Just this morning I've been chatting to a lady from the office next door. They had xmas night out last night - turns out she ended up joy riding a golf buggy around the site at 1am. Good effort.
Xmas work doo antics.....
Ok, so working from the other end as I have been the venue of many a Xmas party here goes for a top ten of what me and my various teams down the years have had to deal with...
10 - toilet roll fights
9 - beer fights
8 - food fights
7 - piss fights - just the boys on this one
6 - broken toilets and sinks, generally used as staging posts for sex
5 - in flagrante, blowjobs, sometimes in full view of the function room
4 - in flagrante, full penetration, just out of full view, like under the table
3 - in flagrante, threesomes - not in full view, yet
2 - huge punch ups
1 - and a Stabbing in a pear tree, well not really but in the car park.
I am not a fan of Xmas party nights as such and no longer work at the above venue. Thankfully.
I have lived such a sheltered existence.
I hate them. All of the moany negative staff get shiters and go ooooon and ooooon about how this is crap and how that is crap. If I'm drinking; I don't want to talk about work. Normally some boring activity organised by the unadventurous admin staff which nobody wants to do.
Went to the wifes one year and some arsehole make a remark about MrsW's boobs, so I invited him to continue the conversation outside. Luckily he declined but her invitation no longer says "+1" which I'm very happy about.
I miss the Army Xmas do's; they were epic! One included a normally mild mannered lance jack banging the OC clean out. Another ended in a local "lady" doing rounds of the lines. I wouldn't want to put a number on the amount of times she got backscuttled that night.
7 years ago at the Xmas party some random bird from another department jumped me and we had a bit of a snog. We've been married a year now.
Last year I missed the last train and with nowhere to stay I stayed out, then missed the first train and eventually made it home at 11am the next day. One of my colleagues ended up in hospital but I didn't notice at the time.
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