A SENSITIVE SUBJECT

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  • A SENSITIVE SUBJECT
  • bikemonkey
    Member

    If you’re hoping for a sensible response, you’re about to be very disappointed.

    RudeBoy
    Member

    SWITCH YOUR CAPS LOCK KEY TO ‘OFF’, and you might find things calm down a bit….

    RudeBoy
    Member

    Too late, we saw it!

    Surfr
    Member

    LOL, this should be good

    Thread of the week, I predict.

    Also,

    [Tannoy]

    FATSIMON TO THE FORUM, PLEASE. I REPEAT, FATSIMON TO THE FORUM, PLEASE

    [/Tannoy]

    radler
    Member

    DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE RE. THE DISAPPEARING TEXT. EDITED IT AND COCKED UP SOMEWHERE.

    BACK NOW THOUGH.

    Premier Icon Teetosugars
    Subscriber

    *Pulls up chair…*

    Coffee?
    tea?

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    ITS BECAUE YOU’RE TOO BIG, OBVIOUSLY.

    Try a size smaller…

    Premier Icon swavis
    Subscriber
    RudeBoy
    Member

    Cup of Rosy please, Teeto.

    Got any biscuits?

    alpin
    Member
    alpin
    Member

    not had any biscuits in ages!

    alpin – Member
    biscuits!

    At least we know they won’t be soggy ones.

    bullheart
    Member

    Oh yes….

    Work has been sooooo slow today…!

    I think that you might regret this.

    you’re not taking antidepressants are you ? This is a common side effect…

    IanMunro
    Member

    radler, if you’re having problems with release, try thinking of Brad Pitt at the important moment.

    sofatester
    Member

    Beat me to it Ian, so to speak.

    Red wine, anybody? St Emillion (sp?) ready πŸ™‚

    Define marathon?

    sofatester
    Member

    There are so many beverages to choose from i have almost forgotten about the OP!

    PJ266
    Member

    Over a minute.

    Or is that just me?

    RudeBoy
    Member

    Twirly for red wine, Hairy.

    Woon’t mind a little steak and kidney pie, if there’s any about.

    I’ve had the same problem,

    3 solutions,

    1, go till you’r knackered and accept the inevitable blue balls in the morning

    2, get her to do more of the work (once im worn out it tends to be ‘worse’)

    3, play buckaroo (call her her sisters/best friends name and see how long you can hold on)

    That and console yourself that some people apparently have the opposite problem!

    Ah, buckaroo, the sport of kings when a young boulevardier!

    Premier Icon Gee-Jay
    Subscriber

    Define Marathon … longer or shorter than 2 minutes?

    This is going to be a long hard thread

    Pulls up bed…….

    Damn, I had so much work to do this afternoon.

    [scrape]Pulls up chair[/scrape]

    3, play buckaroo (call her her sisters/best friends name and see how long you can hold on)

    Class, pure class.

    Dirty Sanchez anyone?

    Premier Icon jimmy
    Subscriber

    Think of it as when you cross the line before her you win. And she’s a big, useless loser.

    Of course, you wouldn’t want to be the loser, would you now?

    Premier Icon wonny j
    Subscriber

    Try the back door

    Premier Icon BigDummy
    Subscriber

    You are expecting rather a lot from this “sex” thing, aren’t you?

    As I understand it, the purpose of the exercise is to satisfy mrsradler. This involves buying her something very expensive, probably giving her a massage and then lavishing as much attention on her as she needs to have fun. She will then say something about you being inconsiderate, and go to sleep. You dry-humping her long after she’s finished and got bored in a bid to achieve ejaculation yourself will only irritate her, and make you feel silly.

    Cuddle her for a bit, then when she dozes off go on the internet and look at something implausible involving women with no pubic hair, some dogs and a chinese gentleman while massaging assos chamois cream into your scrotum.

    zokes
    Member

    BD – Class!

    alpin
    Member

    BD, you speak from experience?

    that or you are a very twisted man. lawyer, aren’t you?

    sharki
    Member

    I had this same problem with my ex, however she drank too much, smoked and generally became a bit of a minger, so i started thinking about riding during bedtime antics.

    Now this is all well and good, the rare chance of me being able to multi task, think about riding whilst satisfying her is a talent is was very proud of……however, she became convinced i still fancied her and the demand grew…..

    But seriously, you’ve found what makes her tick so to speak and you play on this, which is great for her and your ego, but it becomes an obsession to keep satisfying her again and again, you’ve stopped doing it for you and don’t want to finish it for her…

    Now there various things you can do to make you finish.

    1, think of someone else, as wrong as it is the excitement will get help, she’s been doing the same.

    2, Don’t be affraid not to be able to perform again after blowing ya load, have a cuppa/fag/bleed yer brakes then go at it again, that way you popped you sauce and the rest of the session is all for her, without your fear of not being able to finish.

    3, Use non contact foreplay, you can touch anywhere but the those special places…do this for as long as you can handle then let go, the build up will be beyond control..

    4, You maybe in denial and really want a man, try it!

    We used to have a user on here to help out with these things, But Agony aunt is all loved up and doesn’t come on here no more..

    Premier Icon BigDummy
    Subscriber

    I am both a lawyer and a very twisted man. However, I am also a walking psycho-sexual catastrophe of Woody Allen-like proportions. πŸ™‚

    sofatester
    Member

    You’re obviously GAY!

    BigDummy – Member

    I am both a lawyer and a very twisted man. However, I am also a walking psycho-sexual catastrophe of Woody Allen-like proportions.

    Night riding takes on a whole new perspective with you BD πŸ˜† PMSL!

    hora
    Member

    Whereas Im just a twisted-man and hopefully a layer 8)

    Premier Icon Sandwich
    Subscriber

    Also
    [Tannoy} Houns to the Forum, I repeat Houns to the Forum[/Tannoy]
    πŸ˜€

    Biscuit and some Redbush Tea please

    alpin
    Member

    finger up ya bum?

    radler
    Member

    OK. HERE GOES.

    OUT OF THE LAST THREE TIMES I’VE HAD SEX WITH THE GIRLFRIEND I’VE ONLY ‘PERFORMED’ ONCE. THAT IS, I’VE FINISHED, SO TO SPEAK.

    IT ISN’T THAT I CANT GET IT UP. IT ISN’T THAT I DON’T WANT SEX. I CAN HARDLY KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF WITH HER. I STILL FIND HER VERY ATTRACTIVE.

    MY PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN IT TURNS INTO A MARRATHON ROMP I GET OVER EXCITED. TOO MUCH FLASHES THROUGH MY HEAD AND I ALMOST LOSE TRACK OF WHAT I’M DOING, SO TO SPEAK. AND WHEN WE DO HAVE THESE MARATHON SESSIONS I END UP BEING ALMOST TOO HARD ON HER IN ORDER TO FINISH MYSELF OFF.
    LAST NIGHT FOR INSTANCE; EVERYTHING GOING WELL, ‘SATISFIED’ HER SEVERAL TIMES OVER. REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN MORE THAN ONCE BUT SADLY I RETURNED, THAT IS I DIDN’T JUMP SHIP/DEPLOY.

    HELP. PLEASE.

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