Not your standard run-of-the-mill ****-wittery, but really outstanding examples

I just turned onto the Princess Parkway to be confronted by a bloke in a Nissan Micra driving the wrong way down one of the busiest dual carriageways in the city. He seemed blissfully oblivious to the wild gesticulations of other drivers, and pootled merrily on his way

Whats more, the only way he could have got onto it was via a roundabout 😯

I did manage to roll an Opel Manta so far off a road they had to use a crane to get it out 😳

Jesus, which dual carriageway? Uptowards Hulme?

my ex father-in-law, the most shockingly inept driver i've ever witnessed. no confidence, no ability, and no sense of direction either. when faced by a flyover he had to lie across the floor in the back while his wife drove the 3-400 yards up in the sky.

Lady on her mobile phone, whilst trying to read a map, whilst driving through Dartford Tunnel.

Two dickheads dueling with each other on the A24 a few years ago. Looked like one had gotten pi55ed off with being overtaken by the other, so they decided to steam along trying to virtually ram each other off the road. Really weird to watch, especially as there was a fair amount of morning traffic around too. Continued for about 2-3 miles.

Maybe not the worst I've seen but most memorable was a guy driving through the middle of Birmingham while speaking on 2 mobiles, one in each hand.

Look I was lost, alright!

I'm not saying who, but I've been in a car with someone who really thinks they are a good diver, but in reality has absolutely no skill at all.
They spend all their time either flat out on the gas, or hard on the brakes, and really is a danger, but just can't see it. Too close, too hard, too fast, no observation, no concentration, no smoothness. An utter mess.
I've been in their car a couple of times, once in heavy traffic, and I was absolutely scared witless. Never again, if I can possibly avoid it. I'd rather walk.

I'm the sort of driver who is told 'you have less than 2,000 miles left on them pads sir'…but makes them last 10,000 min…

Binners will attest to my slow but smooth driving 😉

I'm scared of driving at the minute after Hora road raged me

😉

On the M1 South just before Sheffield, someone so close to the van in front I genuinely thought the car was on a fixed tow bar (like the ones the AA use).

He wasn't. And he was using an electric shaver.

😯

My mrs parked her cinqecento in the motorbike parking section in the parking on the Stratford on Avon gyratory…
She thought it was a very tight entrance! (that'll be because it's only for motorbikes) 🙂

Hora drives like my Gran. FACT! Its like being in slow motion. I've physically aged (grown a beard, needed a haircut) on journeys with him. Its painful.

And yes Hora it was the end of the Parkway, by the Mancunian way roundabout. Unbelievable!

Hora driving into a carpark with a height barrier, with a bike on the roofrack.

(didn't see it just heard about it 🙂 )

Went to pull out on dual carriage way. Looked left, right again etc. Went to pull out then…. noticed 8O. Four or Five lorries about car etc.

For some reason I re looked and spotted (thank god)and witnessed a shocking bit of driving.

This picture best explains it..

I'm the black square pulling on the dual carriageway wanting to go right. The red line was the path of the honda civic coming from my left on the wrong side of the dual carriageway.

PS the driver was ID'd

PPS black oblongs are lorries.

Nothing comes close to some of the things you see driving in and around Nairobi.

Buses, known locally as flying coffins, with the chassis so twisted that they appear to crab down the roads towards you.

Horrible – and don't even think of driving after dark, it's suicide!

Hora driving into a carpark with a height barrier, with a bike on the roofrack.

Someones taken an axe to that rust/moss-covered barrier now and knocked it down. I'm not surprised.

You should try driving in the Harrow area!

No joke, I've twice had drivers stop on rondabouts to let me on.

Now, tell me where, in any manual, does it tell a driver already on a roundabout to let others onto ahead of them?

That's just the UK.
Cairo in a mini cab is always hillarious, as is Manilla in a Jeepney, the journey from Pokara to Kathmandu is worth pages of tales, Delhi and Calcutta are white knuckle rides, and that's in a local tut-tut (one of which turned over whilst I was in it). In point of fact, every Indian city I've ever visited is a free for all. Siagon on the back of a bike-taxi, with 2x riders with my mate on the back of the other bike, both trying to out do each other was something else!

I do alot of miles and to be quite honest there are too many to choose from.
I do think standards are detriorating (sound like my dad!)and a specific example of this recently is peoples unwillingness to give way at roundabouts and junctions. People a lot more are simply pulling out or just joining roundabots etc not because they make a mistake but simply because they dont seem to want to give way.

redthunder – all the words not necessarily in the right order. I think I get what happened though.

Nothing comes close to some of the things you see driving in and around Nairobi.
Buses, known locally as flying coffins

We passed the remains of a crash in Zambia. Two tourist minibuses apparently crashed head on, exploded(!!), and everyone on board both was killed.

Our guide just said "It happens a lot. These are dangerous roads"

The road was quiet, flat and completely straight. 😯

No joke, I've twice had drivers stop on rondabouts to let me on.

My old grandad used to do that. He felt it was the gentlemanly thing to do.

We asked him to stop driving shortly after we found out.

On the way up to Scotland, the wife and I sat in a service station cafe and looked on in horrified silence as an old lady swept majestically onto the dual carriageway the wrong way 😯 No idea what the outcome was but we did hear sirens about 10 mins later….

In terms of day to day, consistently bad driving, I have a pal who occasionally comes riding with us and I flat refuse to get in a car with him. To his face. He drives literally two meters away from the car in front, at high speeds. He's not getting angry, he's not in a hurry, he just thinks this is perfectly acceptable road position. Scares the sh1t out of me.

Nothing comes close to some of the things you see driving in and around Nairobi.

Or any of Kenya for that matter. At least Nairobi has metalled roads. We travelled from Nairobi to Lake Navasha and it was an eye opener (apart from the fact you daren't open your eyes).

EDIT: this was in 2006 and they were building a new motorway (which had been going on for something like ten years) so traffic was routed onto dirt tracks – bikes, cars, mini buses, lorries etc all fighting for their bit of road. Vehicles would just take the route with the least pot holes and overtake one, two and three abreast and come heading straight at you, only swerving in at the last minute. I have pictures of it but unfortunately they aren't online at the moment so I can't post them up.

Once drove through a pedestrian underpass in Bracknell by mistake 😳 Couldn't see why I was getting such funny looks till I got to the other end to find only pavement or grass to coninue my journey on….

In my defence I did my basic learner driving in Zambia & can confirm what Graham said…nasty

@avdave2

It sort of makes sense. The guy was walking at the end of the day ;-).

My whole family was in the car at the time. Shook me up quite a bit.

Remember if your going to do something daft on the road… hide your index plates, wear a balaclava and hide your company name 😉

Everyone in Rome.

On roundabouts, standard practice is as follows. From the inside lane, see your exit and leave the roundabout tangentially heading towards it. Ignore other drivers until stamp on their brakes they beep wildly at you, then flip them off, presumably for having the temerity to be on the same roundabout as you.

Seriously every other car has a dent in it. Honest to god. Onb a business trip me and my colleages were in fits of laughter in the back of a taxi at the sheer bare-faced cheek of the locals.

Roma isn't so bad just takes some getting used to.
I work there quite a lot so it's normal now.

The guys from Roma say you the driving in the South is much worse..
(traffic lights are almost respected in Roma) 🙂

My mum was involved in a crash in The Cameroon.

Most roads between towns are single track and run ont he prinicple that 'might has the right of way' so the small vehicles pull onto the shoulder to let oncoming buses and lorries through.

The driver of her minibus obviously misjudged the size of the bus coming towards them as they had a head on crash.

There were 15 people on the minibus, 12 of them died. My mum had a broken neck, fractured skull, broken shoulder and hand. She was also covered in fuel.

She was initially placed in the row with the bodies until her travelling companion who 'only' had a broken leg noticed she was breathing.

She spent 3 days on a hospital bed with no mattress or medicine until an air ambulance coudl be organised and 2 weeks in a hospital in the capital until she was allowed to fly home for further treatment.

When I lived in Paris some dozy bint drove her car down the steps of the Metro station next to the office, apparently thinking it was the entrance to a car park.

And David Coulthard deserves a special mention for spinning off on the formation lap when he was on pole at Monza early on in his career.

1 week after I passed my test I decided to drive down to London and as soon as I entered London I flipped and became WORSE than the locals 😈

I even made a 4×4 driver reverse back the way he came as I decided to take a shortcut…..down a one way street. He looked gobsmacked and mrshora just shook her head. Then there was the lad who told me if I pressed my horn once more time he'd shove it down my neck….so I kept pressing it 😆

PeterPoddy – Member
I'm not saying who

Was it a black car by any chance?? 🙂

Then there was the time I went down a narrow road with cars on eitherside. Another car came my way and a disagreement ensured. Driver said you should reverse (as he was in his late 50's I wasnt going to be rude) so I said 'imposssible'. 'Why?'. 'I'm not really good with the reverse gear'. 'Have you passed your test'? 'err yes but you dont understand, I have no spatial awareness at all in reverse'.. He laughed but also a look of mild concern passed over his brow 😆 🙄

Scariest has to be heading back to our hotel in Krabi, Thailand after an evening at the local shopping district looking for fake goods. We'd had a few Changs with dinner and jumped in the cab, which was one of those crappy little pick ups with bench seting in the back and a canvas roof over the top. It's dusk and the driver's gunning the gutless little ute back along this beautiful twisting, undulating road surrounded by rainforest, when this huge artic truck begins to catch us up. As we head down into each dip in the road, we can see the truck tearing down the hill trying to build momentum, it would then get right up behind us – I could literally have reached out and touched the grille from the back of the ute – before running out of steam on the hill. He tried about 3 or 4 times before finally getting past, but it was like something straight out of Duel 😆

Or any of Kenya for that matter. At least Nairobi has metalled roads. We travelled from Nairobi to Lake Navasha and it was an eye opener (apart from the fact you daren't open your eyes).

That is the bit of road that scares me most. I had two periods of working at Naivasha (Elsamere) in the 90s. Lovely place, but a pain to drive around.

Was a passenger in a Maxi (25 years ago) which after losing one of its rear wheels on the M5, the driver decided if we all positioned ourselves outside the opposite window, he would be able to make it to the next motorway exit, we dident!

The Police vehicle that stopped us did not see the funny side, mentioned in 20 years of doing his job, he had never seen anything so dangerous!

Young farmers for you 😉

Most of the people who visit the lakes over summer and dont seem to have any idea how wide their cars are. They also dont seem to know where reverse gear is either.

Most of the people who visit the lakes over summer and dont seem to have any idea how wide their cars are. They also dont seem to know where reverse gear is either.

Or know stay to the left unless overtaking.

I rarely see driving that I would classify as really stupid, just general annoying bits and pieces. However I have been "rolling road blocked" by two chavs in "modded" hatchbacks on the M6. I assume this was some sort of attempt at humour for them, it was late at night and it was a bunch of 3 young lads in each car. I was initially quite concerned as to why they'd be doing that. When I slowed, they slowed (and I mean down to ~40 on an empty motorway), when I sped up they closed up on me. So I drove at them, at full tilt. They moved and tried to catch me. I was bordering on getting the missus to call the police.