You receive junk mail offering funeral plans from Age Concern. I’m not 50 yet…

There’s no age restrictions on death.

I call dibbs on his bike!

I call Dibbs on his bike!

Give the guy a break, he’s only just got back on it!

But I thought you only got the likes of SAGA from the age of 50.

I’ll start to worry when I’m tempted by some of the items in the aids to living catalogues…

Depends who signed you up.

Did the junk mail come with a free Parker pen? If not, I’d go with Parky’s lot.

You receive junk mail offering funeral plans

Now I’m really worried as they stopped sending me those offers a good while ago!!

There’s no age restrictions on death.

Well, that wasn’t news I was hoping to hear!! 😀

You watch porn and think that the bed looks so comfy…

You watch porn and think I bet that room was a bugger to paint!

Or when you bend down you think what else cn I do whilst I am down here!

I got a stairlift ad in the targeted adverts on facebook – was quite shocked (being a mere 41), but then read it and realised it was suggesting I buy on for my mum. As she was riding a motorbike over the himalayas ay the time I thought she probably wasn’t interested . .

You start worrying about the hangover before you start drinking.

You can’t sit down without making a sort of ‘oooooh’ noise.

You avoid certain bars or pubs solely on the basis of the state of the toilets.

That’s just a few.

I got home early from work, a lovely bright and dry spring evening with dusty trails beckoning and thought “I could give the lawn it’s first cut…..” 😳

All those sodding cards with 50 on that arrived today!

Happy Birthday Matt!

When you can get your Senior railcard & use it!

Happy Half Century Matt.
Beat me by just under a year – suddenly feel all young and sprightly.

When you can get your Senior railcard

I was given one of these for my birthday last Sunday

[Ahem]Grey pubes! Grey pubes… [/Ahem]

you’re older than the prime minister!!!

When you’re shopping in Tesco and you prefer mum over daughter !!!

yoof’s in the street call you “sir” when asking if you can spare them a fag