- This topic has 67 replies, 43 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by howsyourdad1.
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Work Christmas Party Scandal
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howsyourdad1Free Member
It’s my work Christmas party tonight. Hoping that something disastrous happens and someone loses the plot from too
much booze. Best incident I can recall from a previous job was a deeply religious man begging to give another guy a BJ whilst high on pills…. What mad things have happened at your work party?wilko1999Free MemberHa ha that’s a cracker, can’t top that. A few years ago on our Christmas do, I was in the loo’s of a club in Gloucester, one of my colleagues came in as well, completely hammered, went to lean on my shoulder just as I moved out of the way. He fell down like Delboy and broke a load of ribs.
JamieFree MemberBest incident I can recall from a previous job was a deeply religious man begging to give another guy a BJ whilst high on pills….
So the guy was already gay, or the magic pills turned him gay?
PookFull Membera deeply religious man begging to give another guy a BJ
did you enjoy it?
theotherjonvFull MemberI’m not sure what the church has to say on the matter of pills, but the other bit sounds like the Vatican christmas lunch?
thehustlerFree Memberdid you enjoy it?
’twas a religious experience “Oh god! Oh god!Oh god!”
thehustlerFree MemberCant really say ‘scandal’ but many moons ago woke up in the staff quaters of a hotel where we had been having our xmas do the night b4, was a good night and good morning 🙂
MoreCashThanDashFull MemberI remember one year my boss having £20 on me to get off with a very close female friend st the Xmas party.
Convinced him to let me have his room key so we could do the deed and he could win his bet.
Nothing happened. We just trashed the room and when he burst through the door with a spare pass key he had blagged from reception we had just finished a sensible and sober discussion about how we both did quite fancy each other but at the time I was already involved with a couple of other women, one of whom is now MrsMC, and she didn’t want to add to my rather complicated ( at the time) problems.
One of lifes missed opportunities was Suzie. 😕
MoreCashThanDashFull MemberA mate of mine once got so drunk at the Xmas party he forgot his room number, so went to sleep in his car.
Woke up in his car at 7am in a busy Gatwick hotel car park. Wearing the pyjamas he had obviously changed into whilst in said car park…..
howsyourdad1Free MemberBest incident I can recall from a previous job was a deeply religious man begging to give another guy a BJ whilst high on pills….
So the guy was already gay, or the magic pills turned him gay?
I think his surging serotonin levels let out alot of suppressed feelings.
monkeysfeetFree MemberA long time ago I ended up at a nurses xmas party in Kings Lynn. I was hammered and ended up going back with a rather large, but lovely lady.
Unfortunately the walk to her house sobered me up. She lay on her bed and released two huuuuge breasticles, i realised I couldn’t go through with the deed… Being the sophisticated guy i am i made an excuse to go to the loo and scarpered.If you are reading this o’ buxom one I do apologise 😕
howsyourdad1Free Membermonkeysfeet – Member
A long time ago I ended up at a nurses xmas partyGreat start I must say
dannyhFree MemberAt a works Xmas do about ten years ago my employer decided the best free booze to put on the tables was wine and Stella 😯
There was a catty group of girls in one of the teams who had been picking on another girl for a few months. She got trashed on the free booze (the remnants of which had been taken onto the dance floor). Eventually, spying a whispered bitchy comment, she stepped across (and into) the bottles that were strewn across the floor, took a swing at one of the girls, missed, and clocked a woman who was on secondment to us from HMRC. Before losing her balance and clattering into the bottles (broken and otherwise).
She was carted out by two of her colleagues. The next week, she was hauled in for a very brief ‘chat’ on the Monday morning, then left the premises never to be seen again………….
D0NKFull MemberI think his surging serotonin levels let out alot of suppressed feelings.
one would hope he’s decided to take a long look at these suppressed feelings and started to live his life as he probably should. But I’d bet on him going straight to his chosen religion’s representative and said “help me drugs made me do bad things.”
Pretty much every place I’ve ever worked they’ve said “the pissups we used to have…they were legendary” wistful look on their mush “of course we’re all married with kids now”Some funny stuff but nothing scandalous
horaFree MemberOne doo: My Mum ringing me to remind me it was the anniversary of my Fathers death that night.
..Then I break the belt of the Office girl who bursts into tears, then my drunk female boss tried to see how big my balls were whilst I objected/tried to get away.
….Then two from our company stole a bottle of spirits from behind the bar asking me to cover for them and tried drinking it like it was large glasses of wine.Never ever ever again.
In addition with other companies Christmas doo’s- I’m a daft drunk. Some people are aggressive and pick fights with strangers expecting colleagues (i.e me) to wade in and save them.
matt_outandaboutFull MemberThankfully our current (and last place) go for a nice meal, a glass or two with a “swear pot” on the table (no speaking about work), and generally have a really nice time – often kids and family join us.
Sorry to disappoint.timcFree MemberIn my younger years as a trainee in a building services enginering office we went out for the usual late afternoon / evening meal & night time drinks.
One lad thought he was a big time drinker mixing red wine & Stella & necking it back. I had to ring his mother at 18:30 to pick him up. 😀
Not telling any of my tales, we all like promo girls though 🙂
ste_tFree MemberHopefully ours passes without anyone getting arrested.
Got to happen some time surely
timcFree Membermonkeysfeet – Member
I was hammered and ended up going back with a rather large, but lovely lady.Unfortunately the walk to her house sobered me up.
i realised I couldn’t go through with the deed…
Was the walk 20 miles? if not you wernt really hammered 😉
surroundedbyhillsFree MemberNot quite a works do but it was Christmas and at work.
Many years ago when video camera’s were rare I worked in a large hotel; on Christmas day we set out a huge buffet that stretched for about 100ft, one of the Senior Chefs who was an old guy in his late 60’s wanted to film it and so borrowed a video camera from one of the Junior Chefs who had been given Christmas off (you could work either Christmas or NYear). On boxing day some of the kitchen brigade gathered in a function room to watch the film back, all was good but as the Christmas day filming ended no one was quick enough to switch it off and the tape ran on. To a film Karl (for that was his name) had made for his girlfriend of him **** off in front of his Christmas tree…it didn’t take long for the whole kitchen has seen it before he came back to work!howsyourdad1Free Memberste_t – Member
Hopefully ours passes without anyone getting arrested.
Got to happen some time surelyWowsers
duckmanFull MemberIn a previous place of employment,two of my workmates were getting to know each other VERY well in an alley next to the pub we had ended up in….As teenagers filmed it (I suspect as a nature film)*
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* I’m a teacher.dannyhFree MemberSo the bullied girl got sacked? That seems a bit unfair
Yes, but she had just clocked an innocent bystander who didn’t even work for the company.
It was the kind of company (like most) where those in power didn’t give a toss what was going on so long as the work got done and they got their bonuses without having to work too hard themselves.
It happens a lot.
monkeysfeetFree MemberWas the walk 20 miles? if not you wernt really hammered
It was a fair walk…..and that will remain my excuse 😀
dannyhFree MemberDo you work in banking dannyh??
Nope – it was an old employer of mine – a FTSE 100 Retailer.
jekkylFull Memberone christmas do was at a fancy dress party, medieval themed. One guy who used to get all the ladies came dressed as a medieval buxom wench. This must have sent the real women wild because during the night he got a bj off of one in the carpark and took another woman for full how’s your father over a car bonnet, this was after he had danced with her in full view of the whole dept on the dancefloor. He was stood up and she was sat on his hips and he was jiggling her up n down to the music and she was lovin it, they were both completely oblivious to the fact that nearly the whole dept were watching them agog. She’s normally a quiet sort, happily married with two kids. She split from her hubby for 6 months after!! That woman is now my manager…. Oh how we laughed!.
NorthwindFull MemberBecause of us, all bank of scotland staff are banned from the Canny Man in Morningside until the end of time.
kimbersFull MemberPost Xmas lunch pub
Another team at our place were having a group.photo taken, I got the kid taking the pic to.wait till.I was in position and stood on a table behind exposed my shiny white butt .
This was predigital camera. So in the new year I was at first a bit confused when the camera owner came storming up to me and demanded if this was my arse
It took a moment for it all to come back to me. She had no sense of humour
That was mild tbh, it was a lot of graduates st a big science institute and our boss would invite us to his place at 11am for whiskey tasting to kick things offads678Full MemberI once threatened to rip someones F-ing throat out after they had thrown a roast spud and it hit my white DJ. It was just at the moment where the music stops and pretty much everyone heard me!!
Jacket only cost me a fiver, but the gravy stain ruined my bond esq suaveness!!!
IHNFull MemberI once threatened to rip someones F-ing throat
my bond esq suaveness
😕
emszFree Memberlast year my boss decided that he was going to try to match me drink for drink.
Bless.
ultimateweevilFree MemberMy first job after uni at the Xmas party, one of those bring a party ones at some hotel, we usually had to put the team manager to bed before the meal was finished as it was like he was getting of the leash for one night a year and his mission was to consume more beer than anyone else from 3pm.
My last job at the last Xmas night out I did walk in to the toilet and catch two (happily) married colleagues in a rather compromising situation.
edlongFree MemberI recall seeing a colleague I vaguely knew wandering round the dinner tables after everyone had finished the meals, necking as much red wine as was left on each table.
I next saw him having a conversation with the bouncers by the entrance to the nightclub. The gist seemed to be that they wanted him to leave, but he didn’t. As I passed, I caught a snippet of the conversation as he admitted “well, yes, I HAVE been sick, but…” I think he probably left shortly afterwards.
We had one of those two-different-parties-at-the-same-venue altercation situations a few years ago – a bit uneven as there were about 25 of us, in 1920s fancy dress (it had been a murder mystery themed dinner) and about 150 of them, and they didn’t agree with the venue management who had told us we were welcome to join the disco, and some of them decided to emphasise the point with some physicality.
Ended up with about 10 police vans, and the helicopter hovering overhead with it’s 8,000,000 lumen search beam (presumably a couple of Solarstorm X2s strapped together) illuminating us in all our glory. Oh how we laughed as the combined might of West Yorkshire’s finest realised that a couple of dozen slightly pickled idiots dressed as vicars, colonels etc. really didn’t present that much of a threat to civil order. I think the venue manager got a bit of a roasting for calling it in with a bit of exaggeration..
dannyhFree MemberI think the venue manager got a bit of a roasting
And there is a whole other story…………….
TheFlyingOxFull MemberSome guy at one of ours, about 8 years ago, climbed under a table and crimped one off. As far as we know, HR/management didn’t even need to have “the chat” with him. He just came in on the Monday morning, sheepishly collected his belongings into a cardboard box and walked off the premises, never to be seen or heard from again.
Just about the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.
Big-MFree MemberThis one time, I may have been drunk, I had a fumble with the hot blonde in accounts & professed my undying love for her. Worked a treat as she’s now my wife.
Another time ‘lunch time bash’ then returned to the office I vaguely recall my then boss offering me glasses of port and at some point late in the afternoon I was standing on my desk mooning one of my colleagues when a manager from another dept walked in…. The following morning I excused myself and my boss laughed at me, he thought it was hilarious, thankfully.
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