Last week I found out that my best mate at work is having an affair with my boss’s husband.

I get on really well with my boss and have a lot of respect for her. I feel really awful for her, and I know that if/when it comes out, she will ask if I knew, because I am good friends with the other woman.

I’m thinking, I should keep quiet and deny all knowledge if asked – makes me feel a bit bad, but it’s none of my business really, I think my friend is playing with fire, and it’s going to be a disaster if it comes out, but it’s not for me to interfere.

O wise ones of STW – is this the correct course of action?

but it’s none of my business really

I’d say it is your business, given you respect your boss.

I’d want to know.

Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. Rock and a hard place. Catch 22. Pick one.

Threesome, at least you’ll get something out of it then?

is this the correct course of action?

You have 2 choices;

1) say nothing now and then be accused of knowing all along and betraying her by your boss when it eventually comes out.

2) say something now and be accused of betraying your friend.

It’s about who you want to upset least really.

Not a position I’d like to be in, tbh.

Hob nobs anyone

dob them in and get a payrise 🙂

I’d want to know.

But I’m not sure my response would be rational towards the person who told me

When your boss finds out – and boy will she find out – your best mate’s position in work will most likely become untenable. Where will that leave you, especially if your boss thinks you knew about ‘IT’?

You can’t easily rat out your mate… but perhaps a discussion with her ref. playing with fire will get her fired?

Basically, this is your mate’s deal, not yours.

I’d be telling her that.

no there is no easy fix to this situation.. you’ve been put in an awkward situation through no fault of your own..

I would use this as a sign that the cosmos has a different plan for you..
Let this be the thing that persuades you to run away and start a new life.. follow a pipe dream, and be sure to nick as much money from the company as you can to fund your adventure..

leave them to sort it out between them..

Threesome, at least you’ll get something out of it then?

😀

Send her/boss’ hubby a note?

my best mate at work

Dont worry when the boos finds out she wont work with you and a work mate is not a proper mate

How did you “find out” could the boss “find out” this way as well?

Yell your mate of your dilemma and that she has put you in the position of possibly having to lie and be dishonest. Give her an ultimatum that you will tell your boss unless it ends.

I think I might know you in real life. 😳

ROFL @ Fuzzy – think I’ll pass on that though thanks 😉

You have 2 choices;

1) say nothing now and then be accused of knowing all along and betraying her by your boss when it eventually comes out.

2) say something now and be accused of betraying your friend.

My friend does not know I know. Lets just say I saw something I wasn’t meant to see, but I don’t think they saw me. I did think perhaps my eyes deceived me, but my friend was sat in front of me in a presentation yesterday texting him. I wasn’t mistaken.

I don’t know what to do for the best. My boss and her husband are about to go on holiday together for 3 weeks – maybe the affair is a temporary bout of insanity, and it will end of its own accord, but that’s probably an unrealistic hope!

I worry that if I do say something to her, that her husband will have covered his tracks and will deny everything, as will my friend, and I’ll look like a s*** stirrer. I haven’t breathed a word to anyone at work, I am just considering my options – none of them seem good!

Incidentally, my boss and her hubby had an office affair and left their respective partners for one another a few years back…..pattern, methinks.

Tell your mate you know then see what she does.

blackmail 😉

Hang on a minute – is your boss married to Ski?

pattern, methinks.

I tend to think anyone in a relationship where one or both of them previously had an affair to get them together is deluded if they’re expecting it to never happen again.

Klunk’s on to something…

Imagine what your mate will do for you… I bet she has a better stapler – you could have that. And maybe her chair’s a little more comfortable? Have that too! Meanwhile, pass on the most cryptic of crypic comments to your boss, for back coverage purposes.

Then, you get (a) a nice stapler (b) a comfy chair and (c) immunity when the BOSS FINDS OUT. 😉

just setup a new email address and send your boss an anonymous mail telling her.

Blackmail = even Jesus wept.

Difficult to dob in your best friend.

1) Tell your boss.

2) Sleep with your boss? Is she a looker?

3) And relax.

Jesus would.

Put it on the company notice board, photos and all.

Haha camo, unfortunately my mate doesn’t have anything I want 😉

They both have kids – it’s awfully sad really.

My OH says stay out of it, pretend you know nothing, but it’s hard to do that when you’re sat next to someone and they are texting your boss’s husband in that way….and then for me to have to try and pretend our friendship is still the same. urrrgh.

Tell your boss, she will be upset, slip her one to comfort her, she then happy, you smoke cigar, job done!

edit: you have now revealed you have an OH, my suggestion may complicate things to the point of your brain exploding.

No win situation here.

Well its on the internet now, so all will be out soon.

Let your boss know in an anonymous way, so nobody knows it came from you.

Have you got a large noticeboard in the office? One they use to make really important announcements about changes to the pension scheme, and stuff……

Tell your boss, she will be upset, slip her one to comfort her

isn’t littlemisspanda a woman?

Not that comforting her boss is out of the question but I’m not sure it would be a called that?

My friend does not know I know

Given this, as difficult as it maybe, I’d agree with your OH and stay out of it…its bound to all come out sooner or later then you just have to feign surprise

My OH says stay out of it, pretend you know nothing,

No offence, but that’s because he’s a dude. He’s already thinking of the fall-out and that’s not something he wants to think about.

I know this because I, too, am a dude. 😉

On the other hand, I also inhabit an Internet forum, which means I can come up with whatever badly conceived advice makes me happy, safe in the knowledge that there will be no comeback. 😀

So, the question is this: who do you trust more?

If you’ve only seen texts are you sure there’s something actually going on?

She could be stalking him!

isn’t littlemisspanda a woman?

let me just hang on to that image a while….. 8)

All these people suggesting threesomes and “slipping the boss one” and the like – you can read the OP’s username, yes? You realise what that means? not that it’s wrong or in any way to be discouraged, just that certain acts may be a little more difficult

as to the OP – tough one. If your boss and her hubby are indeed going away, take advantage of that time to tell your pal that she’s dropped you in a situation and had better do something to ensure you’re not left in the shit

I’d stay well out of it. Its their problem when it comes out. Let them deal with the fallout. Manwell has the answer….

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6EaoPMANQM[/video]

Tell your boss gently.

If you’ve only seen texts are you sure there’s something actually going on?

See, I imagined LMP’s best mate as Linda Fiorentino, the boss’ husband as the random sucker in the Last Seduction and some fence-related steamy sex scene. 😉

If this didn’t happen, colour me disappointed.

I tend to think anyone in a relationship where one or both of them previously had an affair to get them together is deluded if they’re expecting it to never happen again.

I have known it happen with one mate who has been married to her for the past 15 years
I would imagine it is quite rare though and you get serial cheats though some folk just meet and fall in love

seriously though, I would try to erase the knowledge from my mind and then stick the blinkers on. Don’t get involved, it is difficult to see how this can possible end well for anybody, including you.

Well its on the internet now, so all will be out soon.

Yup. Because these two people are the only ones in the world having an affair.

Anyway, just rat them out via a third party. Pay some hobo £5 to make the call to your boss.

Which do you value more?

Your job and relationship with your boss?

Your friendship with your colleague?

People who have affairs are by definition cheating, so I don’t have a great deal of respect for those sorts of people. Having said that, it’s not your place or responsibility to inform any-one, they’re all adults after all. Boss is unlikely to ask you what you knew in all honesty, she’ll feel like a fool anyway, she won’t want it rubbed in face by asking you whether you were aware of it, it’ll just make her feel even more stupid.

My advice? Ask your college to call it off