Had a curler in my custard and a moth in my salad.
Let loose your tales of horror.

Fish.

A pizza from Pizza Hut.

Moth wouldn’t bother me, actually a pube is probably better than a bit of chewed fingernail.

Mushrooms.

A mushroom.

Lorne sausage, which is the work of the devil.

Out with a lass I in my yoof. We went to a butty shop and purchased her lunch.

She had a habit of always taking a look inside shop sarnies, nothing dramatic, just opening the bread and having a peek.

Probably saved her life on this occasion.

Opened up her flaked salmon sarnie to find a whole load of shattered safety glass.

Apparently cabinet had smashed earlier etc etc. Had we been older than 17 we’d probably have kicked off more; as it was, a refund, free sarnie and drink we took as a reasonable recompense.

A live ant inside a peach.

Half a beetle.

Celery.

Lorne sausage, which is the work of the devil.

Behave yerself. Braised in gravy with loads of onion and black pepper, it is heavenly!.

Fish.

This

My parents have human turds in their white bread I kid you not. 😆

My mum bought a loaf of bread from a bread seller (in far east) and when she got home to open the plastic bag she could smell strong human turds. My father confirmed that. She then realised the bread was mixed with human turds and promptly return it to the baker the next day. Yes, she kept as evidence until the next day.

The story goes, apparently dissatisfied employees shat on the bread to sabotage the employer.

😆

Unexpected black olive.

Toenail

+1 olives

Suspiciously eartag like bit of blue plastic in a burger.

A large piece of fingernail in an aero. That was 20 yrs ago and never eaten one since.
Maggots in a pack of tesco chicken. Never shopped there again.
Usual wildlife in salad.
Grub in an apple. Still reluctant to eat them. Tend to cut them up first.

Found a screw in a curry, the owner then went on to blame me for planting it in there to get a free curry

A live ant inside a peach.

I found a whole bloody load of them in a peach when I was a kid – put me off them for years

Found a dead moth in my beer glass once – at the end of the pint 🙁

Little white maggots in my carelessly-stored (magic) mushrooms.

a large tuft of human? hair incorporated into my baguette from the work canteen

the end of a rubber glove, inside an m&s chorizo pasta salad from a service station (dunno if there was a finger inside it…)

Little white maggots in my carelessly-stored (magic) mushrooms.

did you notice them after you’d taken them?

mate found a dead frog in a bag of salad once.

Mould on a bacon sandwich from the BV cafe at Cannock Chase.

Another unexpected food horror was when a colleague came back from snowboarding in the Alps with treats. He’d bought back a bag of something that looked like sweet biscuits with a cream filling – the packaging was in French, and I’d done German at school, so I was oblivious to the actual content. Turned out it was a savoury biscuit with a processed goat’s cheese filling.

You might think, “That sounds OK.” It wasn’t.

It really wasn’t.

did you notice them after you’d taken them?

No, thankfully. I was seriously tempted to just man-up and eat the lot, but decided it probably wasn’t the best way to start a trip.

Back in the day I bought a big plate of chips from the college canteen.

Added plenty of salt and vinegar and tucked in. Thought it was odd that the chips tasted more of mint sauce (as-in minty vinegar).

All explained when I dug in deeper and found chewing gum melted all over the lower chips. It had obviously fallen out of the slavering gob of the dinner lady as she fried them up. Quality. Not.

A piece of hairy meat in a steak n kidney pie. Thats not a euphemism

Slivers of glass in a baked potato at a pub. No apology but after a bit of to and fro he begrudgingly offered to pick it out for me – not a new potato you understand, just the old one with his assurance he had found all the bits. Wasn’t entitled to a refund apparently. Personally if I’d have served up a plate of broken glass I’d have been offering up the services of my wife to ensure I didn’t get sued.

We didn’t go the legal route…..more the dirty protest route.

definitely fish

A tooth in a sausage, gravel in a lettuce which broke my tooth, a fish inside a fish.

A spider in a box of bananas when i worked for Tesco.

johndoh – Member
A live ant inside a peach.

My sister bit into a peach to find a dead slug wrapped around the stone.

A tooth in a sausage, gravel in a lettuce which broke my tooth

Good job you had a spare from the sausage eh

What’s all the fish phobia?

Tongue.

Tongue that hadn’t been cleaned properly, so there was a bizarre French kissing sensation as I chewed and cow taste buds rolled around my mouth.

What’s all the fish phobia?

It tastes absolutely vile.

Mushrooms too. Bloody Marks & Spencer steak and ale pie. No you idiots its a steak, ale and mushroom pie. Bastards ruined my dinner.

Let’s not forget the stealth tomato in every pre packed sandwich.

An absence of chilli

I lived with a girl who kept a pet Cockatiel..

I was sat in the living room eating a coronation chicken salad baguette one afternoon, and thought I’d dropped a bit of the filling onto my t-shirt..
I quickly picked it off and shoved it my gob only to encounter the foulest and bitterest taste sensation I have ever had the misfortune to endure..

The squawking, screeching, violent, insanely jealous little demon had crapped on me from above.. 😈

(I’m not sure why I felt the need to mention her pet bird at the beginning of the post)

Blood – in a chicken Kiev served in a pub.

Unexpected custard in what looked like delicious hand made profiteroles. I very nearly cried.