Ah the old breast feeding mafia thing. Mrs ddmonkey tried very hard to make breast feeding work but after several weeks of tortue and constatnly hungry babies we got a breast pump and formula. I actually said that's it I can't take any more of this and went down to a 24 supermarket at 3am to buy the stuff, best decision ever. Don't flog a dead horse. My three top tips would be:

Don't feel guilty about it if breast feeding really doesn't work, it may do it may not, but either way express what you can and if you have to use a bottle do so and move on, its not the end of the world.

If your baby has great discomfort and crying after feeding and this perists then don't just accept "its colic nout you can do". Try a Lactose free formula and see if that helps. Our second was lactose intolerant and as soon as we moved him to lactose free formula he was a different baby.

Finally do work hard to establish a routine after the first few weeks, not in the horrible Gina Ford way but in a regular time for feeds and sleeps way. It will make life easier if you persist.

All the very best! Fatherhood is great and it gets better after the first 6 weeks, honest!

Another top tip, avoiding the breast feeding argument: get the kid out of your room asap. A month is fine. Otherwise every little snuffle will wake you up, and every little snore will wake small up. All of you will sleep better for it.

And if baby wakes up and wants something, trust me: you'll know about it.

The BF mafia… christ, I've never been made to feel so bad in my life by those Nazi midwifes… It came to a crunch for us when my Mrs was told to manually express into a fekin cup on day 5 when our daughter was Jaundiced probably due to not getting enough food.
There is following NHS / Nice guidelines.. and then there is simple cruelty.
DDmonkey, sound advice m8.

Yes – and even if you are in the 'impossible' group there, the health 'professionals' still run from formula feeding and there is a void of information – which is very disconcerting to a soon-to-be mother who knows it is all she can have. I'm not talking about people choosing not to breast feed here – I'm talking about the people who should provide the information but are in fear of the legislation that promotes breast feeding – totally different thing.

MrsHeathen tried it for a day and wouldnae do it. Our girl's had formula and is, um, irrepressible, strong, fast and ahead of the other kids in her nursery class – all of whom are older than her. She's my youngest and I can honestly say there's nowt in it between her development and her breast fed brothers. And, to be fair, our midwife was totally cool with MrsHeathen's decision.

She slept in our room for a year and none of us suffered for it (grown up only 'special moments' returned about 4 weeks after the birth so don't believe any scare stories there. Of course, it all depends on how yr mrs is feeling).

The only hard going is colic in the night but here Infacol is your friend. It doesn't get rid of it totally but reduces it massively. At times, the first few months will, however, involve sleep deprivation and the looming spectre of madness.

The book What to Expect the First Year is very good but it's not gospel. Definitely worth getting hold of for alternative viewpoints to those you'll get from friends, relatives and muddleheaded internet 'experts' 😉

The main thing is that children are fantastic and worth all the effort. And, as I type this, I can unequivocally say that I'm actually enjoying Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom….

EDIT: The 'stop playing and eat your breakfast' conversation i've just had has reminded me that they will drive you **** nuts sometimes but even when they do you can't help but love em 🙂

Food etc etc.

More important. Your partner may seem 'unreasonable' at times. You will come home from work tired and she'll act off with you, throw a 'strop' and you'll have a thought 'its not going to be the same anymore, shes drifting from me' etc etc.

Its not. Its purely the upheaval, tiredness etc. Before- you think 'yes I know this will happen' but in the eye of the storm you forgot this…

So remember, she may come across as cranky and off with you a month or two… its temporary.

not exactly caught up just reasonably proud. The main point was that not being breastfed doesn't mean a child will be stunted, sickly and brain damaged which is how some of the more heavy handed pro-breast feeding lobby can present it.

I can clearly remember that I couldn't get the hang of tying my shoe laces. I'm not going to worry too much over the above.

langy, that is the most sensible post on this thread, 'Grace' great name, We have a 6 week old 'Grace'. 😮