Ta – Edinburgh vernacular.

2b.

Fantasise about lots of bikes, then sigh and have a beer and smile.

I’d class that as verbal handbags.

Having looked at their Facebook page lots of union flags posted on or near their shop would wind the up without being linked to cyclists seeing as they claim to be “Edinburgh’s only 100% yes cafe” 😀

10 of you turn up with bikes, sit down and take ages to order the cheapest thing on the menu and consume over an hour or 2…

Would be some karma if the place got some kind of infestation and was then reported to the council wouldn’t it 😈

Stupidity needs to be dealt with strongly and decisively to prevent further stupidity in the future 8)

mikewsmith – Member
10 of you turn up with bikes, sit down and take ages to order the cheapest thing on the menu and consume over an hour or 2..

Pretty much my thoughts, but you forgot about the farting competition just inside the doorway.

🙂

Realistically I would go with “get over it”

Although an endless supply of scrap bikes locked to the sign would be pretty funny.

Quite surprised you would consider going to the police over an argument though.

nealglover – Member
Quite surprised you would consider going to the police over an argument though.

Intimidation/threat of violence – I take reasonably seriously, tho I know the Police can do no more than visit, and these scum won’t care.

2 for sure, wouldn’t spend more than a few minutes fake-raging over this let alone a few months enacting some silly revenge fantasy 🙄

Before i make my decision on how this shop owner ‘scum’ should be punished, i need a few more details.

Were you using this cafe for food/drink or was it just somewhere to lock your bike while you went elsewhere?

What exactly is ‘mild violence’ in this scenario? Soft punches/gentle kicks or firm punches/kicks but wearing padded shoes and gloves? Tickling but using firm fingers (AKA the Tiny Punch technique). Sticky tape to the hairy part of the forearm ripped off quickly? Flicking of the earlobe?

Depending on the answers to the above the punishment could range from ‘wind yer neck in and stop obstructing the entrance to his business’ to ‘kill him and all his bloodline’. Obviously, you’d not be letting the police know either way.

Not all streets in Towns/cities have that law so would be worth checking, if it’s not included then I’d lock my bike every day and he cannot do anything.
If it is in the area the council/Police will come and get it, and they will charge you stupid amounts to get it back

Is there not space for all three? Although I would probably use the non-emergency number to report it as an incident. You never know, last week/next week he might have been having the same argument with an off duty chief constable… Not going to have happened, is it…

Suitable donor bike found already!

So do I lock it or work out a way of loctite & bolting it to the signpost?

Intimidation/threat of violence – I take reasonably seriously

I would too. But you described it as “mild” in your op.

I presumed it was a pretty half hearted non event to be described like that.

Would need more detail before making the “kill them all” or “get over it” decision.

So do I lock it or work out a way of loctite & bolting it to the signpost?

get mc to weld it there?

“it’d be a shame if your bike got damaged…it’d be a shame if you lost your teeth…why don’t you **** off”

E: Put up a fake Planning Notice on the sign stating new bike racks to be installed on pavement outside said cafe, backdate it a few weeks so the time for objections is almost up. Then post them a letter a few days later saying approved 🙂

Just boycott the cafe and advise everyone you know to boycott it too.

If he was an arse to you with so little provocation, he’s probably been an arse to other people as well, so will hopefully end up with no customers.

Heh check out Tripadvisor.

Also someones locked a bike outside the cafe.

Picture? 🙂

Hahaha! Just seen the Trip Advisor review. Good stuff, horrible b**tard! Think some of “dirtier” suggestions are a bit much but surely a load of old scrap bikes & cheap locks before opening time would be classic!

Surely a rusty old bike clamped outside but have the bike rebranded. Lets say for argument sake the bike is a giant then i think the model should be displayed on the downtube as per normal and it shall be known as shitcafe. I think Giant Shitcafe is a great name for a bike!

I think Giant Shitcafe is a great name for a bike!

Like your style!
Perhaps something a bit more subliminal? Giant Gastroenteritis?

Also someones locked a bike outside the cafe.

I think Giant Shitcafe is a great name for a bike!

Like your style!
Perhaps something a bit more subliminal? Giant Gastroenteritis?

Is that the MY2016 lightweight race bike?

What exactly is ‘mild violence’ in this scenario? Soft punches/gentle kicks or firm punches/kicks but wearing padded shoes and gloves? Tickling but using firm fingers (AKA the Tiny Punch technique). Sticky tape to the hairy part of the forearm ripped off quickly? Flicking of the earlobe?

Not mild violence at all….

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRPrrLdPhoE[/video]

I the person who left the bike would prefer the bike to look like it’s genuine in case the scum dispose of it.

It’s locked with a steel band and a loctited M6 nut and bolt with the flats chamfered off!

Hahaha! Did the, erm …person who left the bike get a photo?! Surely a post on TA along the lines of tried to get in but didn’t bother due to the scrap bikes cluttering up the street would rub it in nicely….

Not mild violence at all….

Haha, someone well versed in the art Flik-Lobo.

He may have. He may prefer to leave winding up for a while though.

2. Get over it.

I wonder if more people should have backed this one…..