After having two girls that were very sharp, affectionate and sociable as toddlers, we are beginning to worry about our son.
He has just turned 2, and we have taken him for an eye check up a few times now, only for him to be a bit cranky about letting the nurse look into his eyes.
She has tried on three occasions now, but he will not look at any of her toys, so that she can observe him.

In fact, she said she has never encountered a ‘normal’ child this hard to get the attention of, which is worrying.

He also goes to stay and play with a grandparent, and the nursery leader has raised a few subtle hints about his inability to interact with other kids.

I haven’t really been concerned about him until recently, we just thought he was slower than the girls because he is a boy. However, the internet being a dangerous place and all, we have now self-diagnosed (I know, I know) him as being potentially on the autism spectrum.

The symptoms that concern us are…
He likes to line his cars up in a big traffic jam, and gets upset if they are moved, but doesn’t really play with them.
He doesn’t like to make eye contact, but will do occasionally
He doesn’t like certain textures (won’t walk on sand / play with playdough, but loves playing with water)
He sometimes brings out little presents from the contents of his nappy to paint with (nice).
He sometimes likes to spin when listening to music, and his eyes move rather strangely to the side when doing this.
He likes to watch the credits on angry birds on the iPad (in fact, he navigates his way straight to them if he picks up the iPad, although we don’t tend to let him play on it too often).
He never waves or points or cries for help with things.
He has stopped trying to sing along with songs, and doesn’t do any actions anymore (he seemed more interested when he was 12 months).
He will only really play with his 2yr old cousin, no one else (this involves running up and down chasing each other and laughing uncontrollably).

Upto about 18 months, he has had a lot of loving attention, and he still does, but as he has seemed happy to play alone with jigsaws and cars, we have tended to give him a bit more of his own space over the last 6 months.

Needless to say, he now can’t escape from close family coming over to sing and dance with him every waking moment, and he does seem to be getting more responsive over the last few days (certainly a bit more eye contact, a few kisses, and a couple of decipherable words spoken).

We have seen the GP and are booked in to see a pediatrician. I suppose my question is, could these symptoms have been applicable to any of your kids, and did they seem to develop normally in any case?

Perhaps we are getting concerned over nothing, but would be interesting to hear other stories.

Orm

My kids, and pretty much all others I have known, have displayed odd tendencies in some part of their development. Its quite natural for you as a parent to be concerned about this. I’m sure if you asked your folks, they’d come out with a whole list of weird things you did as a kid at one point or another.

Kids go through phases, if you consider how rapidly they are growing physically and mentally especially when young, its not surprising that things get out of kilter occasionally. You’ve done exactly the right thing talking to your GP, and you’ll get much better professional advice than you will here.

Just wait till they hit their teens – then you’ll know what ‘normal’ isn’t.

Oh, and on the plus side, he’ll fit in fine here when he’s older 🙂

And you’re here to find professional advice as to where your son sits on the autistic spectrum? on a forum?

As a kid i was tested to death as my Daft mum was convinced after listening to silly fools in tescos or at the butchers that i was odd. And indeed i am! but not autistic or at least no more than any of us.
Ive worked with severely autistic kids and they’re all different but all remind us of ourselves in one way or another.
I really wouldnt get to preoccupied with labels, just love and cherish your wee man.

wish i was a parent so i could attempt to reassure you dude!

the spectrum is just that, a big old spectrum. sounds like you’re looking for autistic type behaviours and latching onto them.

he does seem to be getting more responsive over the last few days (certainly a bit more eye contact, a few kisses, and a couple of decipherable words spoken).

😀 this is good.

but yeah, i’m not a parent so am unable to offer you the reassurance you’re after, hopefully this will bump it up so some parents can…

Hi mate,

i work for the National Autistic Society and although I work with adults am happy to give you some personal advice and help off line: andrew.lewis@nas.org.uk.

Don’t be jumping to conclusions – it’s too early yet. You are right that the ‘symptoms’ you’ve described could be normal developmental behaviours, or could be something Autism like, its hard to tell at 2. You’ve done the right thing by talking to GP. Some info here: http://www.nas.org.uk or some good advice from the NAS helpline: 0808 800 4104

Phil you don’t have to be a parent to know anything about authism.

If you know your tings’; share them.

OP I don’t wish to sound judgemental but if it were my little fella my attitude would be: If he is? – he is!

I can’t help very much but I didn’t think a child could be diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum until they are older? It might be an idea looking at Makaton, as an extra way of communicating. It is designed for children with autism but wouldn’t do any harm either way.

speak to bigdaddy, my sister suspected her daughter of being autistic but she isn’t and came out her shell later on.
I think my sis was referred to the NAS as well and was really happy with the advice she gained.

Even if the little guy is autistic it is far from the end of the world, mum was only identified as being on the autism spectrum when she was in her late fifties, it didn’t stop her raising a family and having a very successful career

Big daddy!

😀

I take back my remark about requesting advice on this forum. (hangs head in shame)

Cheers guys. Phil, non-parental advice more than acceptable in my book!!

I’m not really looking for professional advice killwill, just venting really. It has been an emotional week.

I have worked with a few people who could be described as being on the spectrum, all of whom have been extremely interesting people, with quite obsessive interests in unusual stuff. Actually, I used to tease a friend of mine who liked all of his pens laid out in a neat line on his desk. I’d change the order they were arranged in just to see if he’d notice and would get riled. I feel a bit guilty now!

Obviously, it is in the extreme, but my main concern is seeing my adorable boy lacking the ability to be independent as an adult. I’m going to try not to think about it too much, and put his current quirks down to him having a daft father!

Cheers Bigdaddy, I’ll have a mooch, and may drop you a mail.
Very kind indeed!

mini anagallis is 2 and does a lot of those things… if your worried see a Dr but it sounds pretty normal to me

I take back my remark about requesting advice on this forum. (hangs head in shame)

See what lance has started now…

(is there no end to the sensible advice that you can find on here, it’s great)

It is a very difficuly subject and I worried about my son who is 5 now for a bit when he was about 2. He displayed some of the traits you described in particluar being with other kids and he got very fixated on things. My sister is severly autistic so I was worried at the time. It turns out he just needs to be comfortable in his environment and was a bit shy. He is at school now and doing really well still gets really into stuff though (bit like me and bikes).

Your boy could be fine he is still very young. As others have said it is a broad spectrum and you should look to professional advice to help with your concerns.

I’ll overlook it killwillforchips 😆 There’s been some proper good advice flying about on here recently, which makes a nice change!

As has been said, it takes all sorts to make the world what it is, and some people on the spectrum are hugely successful, particularly in business and IT. Try not to be hung up on it, just love him and encourage him to do normal things. Traits of the spectrum are indeed in all of us, and we need them to function. As said, happy to talk away from here if needed…

I apologise OP. You have every right to vent. I really need to watch how i write stuff.

Sounds like big daddy knows his stuff. But authism is no barrier to a safe and happy adult life. Infact there’s more support nowadays than ever before.

Hi Orm

I would agree with 40mpg. My own son, and many other 2-3 years boys that I’ve met, were very eccentric in many aspects of their behaviour. Also the lack of theory of mind that all toddlers have has parallels with this phenomenon in people with autism

I work with adults with Autism (specialist learning disability nurse) and, amongst many other tasks, assess people who are seeking a diagnosis. A small part of the assessment process is gathering information of childhood behaviour.

Given some the behaviours you list I can see why you could reach that conclusion. But 2 year olds are strange creatures and of course siblings are often very different. My two certainly were and still are! Seek guidance from professionals as you have, there is a lot of good support around these days. Even if he eventually ends up with that diagnosis it’s not the end of the world. I know a lot of very happy people who happen to have autism too!

Hope that is of some use.

although i’ve worked with a fair few autistic clients in my career so far and had placements with the CAMHS team where we dealt with a lot of assessments for the autism side of things i’d be wary about offering specific advice over t’internet!

the NAS link is a good’n and you’ve gone to the right people (GP and taking it forward from there).

i will say one thing specific though, being autistic does not mean you can’t be independent as an adult 😀

bigdaddy – Member
Hi mate,

i work for the National Autistic Society

FORUM WIN!

Great to see that the Hive Mind continues to deliver!

OP, I’ve recently become a father, and I’ve found myself both fascinated and worried in equal measure about any and every phase of development day by day, so I can understand where you’re coming from. Fingers crossed it all works out for you.

Love this place! Cheers.

OP it could be hes entering that difficult toddler phase where he’ll sulk etc etc etc. IF it is Autism (as I understand it) if its caught early enough there are steps you can take etc that can alleviate and improve.

Can I suggest having his hearing checked out? Speaking from experience here.

Trully is a great forum with a very broad cross section of professions and people. All of whom are only too willing to give of themselves when the time counts with proper advice.

We will always get the pish taken but that’s no bad thing either.

What c_g said. My OH’s nephew was recently fitted with grommets, all of a sudden the little boy who didn’t talk much & seemed a little “off” was a completely different character. Worth a check IMO

My nephew – wives sisters kid is 4 1/2 and doesn’t communicate in any way, he wont take any instruction, show any emotion other than aggression, doesn’t say anything – nothing at all apart from goo goo ga ga like a baby.

THey have had him into GP, paediatricians etc etc and nothing seems to be happening with it. professionals dont seem concerned, not being a profesional myself I hate to say they are wrong but surely this is the most important time for kids, he starts school in september and knowing kids i can see he will be bullied.

I dont think it will help his cause that he lives on an island and will be one of only 3 kids in the school.

hi, A dad here who has a autistic son, so some experience. You have been referred to paeds which is good starting point to look further into his development. Has he been referred to speech and language? Your GP / health visitor can do this or self refer. Where are you based as I help run http://www.salford-action-for-autism.com My day job is within Speech and language working with children 0-5 in Salford. If you would like to chat let me know. This would be from a dads perspective not professional. In the mean time good luck and enjoy playing with him.

Hora strikes again.

What steps will alleviate authism Hora?

One of my twin sons is diagnosed with Asperger syndrome (This is part of autism spectrum). It is not the end of the world but it does stop us doing some things. If you do get a diagnosis you will stress about it and then want to find out why and how and did you do anything wrong. All of this will be pointless but you will still do it. The best thing we ever did was meet up with other parents in a similar situation and have a good moan about everything and realise that we were not alone and then pick up some practical advice from people who have been in your situation. But in all it was a case of accepting how thing are and just getting on with it.
The only advice I can give if speak to others and make sure you get the support that you are due although you may have to fight the schools and NHS to get this.

with cinnamon_girl on this one !

We had the same issues down to a “T” with the same as you describe…

Two grommet operations later and hey presto different boy !

On android at mo. Will post it in am

I’ll look forward to it Mr Hora.

I was looking into regressive Autism. On the phone so hard to find the links. Heres only one link with a mention

m.helpguide.org/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.helpguide.org%2Fmental%2Fautism_signs_symptoms.htm#2661

Regressive or otherwise i see nothing about alleviating the conditions.

More over the OP mentioned nothing about regressive symptoms ie loosing communication skills after starting to talk confidently.

Always reliably Daft eh Hora!?! or maybe it should be trig’ (ala only fools & horses)!?!

Usually refrain from this topics as ‘someone’ usually pipes up to take the piss 🙄

If he’s stimming from the credits & music usually a sign.

But blokes are funny creatures, i’m sure most of us show similar tendencies – tool boards, woodpiles, immaculate sheds etc 😀

Anyway, work with some very severely people on the spectrum – teaching them to speak, interact etc – but i work in behavioral intervention, autism partnership & Peach ABA

so imo 2 years is definitely not too early for a diagnosis, the vast majority i have worked with have had a early diagnosis.

email in profile if i need it too

Kill or whatever your name is. You are at 5 on the angry scale. Calm down.

Although I work with autistic people it is more support than diagnosis so can’t add anything better than others have so far, however on a slightly related matter I just saw this article: Telegraph

Psychologists in the US identified 34 children and young people who they say appeared to recover from the developmental disorder.
Tests on the individuals, aged eight to 21, concluded that they no longer suffered symptoms of the autism, which makes it difficult to communicate and socialise.
Writing in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, the authors said the study “documents a group of individuals with clear early histories of autism who currently show normal language, face recognition, communication and social interaction, and no autism symptoms”.
They suggested that “moving off the autism spectrum into normal functioning” was “a possibility”.

although a study of 34 people seems low to make a conclusion IMO.

As others have said, get hearing checked as well (I’m sure this would be on any doctors agenda anyway). Two friends have had this issue with theirs, in both cases their sons (approx 2 yrs old in both cases) appeared introverted due to that sense being lacking. One required surgery to correct an inner ear skin issue (I think reasonably common), the other had corrective surgery but was later diagnosed deaf/hard of hearing, but the quicker it is diagnosed the better for it to be dealt with.

Some good advice from lots of people, including you Hora!

1shed, we are in Stockport. Is your group exclusively for Salfordians or are all comers welcome? We would probably like to join the group if it looks like we are headed towards a diagnosis.

Thanks for the offers Banks & bazwadah. We are seeing the Heath Visitor tomorrow, and the paediatrics as soon as confirmation comes through from the GP. I may drop you an email if we feel a bit dazed and confused!

So I guess the first stop should be hearing tests and then asking for help with his speech development.

Feeling better already. Thanks all.

Just read previous posts in detail and yes, both had grommets fitted in their ears and a fairly common issue as I understand, grommets are removed with normal development. Instant fix in one case, unfortunately not in the other, but actual deafness is fairly rare.

Glad you found all the different posts helpful, the group is geared towards Salford parents but we have had parents travel in. You can contact me through the website. If you want chat we could combine it with a bike ride. Stay positive and when you are meeting go in prepared / write down what you want to know ask. Cheers 1 shed