A face like a melted wellie,
A fanny like a bear-trapper's hat,
But I still banged her like a sh*thouse door on a windy night.
Chat Forum
Your Favourite/Funniest Similies
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Posted 5 months ago #
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As fooked as a gypsy's pram!
Posted 5 months ago # -
As much use as a lighthouse on Argyle Street
Posted 5 months ago # -
Looks as inviting as a bucket o clunge.
Posted 5 months ago # -
"Got a look of a dog that's just been shown a card trick"
Bill Hicks
Posted 5 months ago # -
She had a face like a cold scrotum...
And a fanny like a bucket of slugs.
But guess what...
Posted 5 months ago # -
She's your mum so you still love her?
Posted 5 months ago # -
Posted 5 months ago # -
Hell she is fiiine. By the time I'd finished with her she'd look like a pasterers radio.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Yep, finished up with a face like a bill-poster's bucket.
Thanks mum
Posted 5 months ago # -
Ive just been out for a ride 'bit parky innit' it was hard work 'im absolutely cattle trucked'. Got covered 'in more shite than a pigs arse'.
Posted 5 months ago # -
I should know more of these but I'm having a memory blank. We did have a teacher at school who would say something along the lines of "Jesus Darcy, a dog with a mallet up its arse would do a better job than that".
Posted 5 months ago # -
wetter than an otters pocket
Posted 5 months ago # -
If he fell in a bucket of tits, he'd come up sucking his thumb; for the less lucky among us.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Sweating like a paedophile outside gym class is my favourite...
Posted 5 months ago # -
As an exclamation, nothing beats 'Jesus Christ in a Nissan Sunny!!'
As in 'Jesus Christ in a Nissan Sunny!!' would you look at the size of that footprint on my car.....
Posted 5 months ago # -
As much use as a chocolate teapot
Shaking like a dog sh177ing peach stones
F*cked as a Christian Scientist with appendicitis
Ugly as a blind cobbler's thumb
Posted 5 months ago # -
About as useful as a cock flavored lollypop. (from Dodgeball).
Posted 5 months ago # -
Wrinklier than an elephant's bawsack
Posted 5 months ago # -
a face like yoda's scrotum
this beer is like sex in a canoe......fkin close to water
Posted 5 months ago # -
She had a sausage wallet like a wizards sleeve.. it was like chucking a chipolata up the chunnel..
Posted 5 months ago # -
- Like throwing a frankfurter down Oxford Street
- As badly spelled as a STW postPosted 5 months ago # -
a fanny baggier than a monks cowl
and
damper than an otters pocket
Posted 5 months ago # -
Always been a fan of Surly's
Crawls through mud like a pig on crack
Posted 5 months ago # -
Face like a blind welders bench.
Uglier that a hatfull of monkeys arseholes.
Miserable? Wouldn't give a door a bang.
Sweating like a fat girl in a cake shop.
Posted 5 months ago #
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