Coffee.

Or pee. One of the two.

Wonder why this is only time I get an erection these days.

On a train to work day:
Alarm.
Wee.
Shower.
Teeth.
Dress.
Say goodbye to sleeping wife.
Downstairs.
Grab lunch and breakfast (I eat the latter on the train).
Pint of water.
Make a travel mug of coffee on the Dolce Gusto if I’m feeling particularly tired.
Walk to station.
Alarm to station is done in 25 minutes.

On a bike to work day:
Alarm.
Teeth.
Dressed.
Espresso.
Grad pump, helmet, glasses, etc.
Bike.
Alarm to bike is 12 minutes normally. And I wonder why I’m always blowing at the top of the first hill.

Alphabet – Member
let the chickens and ducks out

If these are euphemisms, I get this one.

find/count the sheep.

I don’t get this one.

Almost invariably, fart.

^^ no euphemisms 😆

Stick on the radio catch the 5.30 bullitin and such

current routine
20 mins of snoozing alarms
5 mins of watching highlights of last nights NHL game
Brush teeth then Shower then maybe fight in contacts
Get dressed
Make toast and eat on 25 min walk to work

Once or twice a week i may grab a coffee on way through town, but usually just make first coffee at work followed by download at 9:30am (I also prefer to be paid to poo)

Wonder why this is only time I get an erection these days.

It’s a mechanism to stop you pissing yourself in your sleep.

Who’s sexy now?

I can’t open my eyes until I have my first coffee. Think newborn puppy

It’s a mechanism to stop you pissing yourself in your sleep.

Well well, I had no idea. How useful.

Make the bed.

I rise, wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
The shavin’ razor’s cold and it stings.

Wake up ,get out of bed drag a comb across my head.
Make my way downstairs and make a cup

🙂
Pull on my jeans (and I feel alright).

Lie in a semi-comatose state listening to Chris Hawkins for a bit, get up, go to the loo, brush teeth, get dressed, get work bag up together, go downstairs, boil kettle for travel flask, leave house, get into whatever car I have that particular day, set off to deliver it.

Rusty ,I’m assuming you wake up in the morning light.

Nudge, push or poke the wife to subtlety wake her up – when she gets up to make the coffee,and out of hearing range, I let it rip some … I am a gentleman after all.

wonder how and why I’m in the kid’s bed again.
stretch.
play with transformers.
defend myself from onslaught of children who seem to think my vulnerable parts are a trampoline.
go back to own bed for 10 mins.
pull on cycling clobber.
try and sneak out the door before being given a list of things to do.
fail.
say goodbye to everyone.
ride like the wind.
stop at 30 sets of traffic lights.
grumble at all the idiots. everyone is an idiot.

06.00 – turn off alarm
Make sure wife is talking and OK
Get up
Pee
Shave
Shower
Dress
Make coffee for me/tea for her
Empty dishwasher
Empty washing machine
Put on tumbledrying if necessary
Make the appropriate number of packed lunches
Drink coffee, take multi vitamin and Citalopram
Brush teeth
Head out the front door just as Jnr comes downstairs at 06.45

I popped a CD on, jumped in the shower
Sploshed and washed till I’m fresh like a flower

Before I put on my make-up,
I say a little prayer for you.

I wake up to “Daddy, Daddy, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY”
Try and get him back to sleep, fail etc

Well this is interesting so many different routines, though I have to say a lot of trumping goes on here too, though I didn’t think to write that 😉 I’m quite lucky in that MissStripes is usually out of earshot before I wake up 🙂

Scenario 1
Swear, get up to see what the young child is complaining about – usually tired, hungry, thirsty, eye is sore, needs the toilet

Scenario 2
Swear, press the snooze button, swear, press the snooze button, swear…..

Listen to whatever weird detective drama / thriller is on R4 Extra from 6.00 to 6.30.

Check phone.
See what mikewsmith has been talking to himself about all night.
Wee.

Unload as much as possible before my daily weigh.

get woken up by dog, take him out for pee (no garden). Go back to bed if there is time, get dressed and go to work for my coffee as I have access to one of these

Go see if the small person is awake, then make some tea.

see if the small person is awake

Apparently that’s to stop you pissing yourself in your sleep.

😀

Small person usually demands her tablet to watch Spongebob.

Doesn’t anyone drink tea these days?

Usual routine is, up, put kettle on, pee, make cup of aforementioned beverage, drink tea whilst getting ready to pop over to the gym or take the dogs for a trot.

Cuddle the dog, piss in the coffee pot and walk the wife.

Dress, coffee, sofa for 20 mins staring at vapid shite on my phone, roll a tab (just started again, bah!), think about turning the computer on and doing some work, nah, porridge first.

Out of bed, stumble, pee, undies, stumble, stairs, kettle on, tea bag, cup, milk, stir in a blurry fug, sofa, TV on, iPad on, drink tea, 50 sit-ups, grab shirt/suit (or if WFH, slouch joggers) toast & marmite, phone on… exit stage right.

Oh I forgot – wash my eyes.

Have a pee then wash my eyes gently with warm water.

Thus I can see enough to post here already 🙂

On second thoughts mefty, I’ll get a coffee at Starbucks…

Either turn off alarm or hit snooze, lie in bed for about 10 mins wondering where my life went wrong.
Get up, shower, breakfast, make lunch, drive to work.
Repeat…

Out of bed, pee, wake kids up, espresso, assemble all the breakfasts, wake kids up again, breakfast, shout at kids and nick their duvets, shit, shower, maybe shave, hassle kids to get ready, kids and I brush teeth, pack bags, break up fighting, get out of the door and to school.

Snooze for 10 minutes.

Shortly followed by shit, shower, shave, brush teeth, get dressed, ride to work.

I’m in the classroom less than 20 minutes after I get out of bed. I have a croissant at my desk.