Nice as all these nicherareretroblingfests are, who's bike ticks the most standard STW boxes? Who's riding the biggest STW cliche? I reckon I'm in with a shout:
456 frame (steel)
RS Revs
Hope XC/717 wheels (should be ProII for full STW box ticking, but they refuse to die). Shimano skewers obviously.
Thompson post/stem (what else?)
Easton bars (ditto)
Charge Spoon saddle
Mix and match SRAM/Shimano/Connex drivetrain
Conti Vert Pros
A little bell
and, of course
BB7s.
Who can beat that?
Surely you're immediately disqualified for having 26 inch wheels?
its not even fat
I've got a Specialized Stumpjumper FSR, that I've hardly done anything to.
Does that count?
IHN - surely you need RocketRon/Furious Fred tyre combo??
Has to be a singlespeed.
Surely it's got to have xt brakes from Rose bikes. Pad choice might be controversial though (oe or superstar kevlars)...
2002 Coyote Dual (singlespeed), salvaged from the bin at the LBS (it had a bent head tube so I straightened it out and reamed it back to shape) put together with various parts I had left over from other builds and upgrades.
Still the best bike I have ever owned. It losses points for not being steel unfortunately.
Surely you're immediately disqualified for having 26 inch wheels?
Has to be a singlespeed
Curses, if only I'd kept my GF Rif 29er singlespeed, with the Mary bars. And BB7s, obviously 
Orange 5?
APF
Custom steel frame, won at SSUK
Rigid forks
29" wheels
Fixed
Upside down Mary bars
Front BB7
Carbon 456
Revelations
SLX drivetrain
Ragley carbon bars
Superstar grips/pedals
Oh hang on deore wheels/spesh tyres - work in progress
456 frame (steel)
RS Revs pikes
Hope XC/717 pro II/719 wheels Shimano skewers obviously.
Thompson post/stem (what else?)
Easton bars (ditto)
Charge Spoon saddle
Mix and match SRAM/Shimano/Connex1x9 drivetrain
Conti Vert Pros/ high rollers/ rubber queens /what ever is popular next
I'm not doing bad 
Whatever everyone thinks is cool right now - I've got one of them.
Fat
Rigid
Hub gear
Jones Loop Bar
How am I doing?
thomthumb - your bike sounds gash
Could be in with a shout here, not niche really but mentions a lot of above!
On One Scandal raw frame 29er.
Rockshox Reba (bought from On One, run at 120mm)
Angleset in to slacken
Reverb Seatpost (from On One)
Hope ProII hubs.
XT brakes (from Rose!)
SLX crankset
Smattering of Hope Gold items (hubs, rear skewer, bar plugs etc)
Nobby Nic front, Racing Ralph rear.
Not singlespeed or a fat bike..
not mine but when I first joined stw this would have been it;
Ti Salsa 26", SIDs,
Pro IIIs, ZTRs, Stan's, Ralphs,
Thomson, Easton, Charge Knife, Hope X2s 160/140
Sram, XTR, TA rings 2x9
(deduct points for Nokons & King bits)
gotta be stans as mavic are suddenly so uncool and weigh as much as a house
really you should have at least 5 bikes, none of which ever leave your hallway (you're currently building a shed which you insist on calling a mancave, the build thread is in the bike forum when really it should be in the chat forum)
any bike you have should currently be for sale as it's all about the next one
the STW bike would be in pieces as your superstar pads fell apart, your offset bushed destroyed your frame when it bottomed out and your kashima uppers have melted, your chain is broken and you went to order one in evans but they wanted £52 so you ordered one off crc who haven't despatched it yet and you should have just got one for the miserable fecker in your LBS
Orange 5 for the FS brigade and a 456 or Chameleon for the hardtailers, surely.
Well, since joining, talk and opinions led me to ditch my 26 inch MTB and move to a 29er.
Best thing ever did!
Thanks STW!
Plus I got some new Stans wheels as was told Mavic are shite (not that I think that) but I got the Stans at a great price and they give me an option of tubeless in the future.
Shame no one told me that there difficult to get tyres on and off them! 
Bad pic as just after I finished putting it all back together and was about to take it for a spin!
No love for the Orange P7? I'm sure I saw the bearded chap in the first article in issue 72 riding one.
Fox Vanilla 32s
RaceFace Evolve cranks/chainrings
Shimano XT Shadow rear mech
Shimano XT front mech + shifters (3x9 though so not down with the trends there)
Avid Juicy 5 brakes
Hope headset + bb
Kenda Nevegal + Maxxis High Roller tyres on WTB speeddisc rims (Hope Pro2 hubs though so extra points there right?)
Yeah, maybe not...
Everyone without wacky handlebars is immediately disqualified IMO. Think Druidh is winning so far.
Nowhere near enough seatpost showing to be a STW winner Tetsujin.
Surely a bike with a beard that likes reading a good book in a pub whilst drinking a pint of Monks wee would be the most STW bike?
Oh, and it would have to be a bike that disagreed with everyone.
Orange five
Thomson stem
Hope brakes
Hope hubs
Double and bash
Maxxis highrollers
With a smattering of superstar
Surely I win. I've got an Orange Five and a Cotic Soul.
Road bike with hydraulic discs.
If you've got too much moss on your patio, weeds in the brickwork or a fence in need of some wood-stain then you're out.
You can even have tubeless on your kids push-chair, but without log/valve alignment you've lost.
No hoses are allowed to be too long - not even your garden hose.
Surely the "most STW" bike is the road bike that sits in the shed, only getting taken out about 4 times through the summer on "training rides" (ie. oh dear, Mayhem is 2 weeks away and I'm unfit!)???
I'll put my hand up here...
Surely I win. I've got an Orange Five and a Cotic Soul.
You get my vote
A few years ago I had a Turner 5-spot with Conti Vert Pros and a singlespeed rigid inbred. Sadly it seems since then I have fallen behind the times; the fickle attention span of STW has moved on...
Here we go, out of my fleet got a couple of STW esq bikes
First bike
On-one inbred - 29er, custom powdercoat, metal headtube badge - keeping it real in steel
Rock shock Reba
Fleegle bar - funny bar shape
avid juicy seven brakes with contraversial superstar brake pads and formula rotors for that brand mixing.
charge spoon saddle
drivetrain mixture of SRAM, simano x9/XT level kit
bontrager wheels with halo choirboy tyres - letting the side down here
surly chain tensioner - just because I can
smattering of hope bits - sqewers, seatpost etc
lock-on grips
Second bike
Orange 5 in orange with pushed RP23
rock shox pikes (pushed)
hope proII wheels with maxxis high roller tyres
SRAM x9 drivetrain set up as 1x9 with chain device with xt cranks
thomson stem and seatpost
avid elixir brakes
easton monkeylite bars
lock-on grips
sdg bel-air saddle
I am currenlty also building a shed however it will be finished soon
sorry no pic as at work so cant access link.
Specialized Pitch with a Reverb, I know I'm a couple of years late on that one though (its green, not the bargain <£1k poo brown one).
How about a Singular Swift SS?
Steel - tick
More niche than nececary - tick
29er - tick
Singlespeed - tick
XTR cranks - tick
Hope Pro2 hubs - tick
Tubeleless (ghetto) - tick
Thompson spost/stem - tick
easton bars (flat and wide) - tick
foam grips - tick
pointless and unnececary anodising (lots of blue) - tick
hope brakes - tick
At the very minimum, the bike would need to be:
- Designed by a man in a shed - ideally welded/fillet brazed/knitted by him too
- Made from Steel, titanium, or wood/bamboo/recycled toilet roll/cardboard fibre/leftover metal bits found in a skip
- 29" wheels, bonus points for only having the 29 at one end, or for wheels that are fat/650B
- Rigid forked
- Singlespeed, or fixed if possible, bonus point for belt drive
- Custom painted/powdercoated/anodised/wallpapered/upholstered/carpeted
- Components sourced from EBay/Skips/market stalls/sheds/corpses
- One size too small for the rider, compensated for with a MASSIVE seatpost
- Valves/logos all aligned, non matching tyres front and rear
- Tubeless, but at least one of the tyre or the rim should not be designed for tubeless use
- Bullhorn/offroad drop/bent/twisted bars of some description, no flats or risers
- Should have a quoted weight that is an estimate based on what the owner believes the weight will be when he/she fits the new pedals/bars/saddle that are arriving next week
- Should have doe the owner proud at Sleepless in the Saddle/Mountain Mayhem/etc
- Should be for sale in the classifieds at any given time, as the owner has a new bike on the way
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