Took out a platoon of chic lunching ladies with a single enigmatic smile.

I have ridden my bike on a footpath

For pnotoon read pontoon

I’ve never used spellcheck.

stuff ive never been convicted for,

Most guilty…a few years ago platform shoes were all the rage. The bigger the better for some of the girls round my way.

Anyway, went to the cinema one Friday and saw a younger girl with massive platforms, pointed laughed and walked past. As I looked back I saw it was only on one shoe, the other was quite normal ie. she had one shoe built up due to a shorter leg.

No malice was intended but I still shudder when I remember her face.

A long time ago, I ran over a kitten, on a motorbike. I was on a motorbike obviously, not the kitten.

I shot the sherrif
(but I didn’t shoot the deputy)

Drove a number of people home from a rave in 88 when I should have not been at the wheel of a car under any circumstances and various other things which are forever to remain in the past.

Hmm, unfortunately too many to list, top 3 i think about regularly

Shot my brother-in-law
Nearly killed a woman with a pair of skis
Did something I shouldn’t have done to pass my driving test.

Did something I shouldn’t have done to pass my driving test.

Woah

I walked past a girl who had just been hit by a car. This was about 20 years ago when I was in primary school, but I can’t fathom why I didn’t stop

SaxonRider – Member
I once shot a frog with an airgun.

Didn’t give him chance to surrender? Maybe nick his cheese.

Lied to my dad about walking into a friend’s house without knocking and subsequently getting told off by my friend’s mum.

My dad believed me when I said I did knock and he rang her up to tell her she was a ‘miserable old lizard’.

Thinking back, perhaps he didn’t care if I was telling the truth and just wanted to tell her anyway 🙂

Reading the above it’s apparent that I was a bad, bad boy. I’m very good now though.

i’ve chosen the wrong university 🙁

People lead such different lives. It is amazing how well behaved the majority were on here.

Good job I have calmed down and become more sensible as i’ve got older.

Oh yeah, I once banged loudly with my fists on the back of a plastic sheet bus stop when a bunch of old ladies were stood on the other side.

I think I was just feeling a bit punk rock at that moment. My friends weren’t impressed though. 😳

People lead such different lives. It is amazing how well behaved the majority were on here.

It’s amazing how well behaved people will admit to being on an internet forum.

It’s amazing how well behaved people will admit to being on an internet forum.

I’m a member of another forum where a similar question has been asked. The answers were quite different to what is being said here………..

stolen elfin’s ‘wunhundred’

When my mum was in a wheelchair dying of cancer I used to stay with her and take her out for walks. Every time we came across one of those “community transport” buses in the street we’d line up at the back next to the tail lift and slap the bodywork to call the driver. While said driver was getting up we’d leg it round the corner or behind a hedge and giggle while he couldn’t work out where his passengers had gone.

bikebouy – Member
I’ve pulled a girls hair whilst in assembly<snip>

That would be OK except you were the teacher 🙂

I went up against a work colleague for a job at work. She never stood a chance at getting the job because the interviewers had given me the questions in advance. Shortly after I got the job we started seeing each other and more than once she mentioned how well she thought her interview had gone. the job totally changed my career path and she is still where she was then.

We’ve been married for 8 years and I have never had the bottle heart to tell her.

I’m a member of another forum where a similar question has been asked. The answers were quite different to what is being said here….

May be members of that forum don’t meet up or know each other?

I once drove home after three pints of Grolsch, and realised I really shouldn’t be driving. The drink/drive laws weren’t like now. The worst thing was breaking the heart of a girl I really, really loved, but didn’t realise that at the time. She does still talk to me if we meet, to my amazement.

“Worst” in whose book?

Got away with a couple of things that would have <edit>…

Oh, and I’ve deeply offended some religious people, apparently.

That’ll do for now.

2retro4u
Marin County, Cali

I stole a Steinway piano.

By accident. (I’m a piano mover.)

What are the odds that two houses next door to each other would both have Steinway grand pianos, leave the doors unlocked with no one home, and have poorly marked street numbers?

Apparently 100%.

(I didn’t shoot the sheriff, but I think I may have eaten the posse.)

How the hell can you steal a piano? 😯

Got so pi88ed off with my uni housemates lack of hygiene and constant stealing of food.. so pi88ed off i took a photo of all their collective toothbrushes shoved up my arse, and posted them the photo after i’d left………..

Of all the things you could have chosen to make your point, you chose to shove them up your arse. How odd!

Just wanted to give them a ‘taste’ of the shite they’d all put me through!

Not proud, but felt justly avenged….. 😈

Did you bollocks do that captaincarbon.

Infinite Jest is a great book though, if that’s were you got the idea from.

I worked with a guy who was an utter, backstabbing swine who mounted a bit of a hate campaign against various people, which resulted in two folks resigning before he started on me. He was never less than nice to my face, but emails were circulated amongst other things.

During one very hot and sticky summer afternoon he went out of the office for a while, so I did the mature and sensible thing and used his coffee mug as a codpiece for a few hours. Did I mention that my office was very hot and sticky?

His mug was dipped in the deeply unpleasant office lav a few times too.

Garry Lager.. Hate to dissapoint you but never heard of the book…

You flossed recently?

Age 16

Posted a note to the local church saying my mate was dying and only had a few days left.

Sunday afternoon

Doorbell rings at my mate’s house

His mum answers and discovers the minister with a big bunch of flowers. She invites him in. He asks how my mate is. His confused mum says he’s in a lot of pain and in bed (he’s injured himself playing volleyball the day before)

Discussion ensues

The penny drops

I’m in a lot of trouble

whimsically expressed a desire for a hard winter without first considering the plight of our nation’s homeless..

@user-removed

Did I go to school with you?

Cant have been that many churches burned down by schoolchildren and I know a man who did 🙂

Quite a few things that I won’t add here. 🙂

Probably the biggest regret is saying a few things to an ex that I was head-over-heels about, as we were splitting up. It was nothing particularly nasty, I didn’t mean it and it was just for effect, but the look on her face still makes me cringe inwardly. Amazingly we still spoke for a while afterwards and I genuinely wish her all the best with her current long-term partner. I’ve never had the bottle to apologise though, and after seven years I think an email out of the blue saying ‘sorry!’ might be a little odd.

May be members of that forum don’t meet up or know each other?

Nope a lot of them do, they are just not as judgemental as some on here.

shot my friend just under armpit with a berry from an airgun.

i was just a complete bar steward at around ages 11-13. broken into houses, stolen stuff, that kind of thing. wtf was i thinking…? thank god i saw sence and stopped in the end, god knows what wouldve happend if id have kept hanging around with, come to think of it, this one guy 😐