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7 Sexy Valentine's Gifts For Cyclists, And There's No Lycra

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Choosing a Valentine’s gift for a cyclist can be tricky. So we are here to help ease the burden, suggest a few great products, but also remind you that shopping with Singletrack helps us to keep pumping out the amazing print magazine, and all the free online content. If you don’t have a date this Valentine’s Day, remember that we love you for supporting our work.

1. You can ring ring ring, ring my bell, my bell

Here we blend cycling practicality with a slightly sexy 70’s disco song pun. This very handy bell that you can flip on to warn other trail users to your approach is not only very useful, but will also make your partner think of you when riding through a herd of dawdling ramblers blocking the towpath, again.

timber bell gift
I say… Ding Dong!

2. Got your as$e covered

Nothing says you have your partner’s back(side) covered like a tub of our remarkable Singletrack Salvation cycling bum cream. It’s entirely vegan, smells lovely, and can also be used as lip balm. But don’t double dip! Its anti bacterial qualities, combined with the natural fragrances of clove and thyme, will keep their downstairs smelling approachable all day long.

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salvation
Don’t repel love prospects… slap this around your undercarriage.

3. Keep your trousers on, for now.

Valentine’s Day is great time of year to drop your trousers, but only when the moment is right. Poorly timed trouser dropping is believed to contribute to over 40% of Valentine’s Day face slapping in some areas of Yorkshire*. Now you can stop this tragedy in your love life with this recycled inner tube belt, made in Malawi, where profits help some of the poorest people in the world. Your partner will not only be amazed at your trouser retaining and dropping skills, but also all the charity work you now do.

inner tube recycled belt valentine gift for mountain bikers
Keep your pants on.

4. French and ribbed.

Yes’ that’s right it’s our turbo stylish French Navy ribbed beanie hat. This hat is similar to the “commando” style, but slightly taller, and much groovier with irresistible subtle flecking in the “look what my gran made me” style. Making it ideal for the fashion-conscious free-thinking right on grandma loving saboteur around town.

ribbed hat
Hairy tramp available separately

5. Happy Bottom Bum Butter

This is very similar to our own Singletrack Salvation bum cream. The main difference is the Singletrack Salvation has some extra herb and a recyclable alloy can, and Bum Butter has a bloody great big red romantic arse heart on the label.

valentine gift for mountain bikers
Wow, what are the chances of them landing in this unique pattern?

6. Lube up your love

Maybe you don’t have a special someone in your life. It’s OK, you are probably better off. Yeah sure the council tax is a bit of a rip off as a single person, and then there are those meals for one at the supermarket. But on the plus side they do fly a flag that says “I’m available” to the checkout person, and you never know where that might lead?  Maybe a fondle in the veg department? So forget the humans, and simply buy your bike some really lovely chain lube. You can read our review here.

Smoove Lube valentine gift for mountain bikers
Smoove lube is lovely

7. Almost 100 FREE dirty weekends

Why spend big money on fancy hotels when you desire a weekend away. Simply buy your partner the Scottish Bothy Bible book, and they can choose from almost 100 different bunk up locations.

Go wild in the country
* 84.3% of all statistics are made up in the pub.
Author Profile Picture
Charlie Hobbs

Merch & Marketing Manager at Singletrack

Grumpy, happy, hairy, overweight and awesome. I started riding offroad in 1978, and never stopped. I was once Charlie The Bikemonger, I invented orienBEERing, the Clunker Classic, and the Dorset Gravel Dash. I own the Bum Butter brand and I'm a co-owner of Dirt Dash Events. I also work at Singletrack, I have the self-appointed job title of "Overlord of the leftovers" and look after the merch shop, and marketing. Other interests include skateboards, surfboards, motorbikes, and cooking (I invented the Beefer Reefer).

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