It was so long ago, I don’t remember the first talk, but I do remember his mum telling me she’d seen he had been watching porn on the net, so I had to do the “Pron is bad/ real sex ain’t like that/ consent is everything” talk. Was recommended by someone to do the talk in the car, so that we didn’t have to look at each other if it got awkward and he was a captive audience. It worked pretty well, if I do say so myself. Referred to a TV prog I’d seen about consent and went from there. He was clearly embarrassed but could go nowhere! And he convinced me he was ok, I think he said it was “common sense” 🙂

Just talk.

School will have lined them up early for all this.

Mates will have spoken too.

I barely had ‘the talk’, they knew it all really. Maybe I was behind the curve…

10 seems young to me. I can’t remember ever having a talk from my parents and I’d be surprised if nowadays it is even really a thing.

As above, probably better to just talk openly about things and not stigmatise it be making a big thing.

With our two girls I just made sure they knew not to be taken for mugs and never give in to pressure if they don’t want to do anything. Beyond that, they also knew they could ask me or their mum anything at any time and we wouldn’t judge.

They both did at various times during their upbringing, and both have grown into stable and grounded women – it’ me who’s now the wreck… lol

Fine, dad what does **** mean, well son…tbh he isn’t much interested at this stage.

I’d far rather my kids asked me about it rather than leave it to their friends, or pornhub. My eldest is in a middle school, the oldest in that school are 13 and there are plenty of handsets passed around – bit harder to deal with than a copy of Razzle found in a hedge. He’d have been sheltered a bit more from it if he’d been in a two tier system, I’m sure.

Kids now have a lot to contend with based on how open everybody is. Around 10-12, based on his mates, many have confirmed their sexuality with a lot thinking they are bi or gay, and one thinks she’s trans. Whether you want to think they are too young or not to be thinking or deciding this stuff is irrelevant really, they are seeing it everywhere and discussing it at school – whether we’re all aware of it or not.

Somewhere between 10 and 11, we had some pretty frank discussions started by him and I just answered every question openly and honestly, and have had a few ongoing questions since thrown in here and there.

I said that while we’ll open any question honestly, I won’t talk about what him and his mum get up to. That’s private, and made it clear nobody should ever feel under pressure to divulge anything they also think is private, including any pressure his mates put him under.

His only concern was that if me and his mum were doing any of it, he wanted me to promise that he and his brother were never in the house 🙂

My parents told me nothing. I narrowly avoided get my sex education from a priest lol.

Just have a chat and see what direction it takes. He will know more than you imagine thanks to school, but stuff like internet porn needs to be discussed.
Boys need to learn that woman aren’t toys, which is what the internet teaches them.

All mine asked about sex/babies etc. before we brought it up, so it was just a case of giving straightforward answers to whatever questions they had. Easier said than done for ones like

“How do animals know what to do? Like, I didn’t know so asked you and you explained it. But how does a dog learn how to have sex? He can’t ask his dad”

and

“How do you know when the baby has been made?” Eh? “How do you know when to stop doing it?” Um, you can just tell 🤷🏻‍♂️

“How do animals know what to do? Like, I didn’t know so asked you and you explained it. But how does a dog learn how to have sex? He can’t ask his dad”

and

“How do you know when the baby has been made?” Eh? “How do you know when to stop doing it?” Um, you can just tell 🤷🏻‍♂️

Jesus wept, that sounds like my daughter in a couple of years time. Oh well, forewarned is forearmed…

It’s never really come up as it’s all been done at school, althgouh at 13 he’s not shown any interest in girls, but none of his group have.

They covered it at school and as we had two girls my wife covered most of the rest. The kind of talks I’ve had to have more recently – I don’t think there are books on, and certainly wasn’t something my Dad talked to me about.

But for the school bit – the parents were requested to attend one evening where the teachers of the year group actually went through the lesson that they do with the children. Not in as much detail but there was almost as much nervous shuffling of chairs in the school hall (not a euphemism) as the collective parents watched. Then they showed us the film they would all watch.

The memorable part was where for some reason the couple in the film were chasing each other round their bedroom trying to tickle each other with a large feather….. then Mr Kemp (total legend) announced at this point they take a break and the kids go and run around in the playground with 1000 yard stares at the thought of their PARENTS doing something like that.

I could have done a few laps myself at that point.

never had the talk with my kids. Its such a silly thing. Kids will ask questions so you just answer them. I’ve taught reproduction to 1st years and they kinda know what is going on. My kids know because it has come up in general conversation like how are babies made or they have seen condoms etc

I think its part of the primary school curriculum now.

Ours had lessons explaining everything before they were 10 anyway.

I think its part of the primary school curriculum now.

Ours had lessons explaining everything before they were 10 anyway

This

We have two (twin) daughters so a slightly different approach, but we discussed their lessons over dinner on a couple of nights and filled in gaps / answered questions they still had. There are also lots of age-suitable books out there you could get your boy.

Oh yeah,

Years ago, my mum relayed a tale of one of her friends sitting down to have ‘the talk’ with her teenage daughter. The daughter replied “sure, mum… what do you want to know?”

I’m not a parent but I’d leave school to cover off the physical aspect.

Clearly you are not a parent – any child should have the trust of their parent to discuss any matter and this is the first big one that needs to be discussed in an open and honest way. After all, a teacher will never understand the complex mental and emotional needs of an individual child like their parents do.

I couldn’t imagine saying to my daughters ‘no, school will tell you about the physical act – that’s nothing to do with me’.

We *did* get lots of giggling when we told them what mummy and daddy did to make them.

For boys, ‘The talk’ these days needs to be more about pornography being fiction and that women really won’t look, behave, or want to be treated ‘like that’. It also needs to be earlier than one might wish I’m afraid.

Do you really think porn is only for boys? This is the digital age, porn is on tap for anyone 24 hours a day and i can assure girls watch almost as much as boys.
So, that also means that the unrealistic expectations come from both sides.

you need the talk following an univited guest to the boudoir moment.. (stupid privacy locks that dont work)

in seriousness, both my kids had this covered off in primary (year 5 -though son ended up getting it a year early). We bought some very good “about my body” books, that cover all the workings of the body in quite some detail. The school element did seem to cover off the consent side of things quite well, and parents we’re pre-warned about the talks.

Although it might seem a hard topic to cover, when you sit down with your kids and try to cover off the factual parts of how things work, the rest generally falls into place, and liekly kiddie will ask simple questions.