20 week scan – to know or not to know??

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  • 20 week scan – to know or not to know??
  • Ro5ey
    Member

    What ever your Mrs decides.

    End of thread

    patriotpro
    Member

    Get the scanner-dude to tell you seperately if you want to know but the Mrs doesn’t…

    Premier Icon cp
    Subscriber

    defo not for me. just think of names for both options…. what else is there to plan for initially that could be affected by boy or girl?

    patriotpro
    Member

    Ro5ey – Member
    What ever your Mrs decides.

    End of thread

    Why so?

    hora
    Member

    Mrshora started crying. She wanted a girl.

    Personally if we did it again, I’d like it to be not known to us.

    wilko1999
    Member

    First child we both wanted a surprise and it was brilliant not knowing until the birth. Mrs Wilko is 6 months gone again and this time we found out, and it was equally brilliant that way too. My advice though is if you’re going to have two, then at least have one surprise, its the biggest most amazing surprise you will ever have in your life and a wonderful experience.

    camo16
    Member

    We didn’t choose to know.

    But mrscamo16 spent the months between the scans and the birth analysing our blurry womb shots, convinced she’d definitely seen Johnson whilst viewing the screen. 😯

    She was right…

    So, even if you don’t find out, you’ll probably spend months trying to find out…

    Premier Icon DaveRambo
    Subscriber

    We decided on not finding out.
    It makes no difference and it sets some expectations on names, room decoration blah blah.

    We just bought neutral stuff and a bare minimum at that, and were both glad that we didn’t ask/know/find out as we couldn’t decide on a name and took a couple of weeks to see what name ‘fitted’.

    Bimbler
    Member

    We weren’t allowed to find out in the hospital my eldest was born at in that London. Intentionally didn’t want to know for second and glad we made that decision.

    Ro5ey
    Member

    Cus in pregnancy it’s our jobs as fellas to be as supportive, caring, kind, considerate, patient, compassionate, selfless loving partners as much as we can be.

    DO NOT UPSET A PREGANT LADY…. even in the smallest slightest way possible

    And I say that for your own good…. 😆

    Oh and we didn’t for the first, but did for the second after I tentively suggested it…. Girl and a lad …. job done.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    First one – we didn’t ask, we weren’t told. There’s no real point. Second one we got the money shot by chance as she was poking around, so it was fairly obvious.

    Just don’t go nuts buying stuff before the birth, problem solved.

    Premier Icon scotroutes
    Subscriber

    We knew early(other scans involved too)but still hadn’t settled on a name until after she was born.

    You may well already have a preference as to whether you’d like a boy or girl, as may your partner. So prepare for the disappointment if it’s not what you’d imagined. Whereas waiting for the day of the birth, you’ll be so shit scared that everything is going to go ok, and be so overcome with emotion when it comes out that you really won’t care.

    For us, there are so few surprises left in life, that I was happy for nature to throw one our way. As for the acquaintances I have that knew/didn’t know, there was no way of predicting who wanted to or didn’t want to – I have been constantly surprised by who has or hasn’t found out. So, I’d try not to judge anyone whatever their decisions. It’s very personal.

    In your situation, if your partner wants to keep it as a surprise, then I’d go with that. There are many decisions to be made and most of them are the same whether it’s a boy or girl and the most important thing is that you’re both on the same page when the decision has to be taken.

    Best of luck with the scan though. 🙂 The 20 week one is amazing. I think you’ll be amazed at the level of detail that the newer machines can show now. And remember to tell the ultrasound person beforehand whether you want to know. That way, he or she can tell you to look away if there’s a point at which you might find out.

    Premier Icon johnikgriff
    Subscriber

    Tbh we found out.

    There are loads of other surprises when it arrives, one less does make any odds and its something nice to know now.

    Well that’s how my wife explained it and I just went along with her…… 😉

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    My mum (normally intelligent) kept asking us “So, what do you think it is? You must have a feeling about it?”

    Seriously mum, don’t be bloody ridiculous. We have no idea!

    bencooper
    Member

    Also, they might not be able to tell you – we didn’t know because the offspring kept moving and tucking the cord between her legs 😉

    Have two names lined up, apart from that everything’s the same.

    mudshark
    Member

    I really wanted boy and my wife didn’t mind, decided no point leaving it as a surprise. It was pretty clear he was a boy so that was cool. Some places won’t tell you – and some charge I’ve heard!

    Scamper
    Member

    Got our scan in 2 weeks, and as with the first child, don’t want to find out. Never really understood the need to plan ahead, when for the first month or two its just a case of a few sets of blue or pink clothes, which will either be too big or small anyway if bought ahead 😀 If I recall in Birmingham I think there is a policy of not disclosing anyway.

    patriotpro
    Member

    Cus in pregnancy it’s our jobs as fellas to be as supportive, caring, kind, considerate, patient, compassionate, selfless loving partners as much as we can be.

    Agreed but possible to do all that and still find out the sex of your unborn child without upsetting Mrs. Obviously there are the really high-maintenance women who revel in being unbearably demanding for the whole 9 months, plus whatever time after that and for those fellas lumbered with one of those, you have my sympathy. 😉

    We found out every time for my 3, but as we both agreed we wanted to know it was an easy decision to make.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Other colours of clothes, paint and furniture are available, besides blue and pink.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    had a surprise first time

    found out second time, as we had about three ton of girls’ clothes hanging about

    you can still shortlist names if you don’t find out BTW – i’d recommend keeping it as a surprise the first time

    There are also women stuck with neanderthal sexists.

    They have my sympathy also.

    Ro5ey
    Member

    Am I right in remembering on QI, Fry told us in victorian times that it was the other way around … Blue for a girl and pink for a boy ??

    Or was that dreamt up by me in a semi awake state during a night feed a few years back.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    I have heard that on Radio 4 also Rosey.

    Our second-born is happily wearing pink stuff. Doesn’t seem to have affected his masculinity yet.

    stufive
    Member

    we decided not to know but it wont matter because you’ll be a jibbering emotional wreck when it happens anyway 🙂 It was def the best moment in my life when they said we had a little girl though makes me smile thinking about it good luck with it all!!

    jamiea
    Member

    Neither of us were bothered either way so didn’t find out and painted the nursery yellow… Out pops a girl and wifey say’s she wanted a girl all along 😐 🙄 .

    Edit, handily enough we had decided on a girls name but weren’t sure on a boys name!

    Cheers,
    Jamie

    Premier Icon woody2000
    Subscriber

    We found out both times, though on the first occasion jnr W2K decided to turn round and display his manhood for all to see anyway 🙂

    Premier Icon hot_fiat
    Subscriber

    We’re keeping it a surprise. I thought it might stop the mrs from spending HUUGE amounts on baby clothes. Didn’t work, she’s just bought stuff for both possibilities and then backed it all up with neutral stuff as well. Ahh well, she likes clothes, I have my toys. 😀

    It is one of the last proper surprises in life. Of course with a predicted (ha!) 4 weeks to go I’m now desperate to find out but whatever it is, it’ll be awesome.

    Shortlisting names is fun, we sorted a boy’s pretty quickly but the girl’s was much more difficult. All done now though.

    organic355
    Member

    Scan tomorrow, debating with the Mrs whether to find out if boy or girl or not.

    I think it would be a good idea so you can plan stuff, shortlist names etc, but I get the impression she didnt want to know in the beginning and I have talked her into it.

    I am not hugely fussed, but do most people find out? I guess it might be a nice surprise not to know?

    Ho hum
    Member

    My wife and I chose not to find out with all 3 of ours.

    We both wanted it to be a surprise each time. As has been mentioned above it’s one of the last proper surprises you will both have.

    In terms of guessing the sex, I managed to get it wrong each time…

    Premier Icon juanking
    Subscriber

    We purposefully didn’t want to know. It’s one of the only true surprises you’ll get in life!

    Just from a feminist POV….shouldn’t make a difference to the colours you dress kiddo in, the colours of the room, or the toys they have. Boy or girl, your child will have its own personality and preferences, no need to gender stereotype from before birth!

    warton
    Member

    we didn’t for our first (boy)

    did for our second (also boy) we did because we had clothes that we wanted to know if we could give away or keep…

    Our first arrived just a few weeks ago and we chose not to find out. It was a wonderful surprise and I’m so glad we didn’t know. Mrs P said it gave her more of an incentive to push. To be honest most of the clothes he’s in are pretty much unisex apart from a few nice outfits we’ve bought. He won’t be in his nursery for a good few weeks yet so plenty of time to decorate for him. Enjoy whatever you have when it arrives.

    ncfenwick
    Member

    This thread should have ended on the second post!

    We found out and for some reason called her Hilda for 4 months until we thought of a name (Iris by the way). This might sound strange but I thought it helped me bond with her even though she was still in mummy’s tummy. Plus I liked saying ‘she’ and ‘her’ rather than ‘it’ or ‘baby’

    LenHankie
    Member

    I’ve never really understood why one would want to know – the surprise is all part of the fun isn’t it? It’s not like you can change it anyway.

    Luckily, my wife and I agreed on this with both our two. We got one of each in the end, which was great, but I don’t think I really would have cared either way.

    Finding out just seems like opening your Christmas presents in October.

    fasthaggis
    Member

    I’ve never really understood why one would want to know – the surprise is all part of the fun isn’t it? It’s not like you can change it anyway.

    + lots

    Premier Icon totalshell
    Subscriber

    best kept secret in the world.. keep it that way makes the waiting special.. good luck.

    We didn’t, because we didn’t mind either way.

    Also, we were told that the error rate was somewhere around 5%, ie. 1 in 20, so you have to be careful if you’re an everything pink or blue person. Although I only know of one person who’s had this problem, friend of a friend on facebook, so I don’t know if the error rate is actually quite that high nowadays.

    bencooper
    Member

    Just from a feminist POV

    Not just feminist – stereotyping of boys is just as bad as stereotyping of girls.

    Premier Icon StirlingCrispin
    Subscriber

    Our local health authority (Forth Valley) no longer tells you the sex during the scan, so don’t ask.

    So – we knew for Thump, but Thud was a surprise.

    Made no difference either way – the anticipation was as much fun as the surprise.

    patriotpro
    Member

    deadlydarcy – Member
    There are also women stuck with neanderthal sexists.

    *puts club down and stops hunting for a sec*

    Why because a man takes the option of finding out the sex of his unborn child?

    *scratches his arse and looks up at darcy’s pedestal*

    Oh I was just making a general comment patriotpro.

    I’m not sure why you would have thought it was aimed at you.

    *waves down*

    prawny
    Member

    I don’t understand the wanting a surprise thing, it’s not like you get to choose at the scan. You’re just getting your surprise early.

    We found out with both of ours, still thought of boys and girls names for both though, just in case.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    bet you feel your xmas pressies too prawny

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