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Bring Me My Tinfoil Hat
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I think I need a tinfoil hat. Or one of those full body green screen suits, except made out of space blankets. Maybe it’s my magnetic personality, or my electrifying wit. Perhaps there is a chip in my brain sending out microwaves. Whatever it is, I strongly suspect that I have some sort of aura around me that causes the immediate draining of mission critical batteries.
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The coin batteries seem most susceptible to my powers (Although, is it a power if it’s not in your control? Is this the difference between superheroes and freaks?). Fzst. Zip. LEDs cease flashing, LCDs stare blankly back. Shifters and pressure gauges are rendered useless.
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But it’s not just those little discs of anxiety (If you’re a parent, you know what I mean. I can’t quite shake the fear that somehow they’re going to slip their way down a throat and commence burning through internal organs). Other batteries are similarly under my influence (Again, is it influence if it’s not in your control? Is this the difference between power and notoriety?). Batteries for gears and dropper posts expend their last gasps, invariably leaving me in the opposite place to where I’d like to be. Even bog standard double AA batteries fall under my spell. The other morning we all had to wear extra jumpers and sit under blankets while we recharged the only set of batteries in the house, so the heating control would work again. (Making batteries disappear may be a superpower mutation inherited by my children - where do they all go? The batteries, not the kids).
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And so, much as I can appreciate the zippity-zap of electric shifting, I am relieved to see that cables ain’t dead (despite the bike industry’s best effort to bury them out of sight and out of mind through internal routing labyrinths). Long live cables! Now… if I wrap some cables around me, could I generate my own electricity and beat the energy price cap raise…?
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A from our sponsors: Cycling UK
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With the clocks about to spring forward, that means longer evenings and warmer weekends for getting out on the bike. And to help you embrace a whole year of adventures, Cycling UK is offering an incredible deal - 25% off membership! Whether you're planning leisurely weekend rides with the family, heading out on adventures with your riding buddy, or simply looking for a fun and healthy way to explore, Cycling UK is here to make every journey even more special.
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With Cycling UK membership, you get a whole year of benefits designed to make cycling even more enjoyable. You’ll get a whole year of peace-of mind insurance with £10m third-party liability, plus access to the legal assistance line powered by Cycle SOS so you know you’re covered on every ride.
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Not only that, you’ll get a treasure trove of retail benefits – whether you’re looking to upgrade your bike, your kit, or save some cash on holiday expenses, there’s something for everyone. With partners including Saddle Skedaddle, Kalas, Glorious Gravel and so many more, you’ll be sure to save with a brand you love. Cycling UK has also teamed up with Bikmo to make sure you can save on bike and travel insurance too.
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But that's not all! As a Cycling UK member, you’ll also gain access to exclusive events, group rides, where you can meet like-minded cyclists and become part of a welcoming and supportive community. Whether you’re a seasoned rider or just getting started, you’ll find inspiration, expert advice, and motivation in every issue of our bimonthly magazine, packed with the latest cycling news, top tips, and seasonal ideas for your next big ride.
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So why wait? The trails are calling, and there’s a whole world of adventure waiting for you. Join Cycling UK today and get 25% off membership—because every journey is better when you share it with those you love. Let’s make this spring one to remember, filled with new experiences, fresh discoveries, and the simple joy of cycling together.
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Bringing you a not-yet-sunbleached edition of FGF!
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Winter is gone! Break out the Maxxis Forekaster 3C Maxx Terra tyres kids! Free* speed but without the unwanted terrors. Brand: Maxxis Product: Forekaster 3C Maxx Terra Price: *£64.99 From: Freewheel Tested by: Benji for 2 years or so Pros Punches way, way, way above its weight Adds speed (and range if on an eeb) Isn't ever scary Cons Would …
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The Nixit is advertised as a menstrual cup (or cap, or disc) that doesn't rely on suction to stay in place. In theory, this makes it better suited to those with an IUD contraceptive device, for whom suction-based solutions are not advised. To be on the safe side, Nixit still advises you check with your healthcare provider for any compatibility …
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I find it very hard to imagine being disappointed with the Cannondale Scalpel 1 (once you'd got over the actual spending of all that money!)
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502 Club Raffle #9 Marzzochi Z1 Bombers
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502 Club raffle for an a pairof Marzzochi Z1 Bomber forks.
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Use code: 'ownwithbombers' to get a free ticket (£5 off) when you buy 4 or more. (Add 4 or more tickets to basket. Use code at checkout to reduce total by £5)
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£5.00
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