http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/portsmouth/article7015876.ece

He phoned me to warn me about the publication and my response was ‘Yes, and?’ ”

“He needs a massage not from one woman but two. Morning and night. He’s a great manager with amazing potential who is stuck in a s****y team.

and the clincher

“You men need it,”

As ever, the Dailymash sums it up better than most….

Linky

It's enough to make drink your own piss.

She's a cup-cake

in interesting criterion for perfection, though I note her sympathy for the women who have to render the services…

Probably wont be kissing her anytime soon though…

As befits a woman famous for drinking her urine and bathing in liquid chocolate and spaghetti live on television

eh..?
If that's your perfect wife, you must wake up to some interesting sights