My neighbour washes his car or cars pretty much every day. Normally I couldn’t give two poops but he’s washed it today and it’s 3 degrees outside and due to freeze tonight. The problem is his house is up the slope from mine and he washes the car on the pavement area. All the water has run down in front of my drive and is going to freeze.
Normally I’d do the English thing, tut and moan about it to the wife. But the year I’ve had I’m quite an angry man so went and had a moan.
His response was that there is frost on the pavement already so him washing the car won’t make any difference.

Should I sneak round and wee in his shoes? Dog poo on the car door handle? Dog poo in his shoes and wee on his door handle?

Hoof him in the swirl flaps.

Just put some salt down

Just put some salt down

….and make sure you get plenty all over his car while you do it

Throw lots of bread soaked in chip fat on his car, along with conflakes, a well known way of escalating neighbour disputes, but oh so good on youtube as scene from alfred Hitchcoks THE BIRDS is re filmed.

Dry bread is bad for birds as it swells, chip fat oil helps them digest it and gives them energy and vanilla poohs, a good reason to wash your car. DOH. also a squirt of wd 40 on the windscreen also stops the windscreen freezing but does make th wipers skid abit and smear

Just put some salt down

….and make sure you get plenty all over his car

+1 😈

Liberally pour water over his drive so he can see that it’s ‘just the same as frost’….

Yep water his drive

Burn his house down

What if I water his drive so it freezes, wee in his shoes and then set fire to his house? When he tries to escape the fire he will fall over on his “frost”

Then that, Sir, is the scene out of home alone that you’re aiming for!

Buy ice skates

Salt yours.
Go slowly water his end of the street with a watering can at 11pm

I believe the correct response is to hammer frozen sausages into his lawn. The local fauna should do the rest, especially at this time of year.

Bored of the holidays already op ?

Now you see how the retired always moan about things 🙂

Wait till it freezes, chip it off the pavement and put it in your freezer as evidence

Set up a sprinkler…

[url=https://flic.kr/p/QF7kNc]Untitled[/url] by pten2106, on Flickr