What he said.

I deliberately disassociated myself from most of my friends from my late teens and twenties, we were all up to no good and I’ve since moved on, quite a few of them still haven’t and now in late thirties. Now have a very small group of mates and we’ve all known each other since we were 4-6, it’ll always be thus. Proper friends I can trust through thick and thin.

It’s definitely the golf and F1 bit, isn’t it…..?

Yeah mainly the Gold and F1 that tipped me over the edge. As someone else suggested, maybe I’m the nob. 🙂

Sorry to come across all Sheldon like, but the friendship dynamic is often based on shared interests, attitudes, experiences etc.

You have changed and grown up from the sound of it. I think you only really keep friends if the above remains true. Nothing wrong with expanding your social group. Try and take the good ones with you !

I have a group of four and each week we take turns to cook and just watch a film or talk rubbish. They are old friends from the drunken womanising days of the past, but most of us have kids now. We don’t really have that much in common any more, but I still enjoy it. Can’t really say they are narrow minded or bigots, but they do like football… I’m not anti football, it just doesn’t interest me. It is good to have mates to be childish with, keeps me young,maybe.

golf, god and f1..?

get ’em sectioned

mine happend as i got older and i found i was the only one making the effort. Driving to see them, ringing, texting etc… They didn’t call/text me … until i texted them…

I decided to wait and see how long it would take before some of them made the effort… 2 weeks or so later…

I then decided not to bother… 🙂

My thoughts these days are that the only people i NEED are my missus and my nipper… the rest are a bonus who may be here a month, or a decade.. who knows.

My old beloved best friend got in touch recently and hes a really big cheese at a Plc. Hes really into money and talks success. Kinda at juxtaposition to how I remember him.

I have some other friends who are faintly racist now. People change don’t they? Peoples tastes change as they get older. Certain small weaknesses of character come to the fore as (some) people become bitter about life.

Whats wrong with golf or F1 though?

I have friends who are mental about football. Its not my thing but we come together on our shared love of wine, women and song

We’ve all been there, just bin them and move on.

Jesus, hora just used “juxtaposition” in a sentence. Are you ok fella? 😛

justatheory? Where do you live? It sounds like you need to go all ‘Philconsequnce’ and organise an STW ride in your area.

I can guranatee that if you touch 10 of the attendees knobs at least 1 of them will like it.

agreed, cupping is the fastest way to make friends.

Well I am now feeling alittle lackadaisical again now.

final straw was when I had my son, not one of them made any effort to come and see him. Haven’t spoken to them in a year.

Ditto, amazing how you think you know someone only to be proved so badly wrong

weeksy – Member
mine happend as i got older and i found i was the only one making the effort. Driving to see them, ringing, texting etc… They didn’t call/text me … until i texted them…

I decided to wait and see how long it would take before some of them made the effort… 2 weeks or so later…

I then decided not to bother… A whole 2 weeks???? I have friends I haven’t spoken to in 6 months!!

I think you’re looking at this the wrong way round and IMO it comes down to how you view friendship.

Is a friend someone who b*ggers off when they find they aren’t getting from you what they want? or is a friend someone whose faithfulness to you is something that you don’t have to earn? Even if that means you’re always the one making the first move towards them!

I’ve had a few friends who never grew up from Uni (drink/drugs) and another couple who grew up too much.

I’ve found a happy medium is to not take anything too seriously.

I’ve got mates I haven’t spoken to in years, but when we do get together its great. I know if I need to get in touch with them, or ever needed them for something they’d be there in an instant. And vice versa. My best mate hasn’t spoken to me in over a year, but I get the occasional text. I don’t need him to hold my hand to prove he’s my friend, but it is nice when he does.

Most of my friends are from my college climbing club days. I may only see them one a year at the annual reunion weekend (we all graduated in 1979) but we just pick up where we left off. For me the most important aspect of friendship is loyalty and having held someone’s life on the end of a climbing rope certainly builds loyalty and deep trust.

I have recently come to the conclusion they are nobs. They are generally bigoted, not very bright – all don’t ‘believe’ in evolution, but believe in god – misogynistic, casually racist and think people who ride bikes are weirdos (they like golf and F1).

People on singletrack aren’t your mates.

samuri – Member

People on singletrack aren’t your mates.

that’s not what you said to me before that special evening

I didn’t hear you complaining.

Mind you, I did have Whitney on maximum volume on my ipod.

I’ve got some mates on singletrack

Jesus, hora just used “juxtaposition” in a sentence. Are you ok fella?

Not sure he used it correctly though.

Not believing in evolution – never met anyone like that but fallen out with a guy who’s into homeopathy. I think of him when I hear Tim Minchin’s song ‘Storm’.

Not believing in evolution – never met anyone like that but fallen out with a guy who’s into homeopathy. I think of him when I hear Tim Minchin’s song ‘Storm’.

I got a mate who believes that if you can’t disprove something (i.e. proving a negative) then it most probably exists. You name it and he’ll always hedge his bets. God, homeopathy, scientology, sentient alien bananas that ride on the back of time-travelling ducks? Maybe… He won’t say what it is he believes because he sort-of believes in *everything*. 😆

I have a bunch of mates that I’ve known since nursery. I don’t agree with everything they do, we don’t have any real common interests anymore (we went through school and college together and were still in the same area through university). I can’t converse much with them, but they’re still good mates and we still get together very 6-12 months and have a good drink and catch up. But I couldn’t meet them every week like I used to, and think it’s best that way.

Mates eh..

My first best mate died in a road accident, I don’t hear from him anymore, my second best mate shagged my (then) g/f, i don’t hear from either of them anymore, my third best mate borrowed a lot of money from me, I don’t hear from him anymore, my forth best mate is still my best mate but we don’t talk that often but he’s there and he knows I’m here too.
I have loadsa “mates” at the Club, not all of them I’d care to share my innermost.. but the vast majority I probably would but choose not to.
My fifth best mate is MrsBouy, I see her a LOT.

I had a wide social circle some years ago, then I stopped shoving coke up my nose and took the opportunity to observe everybody else doing it and morphing into complete arses in front of my eyes…

Moved on. Quickly.

It happens.

It took a relationship breakup five years ago to begin to realise that the only ties to some friendships of two or three decades standing was the respective shared histories, when some of my friends allied themselves with my ex-g/f and shut me out in the cold without even bothering to ask me my side of the story.

Eighteen months ago, my stepson was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and not one of my so called “mates” even bothered to pick up the phone or send an email to see how things were – despite one of them having a sister with Type 1 himself.

They’re now no longer friends and I’m all the better for it.