, i discussed it with Rev Father Samuel Mark and he gave me the contact of this lawyer Barrister Alex duke. He is one of the lawyers working with the united nations here in Dakar Senegal. I will want you to contact him on both phone and email telling him that you are my foreign partner that you need his services to prepare a power of attorney that will enable you transfer my 7.3 million dollars from Royal Bank of Scotland to your account on my behalf due to my refugee status.

    His contact information are as follows,
    Bar (Dr) Alex Duke Esq.
    ( @yahoo.fr">barristeralexduke@yahoo.fr )

    Office telephone number Tel: ( +221-770501961 OR +221765205981 )

    PUT YOUR FULL CONTACT DETAILS BELOW :

    (1) YOUR NAME ……………………..
    (2) YOUR ADDRESS…………………
    (3) YOUR PHONE NUMBER ………
    (4) FAX NUMBER,……………………..
    (5) YOUR COUNTRY………………….
    (6) YOUR DATE OF BERTH…………
    (7) OCCUPATION………………………

    God bless you as you contact him immediately.
    A big hug and kisses for you.
    From my deepest heart of love,
    Yours forever,
    Miss Favour

    Premier Icon jonnyrobertson
    Subscriber

    And just a quick email to Favour to let her know I’m still about as OBVIOUSLY Favour, Sir Steve Robson and this soon to enter the frame lawyer are three completely different and seperate people…

    Good Morning my love.

    I’m glad to see your identity crisis has been resolved. I’m sure being holed up in a refugee camp with full internet access is such a chore it will send you a wee bit doo-lally and get you questioning your sanity, your very existence and what you are called. I emailed Sir Steve and he sent me a reply so I will soon be set up like a good ‘un, as we say over here.

    Please, I’d like to know more about you, tell me what you do to stay sane in the refugee camp. Is it as bad as you say? Do you have photos? Surely the Rev Father makes life as easy as he possibly can for you. He does do an amazing job, looking after people. What a lovely man he must be. I’d like to meet him and shake his hand. We need more people like him in this world, Favour, as it’s people like him that give hope and inspiration to others. Do you have a picture of him as well? Sorry if I’m being too nosey, I’m just interested in you and your life.

    Reply to me soonest my love,

    Jonny Jon Jon xx

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