Your experiences appreciated

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  • Your experiences appreciated
  • Hi guys
    Just wondered if anyone has experience of their partners / wife havng an affair?
    The b1tch of a wife said that she was having an affair 3 weeks ago and she has said that she is still seeing him until we sell the house and split up -To say that I am cut up is an under statement. Just wondered whether anyone else has had similar experiences and how you got over it. Just looking for some moral support!

    duntmatter
    Member

    change the locks?

    racing_ralph
    Member

    patio, paving slabs, meat cleaver

    Lanesra

    Divorce her and name him then the **** has to pay your costs.

    Failing that khitc

    zaskar
    Member

    I feel sorry for you chainbreakerdave.

    Personally as shattered as I would be, I could never take her back.

    Get the money into your accounts asap.

    Go see a divorce laywer on Monday!

    I think she has already done her reserach and has made plans.

    Don’t talk to her about your actions or do anything stupid.

    Seek legal advice asap.

    Go see friends and ride a bike but don’t confront or grovel or question.

    Give yourself a time period to grief, recover and set new goals. Just don’t take too long.

    Keep your self esteem high and love yourself-right a list of things great about you to give yourself a boost. Look in the mirrior and say you’re great is one technique a female friend used when she divorced her cheating husband.

    Don’t stay inside. Go out, enjoy fresh air, see a good lawyer for advice and prepare for $hit and live to enjoy the days.

    Stay strong bud.

    alpin
    Member

    nasty. not a lot we can say to make you feel miles better. i hope there are no kids involved for your sake and theirs.

    had an old GF cheat on me once. i pissed in her mouth when she went down on me. i was 16 at the time so can be forgiven for my childish actions.

    don’t make her aware of what you intend to do.

    can you move your money and ‘hide’ it from lawyers. loans to family? i’d also damage anything that she wants just to spite her. don’t make it obvious mind. just a few nuts and bolts so that it’ll fail whilst she’s using it. or yank wires out of electrical items she wants/are hers and stick them back in with a bit of glue. obviously that comes nearer the time of the big D. just make her life shit. let her tyres down on her motor. one at the front and the opposite side on the rear. or better if you follow her when she meets this arse and do it then. phone her mobile people and tell them the phone has been stolen. it’ll be stopped.

    2hottie
    Member

    gutted this sounds like what my so called mother is doing to my very nice, loyal and TRUST-worthy step dad. Very wrong. The only thing you can do is cover your own ass!!!! It’s a shame that this happens,

    Look after yourself and make sure you don’t get fecked over!

    I agree with Zaskar, totally to the point! However Alpin, I’m sorry but you’re WRONG! It may well seem they’ll make you feel better now but they WILL hurt the process in the long run. Miss 2hottie has many dealings is in the 5-0 and she sees this all the time. Make yourself seem the complete victim therefore bettering your chances in court. DO not act like a twunt!!!! It will do you no favours!!!!
    The last thing you need is her going to the Police about harassement! Whatever you do don’t move out!!!

    good luck

    an all the best

    2hottie and his lovely informative misses!

    TandemJeremy
    Member

    Zaskar is right.
    Get her out of the house immediately. If he wont go create scenes until she does scream shout get drunk wreck the bed etc.

    dont smash up her stuff tho – puts you in the wrong but she is in the wrong – she gets out of the house. Empty any joint accounts and stop any joint cards. You have to protect yourself and your money.

    GW
    Member

    Lanesra – Member
    Divorce her and name him then the **** has to pay your costs.

    is that true 😯

    😳

    Lanesra

    Yes, you have to petition within six-months of learning about the adultery naming your partner and his/her bit on the side as a co-respondent

    I’m drunk and can’t write, so here’s an explanation from t’internet

    http://www.terry.co.uk/divorce2.html

    *edit* To the OP I’d go straight to a solicitor and start proceedings asap and take advice on what to do with money/mortgage etc Do not cut her money supply off completely as much depends on your circumstances (how long together, money put into the house, kids etc)you should look to be seen as being the good/reasonable guy

    djglover
    Member

    break contact right now. I’ve been there, its not worth kidding yourself. When I found out about my ex, I moved out the next day. Saddled her with some right bills but I found it hard to sympathise when she asked for the money.

    colnagokid
    Member

    Been there Chainbreaker, would agree with the comment about getting legal advice/taking action asap- if shes suggesting waiting (for what ever reason she says) it’ll be for her benefit not yours mate!
    Most important of all, keep your dignity, be strong and look after yourself.
    Good luck and take care.

    Premier Icon NZCol
    Subscriber

    All i will say is look after yourself esp financially. Go and see a decent lawyer on Monday and do not pass Go or collect $200. Seriously, trying to be ‘decent’ generally only ends in one way.
    Its clear she has made her mind up and is using you as a vehicle to get what she wants. Don;t fall for that one. That is ‘having your cake, eating it and shoving it right in your face to make you feel like a right ****’
    I’d also recommend making sure that she can;t financially enialate you. And get her out the house. But speak to a lawyer. I did before I actually had it confirmed but was deeply deeply suspicious – i knew where i stood and it made life a lot less stressful. Good luck, its arse but consider yourself slightly lucky in some ways.

    woffle
    Member

    I’d echo the above – look after yourself and get selfish. I’d get yourself armed with as much advice as you can afford – you want to make sure you’re all safe and sound financially. Then get her out of the house and your life then speak to a solicitor about starting divorce proceedings.

    I take there aren’t kids involved?

    Not been there myself (AFAIK, touch wood) but had a close friend go through something similar. Not only did she rip his heart out she also managed to rip the heart out of his bank accounts too.

    Good luck

    markenduro
    Member

    As said already, get the finances in order, go seek advice and hand over what is rightfully hers and no more. No matter how pissed off you feel, DO NOT DAMAGE ANYTHING OF HERS, that is just madness and will lead to grief later on. Go see your mates, this is when you’ll find out who the real ones are.

    Nobody else has asked yet so I had better do it – Does she have a sister?

    Premier Icon jimmy
    Subscriber

    sorry but;

    i pissed in her mouth when she went down on me

    pffffffft, brill. especially from a 16 year old. kinky bastid. I mean…

    Munqe-chick
    Member

    This has just happened to a very good friend of mine with 2 small children. They packed all their stuff up moved abroad for a few years and then the day they arrived at their “new place” she found out about the affair! You need your friends around to support you and take you out on fun days, get riding, book an MTB holiday with friends.

    Whatever you do don’t get pi***ed and turn up at her house or call her.

    You WILL get over it but it will take time. My mate was feeling better by about August (then she got hit with the fact she had cancer .. but she’s clear now and dealt with that). A year down the line she is incredibly happy, finding it hard with 2 small children. But remember you will recover from this and bounce back bigger and harder, you just need support from family and friends.

    Oh and get her out of the house .. you cannot go on living together with the current situation!!

    Good luck we know you can pull through just get out and do some stuff that you’ve wanted to do for ages but she didn’t want you to! Keep us all posted.

    hora
    Member

    OP. All the best. My first thought would be to see if a relationship is worth saving however it sounds like shes made up her mind and is bitter? I would suggest BOTH of you move out, rent out the house for 6months and then put it on to the market (considering the state of the current housing market). Neither of you should stay in the house as it wont be seen as a compromise and one of the parties could see it as an angle to keep the house in some bizarre way. Both agree, move out and move on.
    If your other half had admitted an affair and was troubled by it I would see it as a glimmer, a chance of reconciliation. Try and compromise/come to an agreement now. ..but as above name him in the grounds for a divorce. It should strengthen your case.
    TBH I wouldnt spend too much of your time being angry, worried, upset by what she has done. She doesnt sound worth it if thats the way she decided to end a marriage. Crass.

    Thanks for all the advice.
    Unfortunately there are children involved. I have seena solicitor and she has given me some great advice and i am getting my finances sorted. I know it will take time to heal the wounds. I am sure that there are better women out there and I am better off without her.
    Cheers
    D

    MrNutt
    Member

    shit dave thats harsh, I wish you well mate, don’t give her anything.

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