you know the situation, you’re sitting at home brushing your suede jackets down from last nights dogging session and after exactly 12 brushes the suede genie pops out to grant you 3 wishes.

There are rules on how to use them:

1 wish must be an entirely selfish wish.
1 wish must be about a skill on a bike.
the last wish can be whatever you want.

you cannot wish for more wishes, if you try the suede genie will damn you to an eternity of having TJ, elfin and the rest of the crews posts read to you by voices inside your head you cant get rid of.

I wish I could be taller, thinner and generally more attractive until the end of my days

I wish I could do powered manuals over roots and rocks on uphill climbs

I wish I had an obscene amount of money (say Euromillions jackpot stylee) which I could then spend on friends and family as well as me and t’hubby.

1. selfish – win euromillions 120 million rollover
2. bike – be able to do unlimited wheelie
3. aob – an age of enlightenment that solved religous/resource confilcts and protected the environment all in one go.

1) I’d wish for everyone to be happy.
2) Mad jumping skillz

I don’t need a third… I’d already be happy. Infact, I don’t really need the 2nd as I’d already be happy.

Actually, I’m already happy. Does someone else want my wishes?

There’s a suede jacket GENIE! *dreams* 😀

I’d like my hair back please. It’s been missing for some time now. 🙁
I’d like to be able to do really awesome bunny hops on flat pedals.
I’d like enough money to not have to work in an office with a numpty boss and go ride my bike in the mountains every day instead.

Simple needs me.

I wish I could always be at peace with myself and whatever life throws at me.

I wish I could still wheelie like I could when I was a lad.

I wish everyone on the planet was educated to at least a basic standard, and capable of independent critical thought.

Ahhh… right… I’m the genie, aren’t I? That’s why it doesn’t really work for me.

I wish I wasn’t stuck in this f-ing lamp the whole time.

Selfish – I would like bigger boobs
Bike – I would like to the be able to go really fast down hills and jump really high over any bumps or drop offs on such hills
Last – I would like to have a load of money so I can have a really big house, take all my friends on holiday and never have to work again

1) To be successful in everything I attempt to do (try and win euromillions – successful, try and get in properly good shape – successful etc) Is this cheating??

2) To be able to fettle with my bike and actually make it better (blast my gears) though i guess this is convered by 1

3) some thing for the good of the world?

I wish cars hadn’t been invented
See what happens from there!

i wish i did not have to work
i wish i could climb better
i wish my heart was mended.

I wish I lived in Dez’s car free world.

I’d then invent a motor powered vehicle, something that people can sit in and travel long distances giving them the freedom to choose their own routes etc.
I’d call it… I don’t know… Car seems quite catchy.

1 wish must be an entirely selfish wish. – Win the Lottery tomorrow.
1 wish must be about a skill on a bike. – Get bigger air with confidence
the last wish can be whatever you want. – Not telling. 😈

1: Wish I didn’t have to try to keep weight off, would be nice to be able to eat stuff I like without having to think about it being bad.

2: Simple one, I’d like to be able to ride just like Greg Minnaar.

3: Sidney’s age of enlightenment sounds pretty good to me.

1. I’d wish for more wishes so that the suede genie will damn me to an eternity of having TJ, elfin and the rest of the crews posts read to me by voices inside my head I cant get rid of.

A bit like real life then, really.

Ta mathew. Now back to work on enlightenment….

1. £100m in my account pronto
2. Riding skill like Cedric Gracia and Cancellara’s fitness
3. Nothing else required

I’d then invent a motor powered vehicle, something that people can sit in and travel long distances giving them the freedom to choose their own routes etc

You’ve destroyed my world man!!!

Selfish: I wish I was on much better terms with the suede genie.

Bike: I wish I could ride whenever I wanted with no risk of injury.

Final: I wish there could be just one long post on STW on a topical matter in which all the usual suspects engaged in thoughtful, courteous debate, and listened and evaluated the various points of view in their own right without resorting to petty insults. With proper sentences and no spelling errors. I reckon that’s the hardest one!

1. buckets of money, obv.
2. skillz of Gee Atherton + Thomas Vanderham
3. a time machine

Skillz of Rachel Atherton would do me 🙂

Can i wish for everything good? Think that should just about cover the 3 or them! 😀

+1 she is pretty handy by all accounts 🙂

Big pile of money
Riding god obviously
Benign alien overlord to force positive change on humanity.

Bike – I’d like to be completely injury free all the time, I quite enjoy practiceing/progressing but the inevitable bails hurt!

Selfish – epic levels of musical tallent, much as I’d like to win £166million I’d still like a career, and lests face it who doesn’t want to be a rock star?

Lastly – Better climate for the UK, mid december to mid Febuary snow, and lots of it, then April – October to be just Sunny with overnight rain to keep the farmers in business.

1) To have any woman I wanted, without strings or repercussions.
2) To have the strength and courage to ride north shore / freeride stuff with speed, confidence and style.
3) To have just enough money on my pocket for ANYTHING I ever wanted to buy.

I hope we don’t all get these wishes, £150 mill for everyone and we’d all need more!

1) All my debt wiped out instantly
2) The ability to be more confident not to use back brakes as much going down hills
3) For my contract at work to go on after September of this year!

1 wish must be an entirely selfish wish. – to be physically awesome (not in pain, no genetic problems, strong healthy muscles, not injure myself etc) until i’m old enough to die peacefully in my sleep after an amazing day

1 wish must be about a skill on a bike. – i like the buzz of learning new things, so if coupled with my physical wish of not getting hurt above then i’d wish for the mental balls to attack whatever’s in front of me on the bike and get back on when it doesn’t work 😀

the last wish can be whatever you want. – pet dino-shark

1. selfish – A guaranteed income for the rest of my life.
2. bike – perfect balance.
3. WIW – for greed to be absent in all humans.

Queen’s wealth
Barel’s skill
Eleven inch c*ck (I can’t afford the shortening operation)

1. For me, family and friends to live long healthy lives, no injuries, no illness or diseases etc.

2. Skill and style of Steve Romaniuk (maybe some fitness required here too).

3. Have an involving job that I’m excited about – failing that a Lotto win

Selfish – I would like bigger boobs

I’d hardly call that selfish!

Oh just thought of another one – to end my days when I’m 107 through being beaten up by the jealous husband of a beautiful model.

mrs consequences I’m not sure that asking for bigger boobs is entirely selfish but good effort anyway

1, Be the absolute world best at what ever I want to do.

2, Covered by wish number one.

3, I’ll have to think about that one a lot more I think.

1. The Mr Consequence awesomeness deal, as detailed above.

2. To actively enjoy getting lost. I used to love it, now I just worry.

3. That my parents had been younger when they met.

Selfish; I’d like a nice house in the countryside well away from scrotes. In fact, I’d like there to be no scrotes.

Bike; toss-up between being stronger and fitter so that I can keep up with people better, and being able to manual / bunny-hop confidently and consistently.

Anything; lets get rid of that global warming thing, hey?

Ok, I’ll play, I’m bored.
🙂

1st: Enough money to make wish three a success.

2nd: Tough one this. Go along the iDave route, high level of fitness without having to train for it and without shortening my 1000 year lifespan. (see what I did there ?)

3rd: Setup an organisation to provide shelter for the homeless, employ people to run said organisation and generally get everyone a roof, a bed and a meal.
Part of wish three is that the organisation is successful enough that I can expand to microsoft proportions in order to provide other forms of help to others.