….lads lads lads.
She wasn’t impressed with;
The amount of pints consumed
The fact I hadnt had foodage
The other lads
The fact I was where I said I might be
My ability to eat all the cheese on toast.
Where did I go wrong….

Always tell her n-3 for pintage. Cheese on toast…great call 🙂 probably went wrong after the 4th pint BTW

I once came home and tried to make cheese on toast by putting a slice of bread and whole block of cheese in the microwave…

^. You almost made lazymunchies.

First toast bread in toaster.
Put cheese on plate.
Microwave plate until cheese bubbles in a molten pool of, er, cheese.
Remove plate from microwave.

Slap toast down onto molten cheese. Turn it over. Eat. (use a butter knife or even fingers to make a neater job)

Dab of hot sauce for the best dipping experience.

Where did I go wrong….

You got married.

Mrs Scape always used to come and pick me up from our monthly team night out. It wasn’t that she was particularly dutiful, half the reason was because she hated the thought of wasting money on taxis. However, the monthly team night out used to start when our last early shift finished at 2pm and ended when the clubs closed at 2am. She was immensely patient when I got into the car with the obligatory carnation from the curry-house, and surprisingly silent when I suggested a quick six or seven mile detour to drop off a colleague at Cleckheaton or wherever.

The conversation to make arrangements always went along the lines of “Do you want picking up?”
“Yes please.”
“where from?”
“Usual place, Coliseum steps at half two if that’s OK?”
“Yes, see you then. Don’t offer anyone else a lift, I’ve got to be up for work.”

Until the time I decided to be a smartarse.
“Do you want picking up?”
“Yes please.”
“Where from?”
“Coliseum steps at half-two unless I’ve pulled.”
“See you at half-two then .”

Microwaving cheese on toast is the only thing I can see wrong so far.

1/ Toast bread
2/ Slice cheese
3/ Butter toast
4/ Distribute cheese
5/ GRILL toast with cheese until just melted
6/ Eat

Scapegoat …you were able to buy tinned milk from the curry house at 2.00am ?..
Had you not had enough to drink by then 😆

In one of my mum’s shit magazines the tip of the week was for cheese on toast.
Put cheese on bread. Place toaster on it’s side and insert the bread and cheese.
And we are surprised Leave won?

You guys forgot to pour a few teaspoons of vinegar on it post microwave…

I assume the kebab shop was shut…

Proper lols @ scapegoat 😆

Top tip, make your own way home !

+1 Proper lols @ scapegoat

Birds in Halifax, you’d have had your wicked way before 230 round back of the acca, then she’d have gone for an XL kebab.

The last time my good wife picked me up in Leeds she wasn’t quite as impressed by my oldest pub in Leeds commemorative pint glass

5/ GRILL toast with cheese until just melted

5a, as long as angry spouse is still up to supervise / fight inevitable fire as you nod off on the sofa with the grill still going

Did you not finish the night by uttering the immortal words ‘d’ya know whaa? I fuggin’ love you! Na, naaaa…. I really fuggin do!’

If not, that’s where you went wrong

I was to meet OH and her parents for a curry at 6pm one evening after a going away do that started at 1. I’d had a telling off about the state I was in before even getting in the curry house. Apparently using the wall and an outstretched hand are a sure fire give away of having had one too many. I truthfully answered the “how many pints?” with “4”, but being cunning she quickly ascertained that I’d also had 5 whiskys, all of them doubles. I fell asleep in my curry. I did a lot of jobs around the house that month.

What did you order? a madras?*

*awful joke where you say it like “matress” IGMC

MrsB always cranks the car heater’s up when she has to pick me up drunk, it ensures that within 5 minutes of the journey she only has to tolerate my snoring.

First toast bread in toaster.
Put cheese on plate.
Microwave plate until cheese bubbles in a molten pool of, er, cheese.
Remove plate from microwave.

Slap toast down onto molten cheese. Turn it over. Eat. (use a butter knife or even fingers to make a neater job)

… drop the whole thing on the kitchen counter and smash plate on floor – stick whole face on counter and sort of lick and inhale at the same time.

Ah fond memories of a girl I met at college – she was welsh and so drunk she’d forgotten how to speak english or use any kind of plate, fork or hand to eat food. What a catch.

Once got a bit rained upon transiting from the pub to a mate’s engagement party. I still reckon his elderly aunt in fact did enjoy talking to a completely naked man in the kitchen.

Where did I go wrong….

You married your mother.

[video]https://youtu.be/bqbRp599VYs[/video]

Birds in Halifax, you’d have had your wicked way before 230 round back of the acca, then she’d have gone for an XL kebab.

From Get Stuffed! If its still going?

I can offer the flip side to this.

I once had a ‘distress’ call from my wife to say she was drunk and by some traffic lights in Bristol. I roughly knew where they were intending to go so headed there and found he sat against a wall looking forlorn.

I got her into the car, pulled away and she promptly wound the window down and threw up all down the side of my car!

Make cheese sandwich, put into toastie bag, put into toaster, toast, eat. Doesn’t get much simpler.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzDML_mb4zE[/video]