I got engaged at a fairly young age (20) but it was a good way in my mind of looking to future rather rather than continuing with a pretty nasty lifestyle and it meant the world to my wife. It’s a lovely way to celebrate being together, doesn’t have to cost silly amounts and is really rather spiffing. Been with the same poor lass who’s somehow managed to put up with me for nearly 18 years

Im lucky to be getting married in less than 10 weeks time! For me the marriage is about showing our love and commitment for each other in front of our family and friends and God. Yes I know that everyone is going to comment on that but for me that is what is it about.

I know some cost £20K plus, well ours is going to be less than £4.5K including a honeymoon in two different countries (I am getting married abroad to my fiancee in her hometown). Yes lots of friends and family cant make it because of the cost (we are having a second party back at my home church in UK afterwards), and yes some could say there is a lot of costs involved however I think it will be worth it. I don’t agree with all the costs that some people decide are necessary for a wedding. My brides wedding dress is going to cost £65 (she is making it), the bridesmaids dresses are a total of £100 (again she is making it), I have bought a second hand suit for myself and my best man, we have planted the flowers (abroad in her home town) ready to be picked for the wedding, and my uncle is flying out to conduct the marriage (he is a vicar).

I would also agree though that for many marriage is not as important due to how they have built their relationships with their partners. If I wasn’t a christian, I don’t think I would see marriage the same way / would feel that it would be important in my relationship. The modern world doesn’t seem to require marriage anymore, yet I think there are benefits and downsides like in all things. Culture also seems to force people away from marriage due to the time and costs involved.

For me marriage is the sign of commitment that me and my fiancee decided would be suitable although for some it is not needed.

Increased life expectancy… Or does it only seem longer? 😉

I was nervous about getting married because my fiancee was making me do a ‘special groom speech’.

I found out later that turning to an eight year old bridesmaid and asking her to come and see the puppy I’ve got in my van wasn’t what she meant.

Been married 22 years in September. Why – because we both wanted to. It was our way of a public way of showing our commitment to each other. From a very practical point of view it benefits us financially, but even now that is not the main reason.

My dad, at my wedding (not in an official speech) which was held in the teeming metropolis of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, USA:

“People ask me if I like Wisconsin. I don’t know, I’ve never wisconsed.”

i think if the government invented a ‘life long partnership promise’ that you could make/sign that would afford a couple all the rights and legal assumptions (inheritance, rights over childs access etc etc) that a married couple get, we’d do that straight away

What, you mean like a marriage certificate? 😉

Sorry, a bit facetious I know, but surely a fair point. Take away the party and that’s what marriage is. Religion is only relevant if you want it to be.

My brother rang my folks up one day to announce he was married. He just nipped down the registry office. To be fair it didn’t go down too well with the olds because – let’s face it – friends and family love seeing 2 people make such a public commitment to each other.

You can make it as simple or as fancy as you want, but it’s one of the few – if only – times in a person’s life where they can justifiably be (joint) centre of attention. Not everyone’s cup of tea 🙂

I will never forget the magical feeling of watching my beautiful wife walk down the aisle, the stupid grins we both had on our faces and the cheers and whoops from our loved ones when the deed was done. Awesome!

My answer came in right at the start…
It meant a lot to my partner. She means a lot to me, hence I complied.

Apart from that, it means absolutely nothing to me.

And another thing 😉 Those ‘marriage makes you live longer’ reports make me laugh. They show how many pathetic, useless, clueless men there are out there who are incapable of looking after themselves. It’s not all their fault mind, I blame their mothers for a lot of it, mollycoddling them through their teens and early twenties so they get spat out either straight into a marriage where their poor wife has to do the same or they end up electrocuting themselves with the washing machine because they’ve never, ever seen one before.
They remain children all their lives and then die young because they’re still crying inside for their mummy.

As the Proclaimers said ‘It’s just a piece of paper but it says I Love You’

I think it’s useful to separate the “piece of paper” bit of a marriage from the ceremony and all that it entails (the prep, the party, the hangover, the honeymoon, the friends, the family). You can have one without the other, but I think it’s best to have both together.

I got married* to MrAdamW because of love and security. I love him and also I have met people whose partners have died and the homophobic tossers in the other family came and took half of everything.

It was a public commitment (only 13 friends invited, not family) and was a fantastic day. And everyone turned up at my house afterwards to play on the PS2.

*yes I know it is civil partnership but that’s what everyone calls it; I don’t care. And I’m 100% with Woppit on the religious thing 😀

My wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2″ diameter, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was.

She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was.

She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks and pebbles.

“Now,” said my wife, “I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your children – anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. Your X-box, football, the pub, porn. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important.”

I was dumbfounded.
Where would I get mayonnaise for my sandwich?

And I’m 100% with Woppit on the religious thing

You’re a Woppitist? This is great, people are aligning themselves behind this guy.. brilliant 🙂

Nice story Jools but if he put the sand in first he’d get WAY more sand in.. think about it 🙂

We are getting married on the 1st July, we both wanted to. Been together just under 4 years and lived together 2 1/2 years.
Future Mrs Gixer gave up her family to be with me – totally disowned by her mum, dad, brothers, extended family etc. Partially for racial reasons, partly because of me being a lot older than her.
I see getting married as a way of showing her my commitment and love for her – despite me being a grumppy bugger a lot of the time. i am now at a stage in life where i am ready to settle down and hopefully have kids after all my years of being a selfish waster of a single guy.
I know it will give Mrs G a bit of security which she deserves.

The rocks are the important things – your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your children – anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. Your X-box, football, the pub, porn. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important.”

Brilliant analogy!

You’re a Woppitist?

Oh yes. It involves daily showers in custard and self-flagellation with a stick of rhubarb. And fromage, which is like frottage but instead you roll around in camembert then snaffle I up with some biscuits and a bottle of chateauneuf du pape!