So it’s saturday morning, I’ve flogged me boat and I’m trailing it over to whitstable, with the breadknife also in tow, long story cut short but difficulty overtaking with trailer, wimmen in 4×4’s not wanting to disturb the poor bikers, it’s taking ages down this road. Sure enough there they were, two abreast, then begrudgingly staggered, not single file, one still mincing some distance out in the road so by the time I got to take them once the road was clear, we’re damn near half way into Canterbury.
He’s in a pink shirt, lycra, spd’s full ‘don’t come near me I’m a cycling queen’ attitude, but I eventually pass safely and continue on my way, we’re not gunning it, what with the boat on the back, so next up comes frikken lights on amber so I slow and stop, moments later there they are again, gone past and now they’re in front again, both on my nearside wing.
Now I’m not wanting another bloody procession and ages before I can safely pass, so I nosed forward just a tad. The Queen doesn’t like this so moves out and plants herself square in front of the truck of joy.
Now, a little about the truck, it’s a chevy diesel and I did have a decent sound device fitted from the outset, something designed specifically with roadies in mind, for when I might miss clipping them with the wing mirrors, anyway just as she’s shifting out in front the lights change, so I gave the button of aural pleasure a resounding smack, she jumps out of her skin, itself a rewarding experience, gives me a death glare, I road rage gesticulate in my best get the **** out of the way, can’t you see I’ve got a trailer’, followed by the bird and we go safely on our way, only to notice the tosser turning right anyway so totally on the wrong side of the frigging lights.
Now that would have been fine, but for the breadknife who clearly feeling fiesty, starts on at me about being inconsiderate, not embarrassing her, people like me should be banned from the roads, they were just innocent blokes out for a ride, my ears are bleeding time I’m at whitstable.
I **** hate road bikers and what’s with them riding ‘Specialised’ how can any self respecting trail rider support a brand that sells road bikes, obviously I’ve spent too much time in my cave and missed the noughties or whenever it was they turned traitor…