OP – that was exactly the process I went through about 9 months ago! I’d also considered the fact that a really special bike should be ridden lots, so dropping a fortune on a ‘high days and dry days’ road bike wasn’t (for me) money well spent either.
I went with a Kinesis Tripster ATR ti frame built with nice hoops, carbon bits and Ultegra. I use it at least four times a week, commute on it, ride it at weekends with the boys on their carbon bikes and love it to bits. Every time I ride it I enjoy the fact it feels special and I can just about live with wrecking the drivetrain through the winter… I’ve toured on it too – it’s a proper ‘do it all’ bike without feeling like there’s any compromise.
As previously mentioned, there’s probably mileage in checking its the type of bike you want first. I had an alloy Tripster before and knew it was going to be right, though I did consider a Burls custom as well as steel before I took the plunge.
Happy birthday when it lands – in my experience you’ll need something like a new bike to get through it, 🙂