Dear STW Forum,
I'm in a quandry over my big fat balls which cost me a fortune, so far I haven't had one T!t on them. Am I doing something wrong, should they be hanging in a particular way, should I be displaying them in a more open environment.
Thank You
A frustrated t!t watcher.
T!ts can be shy, you need to coax them out - you can't just get your balls out and expect t!ts to flock to you.
Try playing some Barry White, let them know your balls aren't a threat and before long they'll come grab a mouthfull
i share your disappointment, although mine were cheaper.
should I be displaying them in a more open environment
if you are desperate and can't wait for them to appear in your garden there are websites...
I always knew that the STW forum contained sound ornithological advice.
Ensure one hangs lower than the other,and both hanging on seperate strings,unless theyve had the snip,(those naughty squirrels).
You may well want to hang a cooked sausage,between them as well.
As not all birds are vegetarian.
lol ^
on a more serious note my ahem...mother reckons they need to be hung in quite an open space, but you just have to wait as it takes a while for birds (especially this time of year) to move away from more regular feeding grounds to your balls.
makes sure there are other foods availible in your garden to eg seed.
Birds love my balls, sometimes I have to fight them off. Blackbirds hang around for the left overs, dirty stop-outs. Be patient, they will come 
Nice recipe..... that should bring them flocking
They don't touch my balls but love the nuts wink:
Had a couple of tits at our nut sack. But still far too early to expect a swallow.
A couple of years back, I was having lunch in the garden with the girlfriend's parents.
Her mother turned to me and said, perfectly seriously:-
"Do you think tits have been getting bigger recently?"
I had absolutely no idea what to say to that... 
tits. balls. sounds rude.
well its NOT, its your mind!! Disgraceful behaviour!
Its hard to see buts that's a woodpecker knocking hell out of my nuts. 
bum bum
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