You’re obviously GAY!

BigDummy – Member

I am both a lawyer and a very twisted man. However, I am also a walking psycho-sexual catastrophe of Woody Allen-like proportions.

Night riding takes on a whole new perspective with you BD 😆 PMSL!

Whereas Im just a twisted-man and hopefully a layer 8)

Also
[Tannoy} Houns to the Forum, I repeat Houns to the Forum[/Tannoy]
😀

Biscuit and some Redbush Tea please

finger up ya bum?

finger up ya bum?

Not recommended for people with piles.

ah, Alpin, ever the practical man. Good idea.

Men can’t really win, can we?
It’s either “Oh, already?”

or

“Aren’t you finished yet?”

with nothing in between. Women, eh?

Where is the problem?

Three! Is the magic number……

Wife and girlfriend again, Shane? 😉

Have you tried going out on your bike instead?

zokes – Member

Wife and girlfriend again, Shane?

Nah! – I reckon dogging is the future…. 😀

Have you tried going out on your bike instead?

Or he could just ride it in doors?

Have you tried going out on your bike instead?

That can go even more wrong…

He can remember the last 3 times? Lucky bastard

Have you tried going out on your bike instead?
That can go even more wrong…

I can see another thread starting… “Which bike to have sex with?”

I think I’m going to be sick…….

NOT GAY.

NO ANTI-DEPRESSENTS.

FINGER IN BUM ONCE.

NO BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN – SEE 1ST POINT.

BUCKEROO NOT AN OPTION. OLD JOKE, TOO.

MARATHON = HOUR PLUS. WHEN IT GETS REAL HOT AND SWEATY AND YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE SHEETS AFTERWARDS BECAUSE THEY’RE WET AND STICK TO YOUR BACK.
—————————————

SHE DID CATCH ME LOOKING AT NICE NAKED LADIES THE OTHER DAY. DON’T KNOW IF THAT ROCKED MY HEAD A BIT. NOT REALLY INTO TWISTED PORN ALA BIGDUMMY. JUST ASTHETIC LOOKING LADIES.

THING IS SHE WANTS ME TO FINISH TOO BUT, AS TIME GOES ON THINGS GET ‘SORE’.

I FIND IT A LOT EASIER TO FINISH WHEN I’M INSIDE HER HEAD. MIGHT BE A MENTAL THING. TROUBLE IS, SHE ISN’T (UNDERSTANDABLY) ALWAYS UP FOR IT.

genius

INSIDE HER HEAD

Physically or meta-physically?

Get rid of the f&5!;ing CAPS LOCK

Get the doc to put a couple of stitches in her.

SEE A DOCTOR NOT A WEB FORUM – AMUSING AS IT IS – SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP (IT MAY BE SOMETHING MORE SUBLIMIABLE) AND GET THAT BLOODY CAPS LOCK OFF!

guitarmanjon – Member

Have you tried going out on your bike instead?
That can go even more wrong…

I can see another thread starting… “Which bike to have sex with?”

One with oversized tubing.

Alpin has hit the button, so to speak!!
An old hooker’s trick to move clients along if they were taking a little too long.
Just make sure she removes her bling rings and trims her nails – embarrassing in casualty otherwise.

get her to take up Kegel exercises?

Beware, with Alpin, a finger would only be the start of it….

get her to take up Kegel exercises?

<chants>Stitches stitches stitches.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this thread is basically about showing off. I read an article the other day, written by someone who’d got so bored of sex they’d taken a 12-month vow of chastity. Now we have someone who has hour-long sex sessions requiring a change of sheets, not once, not once a year, but so often its a problem and a girlfriend who complains that the sex lasts too long.

Next up, the man who’s wife is bored of the body-wracking orgasms that his dextrous love-making subjects her to on a daily basis. 🙂

I think he’d enjoy some tighter Easton tubing.

I FIND IT A LOT EASIER TO FINISH WHEN I’M INSIDE HER HEAD. MIGHT BE A MENTAL THING. TROUBLE IS, SHE ISN’T (UNDERSTANDABLY) ALWAYS UP FOR IT.

Ear sex has never done it for me…

Your thinking about it too much!

Just switch off the thoughts and go with the flow, having sex WITH someone is better having sex for someone.

If it’s getting sore, it’s cause she’s lost interest/frustrated…try more foreplay, use toys, bondage, etc….It’s not all about penetration.

Seems you know more how to satisfy her than yourself, try new stuff and see what turns you on properly..you’re in a samo samo rut and need some variation..

Oh and try slowing down and be more sensual, don’t rush to make her cum as it just puts more pressure on you. put on some soft tunes and not trash metal, something that will chill out your rhythmn.

Film yourselves at it or in front of a mirror.

Would you like one of my flicker book tutorials?

It’s always best if you are as quick as possible and shout “YAY I WIN AGAIN” at the end.

duckman, what makes you think that?

What a load of coc….

Oh.

does he not read the replies about the caps lock?!

Maybe if you opened up the valve and re-inflated your “gf” to the correct pressure you would get more sensation?????

Alpin, just wild internet speculation…Oh and your website, least I think it is you under the gasmask and funnel…

Is Alpin the next Max Mosley?

You heard it here first…

Are you really sure shes that good looking, theres the saying that you dont need to look at the mantlepiece while poking the fire..
I think it could be a double bag situation… you wear one as well in case hers comes off. 😉

BigDummy – you read that blasted Graun article as well then? I know it was in the weekend ‘magazine’ but really, I thought it was utter drivel. ‘look at me, I had so much s€x that I decided to stop for a year and better yet – I decided to tell you all about it!!’. One wonders just how much public approval the writer needs to get through her day to day life…

And people, please stop poking the troll, otherwise it’ll keep pestering us.