Dog started going ape at the garage (bottom of the garden) so went round the old railway line at the back of the house armed with a bic pen in each hand (!). Someone had tried to prise the up-and-over door open and the cheapo latch was undone.

We had our bikes nicked not so long ago and looks like they’ve come back for the replacements. Had a jog along the railway line but no-one around – probably for the best.

Still shaking.

armed with a bic pen in each hand (!).

Should’ve had a nice 3ft length of 4×2…

no no no… Bombers, surely?

More to the point, have you now secured the garage ?
Since they did the hard work they might come back for a second bite !

Garage already as secure as it can be without rebuilding – it’s a cheapy, prefab, panel built affair. When the bikes went last time (see here), I mmediately went out and bought a motorbike chain lock for the floor anchor.

Unfortunately, opening the garage door isn’t hard work – in fact, I could probably prise it open with one of the fore-mentioned bic pens. I reckon the only way of securing it is to attatch a chain to the door, and then to another floor anchor….

Bic pens were the nearest damage-inflicting weapons to hand – wouldn’t want to bend a set of Bombers.

Too worried to go to bed……..

Wait up for them to come back, in the garage with some of the aforementioned bombers, then beat the living bejeezus out of them, puncture a hole through their flesh and chain them to the ground anchor, then call the police.

where did you “chase off thieves?”

Get onto google and search for ‘anti-poaching mines’ – basically a blank shotgun cartridge on a trip wire. You set them up pointing into the ground (obviously) to stop powder flying everywhere and they come with a little sign warning of loud noises. Just hammer a nail to one side of the door and use some fine fishing line to set the tripwire. After we had an intruder last year we had them recommended to us – perfectly legal and they’ll a) scare the scrotes sh*tless and b) wake you and the dogs up. The bottom of the garden is now fully armed.

Unfortunately my wife wouldn’t let me get the paintball claymores I wanted. The idea was that if I heard a bang i’d hit the trigger and they’d get 2 pints of bright green paint at waist height. She didn’t want to be cleaning up the garden.

Mind you – it’s best to tell family that they’re there. My wife forgot and her Uncle almost had a heart-attack when he went to the shed to get a ladder and didn’t disarm it first, cue “BANG!”, “****” and cup of tea all down his front….

ALternatively get some geese – our neighbour has just bought some – evil feckers and you can’t walk within 2 yards of their garden without them screeching…

Your dog chased the thieves off, you run up the track holding 2 pens.

Death to bike thieves!

A few years back i came in the back gate of my house only to see someone trying to get in the back door (not thinking)i shouted and gave chase. I grabbed him trying to get over the fence to the next door garden but he undid his coat & slipped out of it and got over. I new the neigbouring property (terraced garden) and new he would only have one way out from where he was so went back out my gate and waited for him but he was already over I chased him for a bit and then it suddenly occured to me what am I going to do if i catch him so I went home. I finished a bottle of wine that night and it didn’t touch me with all the adrenaline flowing. at the time I’d just finished reading ‘Birdsong’ and was surprised at how much the guys in the trenches drank on duty so this experience kind of helped me understand the physical effects of adrenaline

If anyone saw Rock n Rolla than You could see how dangerous a sharpened pencil is. 2 bic pens would be pretty lethal and probably according to the police would exceed self defense and You would get a jail sentence for hurting them. 😉

Our garage got done over earlier in the year. THe motorbike chain & anchor stopped them getting any bikes – a great purchase!

I got some of these to better secure the actual up & over door itself. I can’t see how you would now open the door without ripping it off it’s hinges or cutting a hole through it.

Our garage got done over earlier in the year. THe motorbike chain & anchor stopped them getting any bikes – a great purchase!yes

You live in the south don’t you.

The standard issue Barman’s Comb is the tool of choice to chase off thieves.

bataone – Member

Our garage got done over earlier in the year. THe motorbike chain & anchor stopped them getting any bikes – a great purchase!yes
new york asian escort WTF?

I suggest removing the bikes for a while & leaving the garage unlocked.
WHEN they return, they won’t destroy your door trying to open it, & hopefully they’ll think you never replaced your other bikes.

Get yourself one of these easypeesy to fit and they are **** loud no one could stay in your garage with the siren going

http://www.wilkinsonplus.com/invt/0276330

Years ago when i lived at home i caught a scally in our yard sniffing round the back of our garage and dropped him with a golf club – previous to this we had numerous break ins and this seemed to stop them altogether so maybe word of mouth seemed to do the trick. I’m just waithing for the phone call from my dad now when he sees this post tonight and the lecture 🙂

I would get the blank shotgun cartridges – this type of thread crops up regularly on the motorbike forums I read. Other than being a member of the Mafia, its the best way to keep stuff safe.

Alternativly you could move to a safe area.

Gaffer tape, hessian sack, hands zip tied behind their back, strip em and dump the little pricks somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Grindleford seemed like a good choice at the time. Works surprisingly well for Asian car thieves from Victoria road in Sheffield.

But of course the bit that really swung it was taking the photograph of them with my mate Johns cock next to his mouth while he was tied up. Amazing what leverage the old ‘gay photo’ threat is.

Moral of story: do not try and break into the car of someone who is best mates with the guys who used to run the door at Gatecrasher and the Music Factory.

Makes me think of Pulp Fiction – remember the gimp scene ?

A copper once told me if you have an up and over door get a long piece of wooden dowel and put it in the runner for the door on both sides as an extra stopper. You cannot get the door open at all without bending it which makes a lot of noise. Also easy to remove for you when you need access.

This works for slidey secondary double glazing and patio doors too

Thanks all for the helpful posts – and yes, OK, it was the dog that chased the thieves really.

Those anti-poaching cartridges look good, as does the siren, but a touch on the pricey side. As for moving to a ‘safe area’, IME they tend to get targetted far more than the ‘dodgy areas’.

The dog is absolutely the best security measure going even though he looks like this .

As an aside

– Hairychested – Member

bataone – Member

Our garage got done over earlier in the year. THe motorbike chain & anchor stopped them getting any bikes – a great purchase!yes
new york asian escort

WTF?

That’s a bit worrying as my Kaspersky keeps wanting to update every few hours and it keeps telling me its ‘databases are corrupt’ – anyone else suffering?

Once I move house I’ll be investing in one of these beauties

Klaxon P Series

If you keep golf clubs, hockey sticks etc handy you could be accused of deliberately keeping a weapon ready and end up in trouble. I keep a 4 x D Cell Maglite in the bedroom in case of power cuts and not for use as a weapon against intruders. 16″ long and weighs 2 pounds 😉

Well, I’ve got a couple of airguns (just under the legal limit) but they live in a locked cabinet for just the reason above ^^^ I happen to know that the leg of the chair at the end of the bed comes off in two shakes of a lamb’s tail though….

I have a baseball bat but as it’s in a kit bag with baseball gloves, balls etc I can’t see that the police could argue I’d bought it for self defence.