At The Cavern to see Ali Maas and Mick Moody, (rock guitarist of note).

Afterwards, word with the great man.

Me: “The first live band I ever saw, upstairs in The Kingston Hotel in 1968…”

Mick Moody: “What?”

Me: “The first band I ever saw, upstairs in The Kingston Hotel in 1968, was Juicy Lucy!”

Mick Moody: “I wasn’t in the band then. I didn’t join until 1970.”

Me: “Really? Oh well, bugger off then.” 🙂

Me and Ginger, from great British band the Wildhearts

Me: “Incomprehensible drunken scottishness”
Ginger: “Incompehensible drunken geordieness”
Me: “Incomprehensible drunken scottishness”
Ginger: “Incompehensible drunken geordieness”
Me: “Incomprehensible drunken scottishness”
Ginger: “Incompehensible drunken geordieness”

After a couple of minutes of total failure to communicate I literally ran away… Met him again years later in a quieter place with less drink involved and he went “Oh, that was YOU!”. Then at an acoustic show a year or two later he spotted me and told the story to the whole crowd 😳

Me…thats £2.99 please
Gail from Corrie ..thank you.

I slept with Susan Boyle.

True story.

She was in the seat next to me on a flight back from LA. We spoke for a while in the lounge, and before take off. She’d just been in Vegas singing with an Osmond, about whom she was gushing with praise and adulation, and I’d been in Vegas at the same time (Selling paperclips, obviously). We discussed Vegas, flying and the longing to get home!

Charming lass. Snores a bit.

Aside from that, worked in TV for a while, so met many slebs during that time. Have also met a fair few other interesting/famous folks over the years. Had a chat with Simon Barnes at the urinals at Burghley a few years ago, for example. Oh, the exalted circles I move in!

David Coultard and I swapped driving tips – I had reversed into a car outside pub in Twynholm, he had bumped his ride in practice the weekend before…

Boris and his dad and I had a blether over a coffee – I was clearing up a trade stand and he was early for speaking at event and looking for coffee, and smelt ours brewing…

Interviewed:

Kate Humble
Benedict Allen
Lesley Garrett
Brian Blessed
Neil Warnock
David Seddon
Atomic Kitten
Kriss Akabusi
John Craven

Had conversations with Akabusi, Craven, Allen and Humble from that lot. Kerry Katona snogged me. John Craven told me to apply for a job on countryfile

Kriss Akabusi

still hilarious: http://krissakabusisexstories.blogspot.co.uk

Captain Eric Brown. Twice. A lovely gentleman

Robert Plant. Well, not exactly a conversation TBH. in the service department of Listers Audi Worcester a few years ago, I was sitting on the sofa he sat on the other end and said “morning” to me and I said “morning” back.

Worked with Jamie rednap (football TVs show) nice guy
Connor mcgregor: Met and been to his house in Vegas a few times (UFC fighter)
Sat at Jenner Jameson’s (ADULT actress) table in a club and chatted with her and her BF

Had a lengthy chat with an old guy in racing overalls about a Bugatti 35 at the Festival of Speed one year, I had earlier witnessed Ron Dennis behind a barrier posing around and looking aloof but this guy spent about 20 minutes chatting like he’d known me all my life! parted ways and carried on the day. The following Christmas I bought the video (VHS, yes that long ago!), sat watching it one evening suddenly the very same guy appears being interviewed ……

Sir Jack Brabham!

still hilarious: http://krissakabusisexstories.blogspot.co.uk

That is quite possibly the finest thing on teh interwebz! Not even this can improve on it…..http://www.pornolize.com/ (Caution – Many, many, many rude words in both links!)

Was drunk at an FA charity dinner. Had a chat with Terry Venables. Thought it would be nice for my dad to say hello so told El Tel that it was dad’s birthday (it wasn’t) and rang dad up for a chat.
It was 1am and dad was asleep.

He awoke to, “Hi John, many happy returns. Terry Venables here…”
Awkward.

Trying to bump start a mates car at a local pub

Robert Plant and aquaintance wander over……….

Rob – need a hand
Me – ok
Bump starts car
Me – thanks guys
Rob and mate – smile and wave fairwell

Didn’t know who he was untill another mate explained afterwards 🙂

Sir Richard Branson; “Hi!”
Me; “Hello”
SRB; “how’s it all going?”
Me; “Erm….OK”
SRB; “Riight. Well have a nice day”
Me; “thanks”

I just didn’t know what to say. He just waved after that rather than talk. He probably didn’t see the point.

Shaun Ryder in Ibiza. Don’t remember much. We were all out if it. Same with Jay Kay.

Was at a Mini do at Sandown Park, early January. Me and a mate were camping in the snow, whilst exhibiting his car we had jointly built. Think the organisers fely sorry for us, so let us use their lounge in the day to save us from freezing to death.

Anyway final day of the show and I’m sitting in the lounge on my own, when an oldish fella walks in and sits down. He starts up conversation and we have a good natter bout cars, shit and the weather. He loved it we were camping. Any way long story short, come presentation time this same fella gets introduced on stage to present the awards. It was John Cooper, who even gave a mention to his new mate he’d met in the lounge who was camping in the snow.

Never knew it was him, thoroughly nice bloke.

Marcel

Have worked at Ken Bruce’s house, seemed a really nice guy when he came to see us after getting home from his radio show.
Seen quite a few actors when working at my local theatre
Have been working on and off for an ‘A’ list celeb for the last few years….can’t say too much as signed a secrecy agreement, but she was in an Austin Powers film….
Can’t say i have had a proper conversation with her except about positions of sockets and light…but I guess that counts

I was doing some training of staff at Digital Domain, walking in quite early through the building to the mocap room when James Cameron quite literally leapt out from behind a cubical “I don’t know you and you don’t work here” he says pointing at me “Nope” I says “I’m here training some of the guys on the mocap system”, “Oh” he says “Are we paying you ?” he asks, “No it’s part of the service”. “That’s ok then”. Off he walks.

Gary Linekar. Asked him if he had fancied management instead of the TV work. His responce was something along the lines of “why would I do that with all the stress when I can sit and have a laugh with mates and get paid for it ?”

Paul Weller, at Theatre in Woking. We are both having a leak when another guy came in recognised him and asked for an autograpgh, the great man said “F-off I’m having a piss”

Met Keanu Reeves once as he was at “our table”, there was no conversation as he was passed out drunk in the corner.

@wrecker have met Sir Richard a few times when flying Virgin, what really impressed me is he spent more time per passenger when I was in Economy with my kids than when flying business. He is a most engaging guy and always did seem to be wearing a ragged home knit sweater

Had to give a lift to that bloke who played Reg Holdsworth.
Absolute **** who rattled on about UKIP type things.

Ari Vatanen in a sauna.

It was only as he was leaving that I realised who he was, and I apologised.

He invited me to join the team later in the bar.

I walked in and he shouted for me to come over 🙂 Cracking night.

Oh, I met Weller myself once. Paris. We’d just arrived backstage to share the dressing room with The Jam.

Looked around the divider screen and there was Weller, his dad John and the bass player.

I said “Oh, hello Paul”.

He didn’t reply. Just looked at me started shaking…

Famous BBC journalist once interviewed my kids and left me his number for any future stories he might have followed up on. I put it in my phone as ‘His name…Rad’ short for radio.

When I had a plumbing emergency I called him thinking he was the guy who put my radiators in and he left a voicemail saying ‘I don’t know much about radiators, I’m a BBC journalist’…

I sold Marc Beaumont some Stan’s tape once…

Ate some fast food and drunk a beer with Quentin Tarantino at a rave, made drunken small talk. Seemed a odd guy with even odder associates but we both may of been a bit inebriated.

I sold Marc Beaumont some Stan’s tape once…

Pfft.

I sold David “Kid” Jenson some padded pants. Oh, and sold Scary Spice a bike as well.

Alex Patterson from The Orb – I know you from somewhere don’t I?
Me – errr… dunno, yeah maybe….
Alex – Yeah I definitely do.. Where is it?
Me – gawd knows.. could be that big party at Hinkley Point on the queen’s golden jubilee?
Alex – I can’t remember if I was there.. everything gets a bit blurry
Me – innit.. I dunno then… can I have a go on your joint?

Andy Diagram of Spaceheads and trumpet player with James and I had a brief conversation about his partner’s wish to DJ at my wedding and her amazingly obscure record collection.. I was a bit starstruck though and spent the rest of the evening wishing that I’d asked him if his Gore Bikewear jacket was cos he was into bikes

An old girlfriend of mine told Davina McCall to **** off when she burst into the tattoo shop we were sitting in.. She was filming for the TV series Streetmates and looked pretty crestfallen

Robert Plant seems to crop up a lot in these kind of stories.

You get the impression he spends his spare time just wandering round talking to strangers.

Had lunch many years ago with Clive Dunn and his wife Priscilla Morgan. In their apartment.

young sailor sentry duty lateish one cold dark night
scimitar pulls up
nonchalantly stroll over lean in the car window
“yes darling , can i help you “
bird in car ” i’m here to see my brother “
me ” who’s yer brother darlin’ “
bird in car ” Prince Charles “
me “yes ma’am whilst saluting smartly

Can I borrow your track pump please?
Sure
Thanks

Me and Gary Fisher besties!!

scimitar pulls up

But then….

” who’s yer brother darlin’ “

Surely you knew the answer to your question as soon as you saw the Scimitar?

Second floor?
Yeah me too thanks

Me and Jean Luc Picard in an elevator at Heathrow. Still regret not saying “make it so”.

Spoken to hundreds of “famous” people over the years.
I don’t really get all the excitement about it. They’re just people.

Once had a long chat with Billy Connolly about old racers (road bikes these days).. Couple of years later he walked past and called me a “****” for riding my BMX on the pavement. A few more years passed and I saw him at a junction in Partick riding a massive motortricycle in a bandanna. seemed wrong not to return the compliment.

Passed a pleasent few minutes with William Hague at the urinals in a welsh hotel (so to speak) – surprised to find him to be an OK guy.
Julia Bradbury and Tony Robinson both filmed documentaries outside my house: he was fine she was not really.

Prince Charles, he’s a nobber.
Alberto Contador, he’s OK.
Tom Baker, or Dr WHO rang up (OK he mis-dialled) and we chatted for about 45mins.
Lent a pen to a famous actress so she could sign her contract for Tampax adverts.
The White Stig follows me on Twitter.
Garry Christian (The Christians) asked us the way to the bogs in a club in Liverpool where we had gone to watch The Contortion Company (a band we knew and supported, but aren’t famous).

trumping you all here…..

Bobby “King of bling” George came down to do an exhibition and we got on so well he offered me a job as his driver. The only slight problem was I couldn’t drive.

Me to barmaid “Can I have a half ounce of golden virginia please”
Barmaid “Certainly, that will be £x.xx”
Max Miller (sat on barstool) “Alright, mate”
Me “Alright”

Flashie , what makes it worse was Charles was my divisional officer at the time .

I once served Bob Crampsey with 3 star petrol. Our conversation centred round him berating me for giving him the more expensive of the two types of 3 star!