Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 54 total)
  • Wife away for the weekend…..
  • dingabell
    Free Member

    Apart from the obvious Pot Noodle and….etc, what would you make a point of doing? Already pencilled in silly XBOX hours and maybe two rides? The TV remote is all mine so no bloody Hollyoaks either.

    binners
    Full Member

    Coke and hookers, obviously. All weekend 😀

    yossarian
    Free Member

    Wee in every sink, and out of the back door

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    bigyinn
    Free Member

    As someone else on here once suggested, a danger ****?
    Obviously beer, loud music, how its made, family guy, porn and walking around in underpants is a given.

    piemonster
    Full Member

    Wee in every sink, and out of the back door

    Definitely out the back door, what a joy it is.

    Especially if its beer fuelled and the back door is marginally closer than the toilet.

    piemonster
    Full Member

    At least one meal should consist primarily of crisps.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    Weeing out of the back door?

    I really hope that isn’t a metaphor.

    Nick
    Full Member

    Don’t wash up/tidy anything you use, then panic 20 minutes before she is due home and wash up, hoover and make the bed. She will still moan the house is a tip.

    Nick
    Full Member

    oh and watch internet porn with the volume turned up

    wobbem
    Free Member

    Nope, but weeing in the back door is 😈

    bigyinn
    Free Member

    And whatever takeawy food your wife doesnt like.

    Bregante
    Full Member

    And whatever takeawy food your wife doesnt like.

    Remember to save some (or buy extra) for your breakfast tomorrow.

    dingabell
    Free Member

    I was thinking that this might be the time for me to try a food challenge. Double dozen of Crispy Creme doughnuts for dinner?

    johndoh
    Free Member

    Remember to save some (or buy extra) for your breakfast tomorrow.

    Deffo extra – he will need stodge to soak up the two bottles of red he inevitably gets around to drinking, long after the p0rn itch has been scratched and he ends up finding Rocky II on some obscure digital channel at 3am…

    tiggs121
    Free Member

    You will of course remember that she reads this forum and knows your STW identity!

    I’d have a quiet weekend with a good book and maybe doing a few of the we jobs you’ve not yet got round to………….and when you get fed up with that …beers, carryout curry and xbox fest with the friends she finds “childish” …oh and wee out the door too!

    Have a good one! Let us know what you actually did!!

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    Blow
    Hookers
    Public urination
    Danger w***

    All taken up in the first 3 posts.

    Once you’ve got through the above you have to finish off with all 23 James Bond films whilst sat in a nest of your own filth.

    argoose
    Free Member

    Bikes in front room for overhaul

    davidtaylforth
    Free Member

    argoose – Member
    Bikes in front room for overhaul

    Shag your bikes in the front room

    cheez0
    Free Member

    no wonder your missuses never go away!

    flip
    Free Member

    Blow
    Hookers
    Public urination
    Danger w***

    Thats the first hour sorted!

    Bunnyhop
    Full Member

    As someone else on here once suggested, a danger ****?
    Obviously beer, loud music, how its made, family guy, porn and walking around in underpants is a given. I’m confused, I thought these were normal things when the wife is around.

    binners
    Full Member

    A word of warning! If you’ve got a mahooooosive telly, be careful watching porn on it! It can be quite intimidating! Like the first time you watch Alien! 😯

    dingabell
    Free Member

    Unfortunately our TV in the living room is next to full width patio doors that the wife decided didn’t need proper curtains, just “dress” curtains. Danger w*** might be on the cards after all. I’ll be going through our DVD collection trying to find short sections of filth due to our lack of proper porn. I’ve already told her I’ll be eating a takeaway curry at some point……on her brand new sofa. Just out of interest, if there are any ladies reading this, what would you do if the old man went away for a weekend? Just so I know what to expect.

    piemonster
    Full Member

    Moves tv onto coffee table 💡

    yossarian
    Free Member

    Try and get your **** sock to stick to the bedroom ceiling.

    Remember to remove it before she gets home.

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    You lucky devil. 10 mins after she’s left light a big ole cone & smoke it with a beer then watch a scifi horror with pizza & then snacks. Then another doob & then play console games till at least 2am. Happy dayz!

    dannybgoode
    Full Member

    5 finger shuffle in every room of the house and a sneaky sex wee on her pillow…

    Cheers

    Danny B

    piemonster
    Full Member

    Need to knock off the kitchen and porch from the list 💡

    plyphon
    Free Member

    Read a book.

    Do some home DIY that you’ve been meaning to get round to doing for 6 months.

    Hoover.

    And most importantly,

    Never leave the toilet seat up.

    flip
    Free Member

    You’ve gone quiet OP..

    flip
    Free Member

    You’ve gone quiet OP..

    piemonster
    Full Member

    He having some alone time

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    Dangerous.

    dingabell
    Free Member

    She’s still here. She’s not leaving till early tomorrow morning. Not back till late Sunday so technically best part of two days. She’s got another two trips booked as well so this could be a practice run. Should have “lazing around single bloke style” down to a tee by the summer.

    yetidave
    Free Member

    Enjoy it, but make sure she doesn’t read this thread! Oh and hoover before she comes back..

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Round about now, he’s going to be switching hands. Adds a certain frisson to it.

    piemonster
    Full Member

    FYI, my girlfriend took a new job mid January. For the first 8 months she’s away Monday to Friday.

    I’m virtually blind already. And the smell………

    dingabell
    Free Member

    Got up late.
    Cake for breakfast.
    Xbox.
    More Xbox.
    Doughnuts.
    Watched “How It’s Made”
    Watched “The Detonators”
    Curry.
    Leffe Blonde.
    “True Grit” (Coen Brothers version”
    Becks (the beer, not the footballer).
    More Xbox.
    ‘Watched’ certain 10 minute previews at midnight.
    Didn’t relieve myself out of any doors or indulge in coke and hookers (just in case the wife reads this).
    Day well spent really.

    coolhandluke
    Free Member

    Mrs Coolhandluke was away last night back in the morning

    After dropping her off I was off to the Indian restaurant for a ruby take a way, beers packed in fridge, watched Star Trek the movie and consumed all foodstuffs bought for the occasion as well as some chocolate bits out of a Christmas selection box. The Aberlour 12 took a bit of punishment too.

    Now up with a raging thirst at 3am.

    wallop
    Full Member

    Watched’ certain 10 minute previews at midnight.

    Seeing as you post on here, I assume you have the Internet. So why the rubbish satellite “porn”!?

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 54 total)

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