Sitting drinking, lagunitas ale, you tube`ing old iggy pop
give me some good old drunk, doing stupid, evil things storys !

I remember, ehhhhhh, being told, that one night, i sat with a
couple a friends, and good music was on, drinking, more talk,
i was havin a tight relationship with a bottle of brandy (torres)
i was told, that within a 1.5 hour i downed it …..
after teasing my little brother, who actually is bigger than me
(bummer) i decide, what the heck and sucker-jumped him, it whent
pretty much downhill, i was body-slammed, by the slacker, next thing
i remember i being “put to bed”, totally wacked, off my so-called
friends head to town, i stay in bed hallucinating, sleeping, and
woke up next morning, to realize i puked all over the one side of my
bed, where i had a stack of public library placed, i dont have
to mention the looks, i got when i discreetly delivered the smelly
books at the counter at the library… ohh dear

This is pure poetry.

🙂

I have VERY hazy recollections of a New Year’s Eve in a little town in Norway, a bottle of home-brewed spirit, someone else’s wife, and lots and lots of shoes, for some reason. Maybe trying to find mine in a pile of other’s shoes or something.

I don’t want to remember the next day.

Woke up in bed with my brother in law snuggling/hugging me after 10 pints my beer goggles were not working.

Yes I checked I had my underwear on and my butt still a virgin but who undressed me…

Puked 2 mins later but not due to hangover.

I’ve never drank again-that was 14yrs ago. 😈

Waking up after a club night and afterparty with jeans on, but socks n undies somewhere else, twisted ankles, bruises, and a 9 hour blank. Various tales of my refreshed activities from those 9 hours still don’t even bring a flicker of memory back. 😯

LOL

Tequila nearly killed me.

I was working alongside the UN in Afghanistan as a remote medic. Having been up in the mountains for 2 months and reaching the end of my contract….and to wish my onward solo journey up the Khyber pass and into Pakistan…a farewell drink was organised.

Within the space of 2 hrs we’d downed over 20 tequilas,beer, Mr J Beam et others

The team with which I’d been working all vanished…and I found myself lying face down in one of Kabuls many sewage ditches at 5 am.

My passport and mobile phone had been stolen….and I was barely capable of standing.

I am told that I arrived back at the house ( this is in Kabul) by taxi!!!!

I didn’t know the address and still have no idea to this day how I got the taxi driver to the address….let alone getting a taxi anyway!…which is a seriously crazy thing to do.

I was woken at 6…in a terible state…Id followed through in my trousers and Kabul was spinning.

Upstairs….my room mate had splashed down, the american next door had trashed his room, and the Romanian doctor was going mental as he had just trodden barefoot in someones poo at the top of the stairs.

I was due to be flying a mission at 7am and spent the whole day in the back of a soviet mil 8 helicopter on all fours wretching like a cat with a furball….Id connected drips to both arms and was seriously ill for at least 3 days.

Tequila….no thanks!

Try (being soo pissed and being tricked into) drinking a mix of cider and piss and waking up with now eyebrows. Quality.

….ordering a pint of lager instead of a cask ale….
##shudders at the thought##

#1.
Got hammered on whiskey seven or so years ago at home in Deptford with a friend from school I hadn’t seen in years. Two hours later i’ve got on a bike, climbed a crane that’s positioned over a wharf in London’s yuppie quarter, and have deposited dung on captain flashheart’s yacht. True story.

#2.
Sat around at home in Deptford, drinking late at night. Decide to go out and have a drink at one of a few illicit shebeens. Walking along the high street,(which is actually just a bypass, not the actual high street), I get stomach cramps. Decide to jump over the wall to my left and take a crap . The other side of the wall is a drop of about ten feet into a pissy ditch, as I find out when my feet meet the ground later than I expected. Drop my drawers and do the business. Dogs barking. Run across an area of muddy wet grass towards the light,and try to climb fence. Hellhound snaps at my heels. Man with dog calls police, and I have to explain to them why I was there…

And that is just the tip of the iceberg. My missus reads this forum, and I value that relationship.

Woke up with the imprint of the anaglypta wallpaper embossed in my head after falling asleep on my knees in the bathroom. This was due to the actions of a colleague who had been spiking my lager with whisky for much of the night. Worse decision I made without help was to drink Malibu, white wine and Merrydown cider. I can’t recall the exact mix for this cocktail but it is served in a pint glass. It was years before I could smell coconut without gagging.

LOL! Some truly terrible tales of alcohol induced woe!

I had a reputation as a ‘puker’. I’d puke anywhere, without any warning. Pub/club floors, out of windows, on the Tube, on people’s carpets, in other peoples’ beds, ON other people, everywhere. Puked on a homeless person in a doorway, once. Din’t see them. They din’t wake up, fortunately for me. Poor sod.

Brother in law and myself went out with the collective Mrs’s, mother in law, and kids for a Mothers day meal, had a few drinkies and decided to hit the 12 year old malt when we got home, all I remember is being told to ‘go and put your head down for an hour’ by the mother in law (we were quite well pi$$ed by now, for pi$$ed read blotto!) all I remember is waking up for work at 6:00am the next morning.

Shaun (brother in law) had to be carried to the car, and was left on the couch, he also woke up the next morning.

Needless to say neither of us are allowed to forget it, the Mrs mentions it at every available chance.

Bloody women, will never let anything lie.

Brack is winning so far in my book!

I have used up a few of my nine lives drinking. Done the puke in bed thing.

Got arrested for streetsurfing in hicksville Australia, fell off a cliff trying to find somewhere to sleep – went about 20ft into a tree which I guess saved me, walked 5 miles home at 17 ‘cos I was too pissed to find the bus stop. Nowadays I hardly drink at all.

It does take a bit of beating i’ll admit.

Lucky sod got a flight in a mil 8 chopper!

As a ski instructor in Banff Canada i went out on the obligatory every night piss up, next morning woke up in a room covered in red wine, and so where the walls. Only thing in the whole house was a cat!!!!! Went outside realised i was nearly an hour away from where i started and when i finally got back the RCMP where waiting at my door as i had been reported missing!!!

Awesome times!

Nobody had admitted to waking up next to a ‘bird’ like this yet, but the night is young

[imghttp://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/armpit-woman.jpg[/img]

Bugger too much wine, ironic given the post

try again

After mixing punch with cash and carry booze in big plastic bins and then and drinking it out of the aluminum jugs you get in school dinner halls, I and two others woke up in the middle of and narrow country road,in the dip between two blind summits, on a moonless night, in the pouring rain, and might have been somewhere near Buxton

I also woke up once with a life size cardboard cutout of Maurine Lipman and the revolving sign off the top of the Walls Icecream Van Depot.

aged 19, i was a member of the lsc. we did not watch the football.
after a day on the beer, starting at 9am on a train to birmingham we finally arrived back in wakefield at 10.30pm.
we were met by about 30 barnsley fans. all hell broke loose, non of which i can remember, all of which was being monitored by the trnspoet police.
special magistrates court on sunday morning, 9 month for section 18, later dropped to actual bodily arm.
go out on a saturday morning and return 9 month later.
i don’t get drunk now ever.

i once **** a fox off while drunk?!

I also also once woke up, dressed as a fox, with a life size cardboard cutout of Maurine Lipman and the revolving sign off the top of the Walls Icecream Van Depot.

how bizzare!

Re ugly bird, once awoke in a room above sweaty pub in the gay bit of manchester. Me and my mate had pulled these two birds as a last resort and I got the short (and fat) straw. Ended up nailing her and in the morning still in my drunken haze reached over and thought I was cupping some boobage, nope, it was a roll of fat. One of many.

Was only 17 and had to do the walk of shame into work (Sainsbury’s) where everyone could remember what a dog I had pulled the night before.