After watching things nearly kick off in the car park of Lidl last week, I realised I’ve never had a fight.

Unique or just a testament to my ability to run quick? Am I missing out? Is it a rite of passage everyone should go through?

I have, for the record, been punched in the face on a bus by bigger boys.

Depends what you mean by fist fight.

If you mean getting punched in the face, then about 12 years. If you mean punching someone in the face, never 😀

About 30 years ago – with both my brothers (my younger one was only about 14 at the time so he didn’t get involved) and we were goaded by a couple of drunks because we were driving a flash car (it was our dad’s basic Ford Sierra FFS) and my elder brother shouted ‘come over here and say that’ (thanks John).

Next thing I had one guy in a head lock and was repeatedly punching him in the face thinking ‘I am wearing slippers and am in a fight’ – that’s story for another day) then saw my brother throw the other guy over a low wall and dive over after him LOL!

We came out well on top in the fight but they had the last laugh as one of them kicked the wing of the car as we drove off.

Since then I have found myself squaring up to people about 2 or 3 times (but not for a long time now – too old for that silliness) but they have backed down. I guess it is because of my size… I am 5’8” and weigh about 10.5st so they must assume that know how to handle myself otherwise I wouldn’t be so stupid. Thing is I don’t know how to handle myself at all and I have just called their bluff. Thankfully it never back-fired on my otherwise I could have well and truly had my arse handed to me on a plate.

In my late 20’s, I am now in my late 40’s.

don’t often find violence amusing but johndoh that made me laugh out loud

Related to Mister P’s road rage thread?

Me, probably about 30 years ago, early days of high school.

Though I know of people my age and older who regularly do get into fist fights, frequenting pubs where there are regular invitations to “to show them outside” between locals. Speaking to my builder the other day about his company’s xmas do last year, ended in a brawl outside a local pub with a few in hospital, was a good night apparently. He’s in his 50’s 😯

I once protected a very nice girlfriend of mine from a bully trying to lift her skirt up in the playground, punched him smack bang on the nose and knocked him out.. (this was before Back to the Future film, so I’m claiming it)

Since then I had some git in a bar in Manchester chuck a pint over me whilst i was chatting with another nice girlfriend of mine, I turned to face him and he smirked at me and went for a punch and i ducked and he hit the brass pole holding up the glasses shelf.. oh how I and many others laughed.

I got all shirty with someone who was in the wrong at a sailing event many years ago, and got kicked off the event for retaliating.. ( he came at me with a 420 spinnaker pole and tried to joust me with it) he didn’t get booted off and we still occasionally bump into each other to this day on various events.. he’s still a git and for some reason i want revenge after all this time.

So it seems I’m a protector not an instigator.

was jumped by a gang of ‘youths’ 4 years ago walking home after a lock in. Own fault should have got a cab.

First chap had something in his hand, so I kicked it out, second chap had a roundhouse to the stomach, then first chap had a roundhouse to the face which was dumb as I was drunk in work shoes so I fell over and got several kicks on the ground before I could get back to my feet.

Bit of a standoff whilst attackers 3 and 4 helped carry attacker 1 away. Left me with attacker 2 and a couple of others ‘holding him back’. Took some comments about my mum, looking like a tramp and being polish before they got bored.

All within about 50m of a local police station….

First thing my wife said when I got in – what if they all had knives.

I get taxis through rough parts of town now.

I never realised Chuck Norris had an account on here.

Last time I was in an actual fight fight was probably at school. I attribute my continued longevity to the fact I can do a standing 40 yards faster than anyone else I’ve ever met.

All within about 50m of a local police station….

My younger brother, who loves a punch-up, was getting cash out af an ATM about 50 yards from the Police Station.
He turned around, tucking the cash into his wallet and was faced with two teenagers who demanded he hand the cash over or they would give him a good kicking.

He refused.

Five minutes later, he dragged both of them into the police station by the scruff of their necks. They weren’t looking their best.
All captured on the ATM and town centre CCTV cameras. Clearly a case of self defence and the application of reasonable force.

Not Chuck Norris but used to represent GB in tkd back in the day, and used to spar a lot…

never thrown a punch in anger. I would be crap in a fight.

got jumped once by 10-15 lads. They just wanted a scrap, I knew some of them probably had knives if we fought back, me and my friend took a few punches and they got bored and moved on to the next suckers. Nothing too serious but shook us up a bit.

Apart from that I’ve generally found it very easy not to be in fights. I realized that fights don’t normally come looking for you, you have to put yourself in their path

15 years ago, in my last competitive rugby game.
myself and a old adversary, who I had a lot of run in’s with, were both playing our last game. we had a proper toe to toe.
we then drank a gallon of ale together in the pub after the game.

does it count if your mates with them?

Jamie – Member

Unique or just a testament to my ability to run quick? Am I missing out? Is it a rite of passage everyone should go through?

Some people are snide, conceited and arrogant because they wrongly assume they can fight, or that people won’t be so bold as to fight with them. Those types of people probably deserve a wake up call.

Such as it was the last time I was involved in a fight (4 years ago maybe). I gave someone way to much leeway to be aggressive with me, which I tolerated, which led to shoving, which I tolerated, which led to me lying in a ditch getting kicked in the head. At that point I decided to do something and it ended very very badly for the other guy.

I’ve never started a fight, never thrown the first punch but I’m also incapable of backing down from one; hence I’ve been in many many streetfights. Not proud of that especially, but also not ashamed. i’m convinced I saved my friends life which meant engaging 6 members of the UVF single handed until my friend got off the ground. Two on six and we kicked the complete shit out of them. Two more showed up and we dealt with them too 😈

Crazy times.

Just back from bjj so I’ve been strangled several times already this morning – any violent urges are kept well in check.

Not Chuck Norris but used to represent GB in tkd

ok, but how do you know how to fight?

Nightclub in my 30s. Lad had fondled my mate’s girlfriend in the club, so my mate went after him. Tall bloke tried to help his mate and got (according to another friend!) a combo of 6 punches off me, which bloodied his nose and then my girlfriend jumped on his back 😆 I used to do some training so the punches came quite naturally. Not sure what would have happened if he’d had the chance to fight back. Last time I got hit was when my younger brother and I got attacked by 6 scumbags for no reason. One punched me so I threw him in the road where he was narrowly avoided by a car and we ran. I think I was 14 or 15. Should’ve lumped him with my skateboard.

I got a smack in the face 20 odd years ago by a mugger in Birmingham but that’s as close to a fight as I’ve got. Being 5ft 10 and 11 stone doesn’t lend itself to violence.

Related to Mister P’s road rage thread?

I’d honestly not seen that. Will go have a read.

does it count if your mates with them?

….or brothers?

The last full on punch up I was involved with was with my older brother, when I was in my early twenties.
I’d ironed a pair of trousers for a job interview, went to work on a night shift and when I came in next morning, they were gone.
My older brother had worn then and gone out clubbing. He didn’t return for three days during which my rage festered. When I finally caught up with him we was lying in bed and I was just in off the nightshift. He refused to engage in a grown up conversation with me and rolled over in bed and ignored me.

I turned the bed upside down, with him still in it and then a full scale fight erupted in our shared bedroom.
My younger brother watched it all bleary eyed from the top bunk. The sound of a wardrobe being tipped over alerted our parents to the the disturbance and my Dad broke us up before the biting started.

I’m not proud of it.

“how to fight”

I’d agree with you if you think it is like the modern bollox you see in the Olympics. It wasn’t always like that ‘back in the day’. I used to try to win by knock out, not pointy tappy stuff.

I would also cross train in boxing, judo, muay thai had a play with kung fu/jkd and karate as well, preferred tkd, and alwsays did best in tkd competitions hence why I ended up pursuing that one.

Anyway I don’t actively train any more as I got hacked off with the politics of it all, and fat useless people paying subs and being a black belt in 2 years…

More than 10 years ago, maybe 15. A long time anyway. I ‘won’ or lost less than the other guy anyway. It hurt a lot.

Ah, perchy.. reminds me of home 😀
My older brother once did something to enrage me – I put my Doc Martens on and went out into the garden screaming “Come on then! Come and fight me!”.
He couldn’t move for hysterical laughter. Luckily. (Not sure for him or me, probably me.)

Secondary school, maybe 11 or 12, so over 35 years ago….

Ah, perchy.. reminds me of home

I want my trousers back.

Not Chuck Norris but used to represent GB in tkd back in the day, and used to spar a lot…

it was the roundhouses which amused me, was all. (-:

I realized that fights don’t normally come looking for you, you have to put yourself in their path

Sadly not always true. Some folk are just out for a scrap.

Walking through Burnley town centre a good few years ago with a mate, a gang of about six lads plotted an intercept course with us. As they got close to passing us, one of them shouted something like “bump him!” One lad then shoulder-checked me. I swung round to look at him, and he punched me in the face.

They started to circle round us. I did the maths, my mate and I looked each other, I said “run!” and we both pegged it down the street with the scrotes in hot pursuit.

Unfortunately for the scrotes, at that point about 20 of my other mates came pouring out of the biker bar we were heading for. Our aggressors suddenly disappeared for some reason.

It’s easy not to provoke trouble, but sometimes it just comes knocking. My only crime that day was wearing a leather jacket.

was jumped by a gang of ‘youths’ 4 years ago walking home after a lock in. Own fault should have got a cab.

Classic case to STW victim-blaming 🙂

My only crime that day was wearing a leather jacket.

The one time you go out without your gun….

I had an incident a couple of years back where I was walking out of the petrol station shop there’s no pathway as you leave the shop so I was walking as close to the wall as possible and some bloke in a white van was speeding through the forecourt and missed me by what seemed to me like cms. I called him a see you next Tuesday. He jumped out of his van and I was about to ask him WTF he was doing and before I could even say anything took a swipe at me, which I managed to mostly dodge so it was nothing more than a glancing blow to the side of my head. I then punched him square in the solar plexus and he fell back and sat on his backside, so must’ve winded him. He sprang up and I was expecting him to come back at me but he just got in his van and wheelspinned out of the garage.
I was pretty shocked afterwards and was worried he might follow me home so I walked round the block a few times to make sure he wasn’t. Thankfully never saw him again and the 3 big bottles of Stella I’d been at the garage to buy were unharmed

Where did you find that picture of Cougar?

Where did you find that picture of Cougar?

Mrsfry’s fridge.

It was on there with little magnets in the shape of handcuffs.

It’s funny because it’s true.

Ah, perchy.. reminds me of home

Me too. I once had a fight with my older brother (that same John I mentioned above) where I (briefly) came out on top (I had hit his head so hard against a wall that a tooth was knocked out) and we were the only people in the house at the time so there was no-one to protect me.

Bearing in mind we used to call him Johnny Rambo due to his rage, he flipped out big time. I ran off and locked myself in the bathroom and waited it out until he calmed and stopped trying to beat it down. I eventually plucked up the courage to run into our bedroom to grab some pens and paper then went back into the safety of the bathroom where I wrote a big sign saying ‘HELP! JOHN’S GOING TO KILL ME’ and waited for my mum and dad to come home.

When I was his Best Man I regaled the guests with that story 🙂

LEAVE IT DARREN!!!! EEES NOT WORF IT!!!!!!!

Growing up I seemed to be a fights most weeks, then nothing until a couple of yrs ago a car driver (half my age)knocked me off my bike (left tun across me) decided it was my fault so when I stood up he punched me few times.

I rang the police which caused him to get out of his car again, this time I didn’t give him chance to land another punch and hit him half a dozen times around head and body until he was on the ground and submissive.

Police came witnesses said it was self defence, he got done and some bruises, I got several days of guilt and worry I may have hurt the fool. No one wins in fights, if you lose it hurts and if you win it hurts.

2012. With a metal chair. I lost. In hindsight and in my (admittedly poor) defence I was very, very drunk. The chair wasn’t. Not a fair fight. But it tripped me over on purpose, and then to add insult to injury continued to grab my legs and make a good account of itself by repeatedly slamming my face into the ground . Hard bastard as well.

Had lots of fights , I suspect it was because I like to have the last word and used to be pretty lippy after a few drinks . I like to think I won more than I lost but I did get a broken jaw once , lost a tooth once and hospitalised with concussion once . The last fight I had was in 1982 in Strathpeffer in a hotel bar called the Caberfeidh . I got there with 4 others , 3 of whom were girls . There were 4 blokes on the next table to us who were well drunk and being a bit of a pain . 1 of them asked 1 of the girls I was with if she had a cigarette and when she offered her pack he took 4 and handed them to his mates who thought it was funny , they also thought it was funny that I drank his pint while he was handing out the cigarettes although he wasn’t so amused and offered me outside . I stood up , he stood up , his 3 mates stood up and the bloke I was with stayed sat down . I thought it was going to end badly for me but in the confusion 3 of my potential opponents went out the front door while the other went out the back so I followed him , gave him a quick pasting ( he was pretty drunk ) then jumped in my car picked up my friends and drove home .

I drank his pint while he was handing out the cigarettes

then jumped in my car picked up my friends and drove home .

I was on your side right up until the drink driving. 😉

Sadly not always true. Some folk are just out for a scrap.

I’d completely forgotten about an incident about 10 years ago.

Walking along a canal into town. 3 young blokes coming the other way, all a fair bit bigger than me. I step to one side to let them pass and one deliberately shoulders me. I ignore it, walk on, give a bit of a shake of the head. Next thing the 3 guys run over to me and the one that shouldered me squares up asking if I’ve got a problem with him (probably trying to impress his mates – though squaring up to me isn’t going to impress anyone!) I try and defuse the situation but the next thing I know the guy swings a punch at me, I step back to avoid but stumble and land on my arse cutting my hand on some stones. The 3 of them start moving in. I get up and leg it. They give chase but give up fairly quickly.

Sometimes you really are just in the wrong place at the wrong time when someone’s out looking for a fight 😕

Edit… actually that reminds me of a story about my mate who was jumped and beaten up by a guy while outside a kebab shop late one night for no apparent reason, fractured his skull. Turns out the guy was out celebrating his first night out from prison having severed a sentence for GBH. He was back in soon enough.

I lost my rag with one of my school mates when I was 12 and punched him in the stomach – he was goading me, but I was totally in the wrong. That has stayed with me for some reason – I felt totally lost and stupid all day after that because it was purely down to a loss of control on my part and could have ended a friendship.

Since then, once, I was on the receiving end of a fight. Usual situation, me and a mate had had too much to drink – we decided to chat to a couple of girls outside a kebab shop. One or two suggestive comments were made (which they didn’t seem to mind) – their boyfriends who were stood within earshot did mind. Anyway a protracted chase-scuffle-chase ensued in which one of these lads nutted me. I was so drunk I didn’t feel it and asked him what he thought he was doing, so he showed me again (and got it right second time around).

It could have escalated, and I reckon I could have sorted him out, but his mates were on the periphery and seemed to be waiting for an excuse, so apologies were made, a cab came along at an opportune moment and we jumped in.