I seem to have a mental tic and invent rubbish portmanteaus at an alarming rate.

Today’s was

‘Strongled’

v – to be strangled by a thong*

Mrs Rider titles my seemingly endless moronic mangling of words – ‘shortmanteaus’. I told her I am 5′ 9 3/4″. She says quibbling about fractions seems insecure. I digress..

So, what are your favourite portmanteaus?**

* not sure if ‘strongled’ even is a portmanteau as it’s forced into the middle rather than on the ends. A thwartmanteau?

PS Was sadly not prompted by such an experience. It just came to me while walking the dog and getting whipped by a bramble and I said ‘I’m being strongled’ purely by mistake. Honest.

**Disclaimer, in sharing here you surrender unto me complete license to use them for commercial and other scurrilous purposes.

PPS please do NOT mention the B-word. Worst portmanteau of all time ever. Unlike ‘Snoovie. Which is mine. It means those slightly rubbish movies that you choose to view simply to nap along to. Snooze+movie.

Victrionics. The act of being a bad winner, and over celebrating to the point of being a bad sport.

‘Gription’ (or lack thereof) ‘Grip/Traction’

Damn those are both good 😀

esselgruntfuttock – Member
‘Gription’ (or lack thereof) ‘Grip/Traction’

Rather like the word used in the early days of bike suspension – Stiction.

Nicked from Jim’ll Paint It today – Coronation Street Fighter 2

Ambivalence: An emergency vehicle not showing the haste expected of it…

Only problem is it is actually a work in it’s own right…

Prossibly.

Rather like the word used in the early days of bike suspension – Stiction.

Yes! I remember that with my Rock Shox Judy’s!

Victrionics

Oh, well played sir! (Makes note of that one…)

Should add that it was Mrs CFH who first coined the word, as far as I know,

“Countryside”

😆 8) 😯

Stwpid

Pupture – That incredibly painful wound you get on the inside of your nostril when an over exuberant puppy accidentally catches you with one of her tiny, needle sharp teeth

Puncture – a portrait of John Lydon

Iaincident – What the nearest hospital declares every time a certain STW’er falls off his bike. Again.

Gincident.

We’ve all had one.

Bincident – Half price sale at Greggs

Flashmob – Half price sale at the orthopaedic shoe shop

Not mine, but Stravarsehole.

Malamanteau
https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/739:_Malamanteau

I’ve just had a neologasm.

Twunt – reserved for “special” colleagues

Wrongevity.
Can’t decide whether it means a single wrong with a lasting effect or a commitment to being incorrect.

perchypanther – Member
Flashmob – Half price sale at the orthopaedic shoe shop

Bravo – another peach from perchy!!

Floordrobe, where my wife stores her clothes !
Warfloordrobe, when I get annoyed about it

The Triwizard Cup.