Parcel Farce

Lived near Usk for a while and ordered a tent to be delivered, shop in Brecon said it would be there next day, next day arrived no tent, phoned shop to check they had sent it, no problem. Next day no tent, mmmmm phoned Parcel Farce in Newport, should have had it sir, we have a docket with your signature. Nope I say not signed for it neither had the neighbours basically I didnt have any. About 4 hrs later I get a call from depot manager sorry sir your package will be delivered tomorrow before 9, what was the problem I ask? The driver on the route couldnt find my house so signed the docket and hidden the parcel in his house along with about 50 other items, it was only when loads of people complained from the area they questioned the driver and he fessed up.

Contador 2009 Tour, caught doping.

I ordered a 32" LCD from Amazon and was called about the delivery. I said I wouldn't be in the day they were going to deliver, but could be in the following day. The guy in the call centre said they'd rather deliver it on the first date – could they just leave it outside round the back?!

Yes, a TV. Outside. In the rain. Where scallies could pinch it.

Royal Mail. Lost some post, asked me to send packaging, lost that. Gave up and refunded me 100%.

on going arguement with NTL, who twice sent the bailiffs round to collect -£87. To be fair to the bailiffs, they found it quite funny once I'd explained, and I'd suggested I'd take cash, or if they've got a nice TV in their van that'd do…

The real winner is the guy from TV licensing who knock on the door and asks if I have a TV license. Its 10 am, I got in from the night shift at 8am, Im not at my best, but i confess that I don't know if I have a TV license as my housemate sorted all the bills, but if i didn't I was happy to get one there and then. TV Licensing guy says he'll ring his office and check for me. 5 mins of standing on the door step in my boxers, yup, you've got a tv license. Cue some swearing from me along the lines of "you got me out of bed to tell me that I've a got a TV license already? Thanks."

Pigface – I was born in Usk.

Royal Mail – small package to deliver, but no-one home.

Too big for letterbox.

Can't be arsed taking it back to the delivery office and leaving a card.

Hmmmm, where to leave it where it'll be dry and no-one passing will see it?

The wheelie bin of course.

The day before bin collection.

Genius.

I live in the British Virgin Islands, I see epic displays of Incompetence every day, multiple times.

The best one this week.

Motorbikes over 125cc are Illegal. There's always a few around that get stolen in Peurto Rico and get smuggled over here. Last week the Police seized a 600cc Suzuki. The bikes are stored in a central courtyard at the Police Station, prior to them being crushed. On Saturday night, 3 masked men broke into the Police station, snuck past the officers on duty and then stole (or possibly reclaimed) the bike. To get it out they had to lift it over a wall!

The whole thing was caught on CCTV.

enjoy

A fresh graduate with a 1st in computer studies who'd only ever done Java programming but was required to write some C++. He needed to read a nibble from an interface, so he called fread() with a floating point length of 0.5 bytes :o) [programmer funny]

GEEK!!!

Get thee away from this forum!

My Postman- cannot count. we live in 1 the old lodge and constantly get post for next door. We put up a big number 1 and we still get the wrong post.

Autoglass- complete muppets!!! Have taken three months and counting to deliver a part.

Gourmet Burger Company Westfield- Busy saturday night and we go to order and they tell us they have run out of burger rolls!

Extract from a 3rd year geography undergraduate's essay:

"Countries like Africa experience major development problems…"

I used to work for a Bank that ran out of….erm…money, the consequences of which meant economic disaster for the UK.

Gosh that was like, sooooooo embarrassing.

A place I used to work at was in the middle of a long and faultering process of getting all its computers networks and online (this was late 90's so it was all a bit novel). It had been a half arse affair for a while, so we'd decided to call a local IT contractor in to just get the whole thing rationalised and operational. The IT guy had turned up just as we we're opening up in the morning so we pointed him to the first of the computers and left him to it as we sat and had our usual coffee/gossip/start of day meeting. There had been a documentary about fakes and impersonators on the tv the night before, people who pretend to be paramedics, that guy who pretended to be Stanley Kubrick so that he could get the best tables in restaurants without anyone bothering him because he was a renowned recluse. We we're chatting quite high spiritedly about that and other anecdotes about people who weren't they made themselves out to be.

All the time the IT guy is sitting side on to us at the other end of the room, studious face, occasional taps on the keyboard.

We realise we've been gassing for too long, nearly an hour, so we start to get ourselves together and head upstairs to the office."We'll leave you too it, just call us when you're done there" we call out as we leave

"Erm…. excuse me" the IT guy calls after us "How do you switch this on?"

I used to work for a Bank that ran out of….erm…money

Did they forget to order more?

Ah it was called Blind Terror: http://www.diaryofamountainbiker.com/2003_september.php

I claim the win on this one….
Cable company lays a main 'arterial' cable under our road…..
In laying said cable all houses on the road were fitted with 'cable tv' access points by the front gate….

Did anyone take the spurs off the cable to connect us to the system…
Erm, no………….