Cleaning rice out of a sieve

OR

Standing in a patch of water in the kitchen in socks?

standing in water by a mile.

How about standing up and smashing your head into an open cupboard door?

Watery socks
(dishwasher sorts the other)

Head door interface is less worrying than mystery puddle

Try standing in dog wee (accident, bless her) in the dark. 😀

(Btw, there’s a way to cook rice that doesn’t require sieving at the end.)

Dam too late

Cupboard door

Ill informed claptrap about cyclists published in newspapers

Pook – Member

Cleaning rice out of a sieve

😆

OR

Standing in a patch of water in the kitchen in socks?

This ^^^ coz I have a rice cooker.

dog (puppy) poo in dark no socks on, squishes between toes

What deadly said. No need to drain rice out if you add the right amount of water. 400ml for 200g of rice is about right, lid on pan, heat from cold on lowish heat

Catching your head on the corner of the cooker hood every time you try and peer into the pan at the back of the hob, despite being careful not to bang your head!

Socks. You can walk away from the sieve. The socks go with you.

Being so irredeeminglybaked you can’t be bothered or are incapable to take take part in muchhottness on offer at the time? That is ANNOYing, especially when you wakeup and remember. So bloody annoying.

Lego, bloody one’rs in the dark in bare feet!

Catching your head on the corner of the cooker hood every time you try and peer into the pan at the back of the hob, despite being careful not to bang your head!

I’ll never know that feeling. 🙁

standing on a big fat slug, bare footed while purring rubbish out in the dark.

slugs on the patio when you’ve got bare feet – 10x worse than puppypoo, I bet 🙁

Late for something, getting to a door, pushing it open, walking into it because it doesn’t push open it pulls, pulling it open, smacking yourself in the face with it

OR

being laughed at by the students

Standing on a plug some fecker has kindly left out for you…

Standing in dog dribble in bare feet. (There is a drool problem when food is being prepared). Cold and wet, plus a really low coefficient of friction on vinyl. Double whammy.

standing on slug in bare feet then taking vengeance on another slug with stick which pops like a balloon squirting slug juice in your face

OR

going to do a snot rocket when you’re on your bike but finding that it’s a claggy one which doesn’t break at the nose and covers your beard and jersey in green nose-glue

Reaching in the dark for your fav w***ing sock, only once too late, to find you’ve inadvertently picked up your fav beanie…

The stuff I hear at work amazes me..

standing on slug in bare feet then taking vengeance on another slug with stick which pops like a balloon squirting slug juice in your face

or

switching on the television to see another image of nigel farage (the human form of a slug) waving another pint around whilst wearing those silly collared jackets he wears.

w***ing sock?

The mind boggles.

Anyway – biting the inside of your cheek.

Anyway – biting the inside of your cheek.

or – spilling salt/sugar on a tiled floor and standing in it in your bare feet.
RM.

*Edit prima facie: ‘irredeemablybaked’.

Sitting on the loo in the middle of the night before realising the seat is up

or

Constantly, repeatedly, relentlessly having to close the doors from the heated lounge into the freezing conservatory that get left open by the rest of my family

Hora

Waiting for binners to finish his pint and get a pint in

That *PING!* noise that indicates the tiny but vital circlip you were fighting with has just rocketed across the garage and will no doubt come to rest in the darkest deepest recesses underneath something large, heavy and plumbed in.

Office people wearing jumpers opening windows because they’re too hot when it’s flipping freezing out there! TAKE YOUR JUMPER OFF 😡

Doubly stupid when it means the super-sensitive ‘smart’ heating starts belting out magma levels of heat.

Grown adults suddenly walking in front of you because they are superstitious about walking over man-hole/utilities covers on the pavement.

or

People walking ahead of you and immediately slowing down again

I see binners and hora have hit the pub early next today!

1/ Making a cup of tea, going to the fridge to get milk, only to find that it’s been all used up bar a tiny dribble left in the container. Whoever uses the last of the milk, bring a new one in from the garage fridge!!

2/ Losing the argument with the wife again, that she hasn’t used the last of the milk because there was a tiny dribble left in it, hence why should she get a new one in?

You can sense this is a circular situation. She’ll even have her tea / coffee slightly too dark for comfort (whoops, might be accused of being racist) just to avoid using up the last of the milk so she can then win point 2.

[edit] there’s currently an extra frisson of danger to this game. She’s just started HRT and finding the levels that secure marital harmony and balance have so far eluded us. Losing point 2/ is potentially a capital offence, as is any other minor misdemeanour that can be thought up at random intervals. Including breathing, last night]

Binners will still be at greggs, stood in the queue waiting for lunchtime 😀

People constantly referring to their phones in social situations.

Somebody on Radio 4 pronounced “etcetera” as “ickcetera” last week.

Mildly related, did anyone else hear Chris Evans say (IRO of Ant ‘n’ Dec) this morning that “Ant could easily slide into Wogan”

Office people not wearing jumpers closing windows because they’re too cold when it’s flipping stuffier than a tramps sock inside! PUT YOUR JUMPER ON…

The word ‘Discuss’ in the context of a lazy OP.

Why has there never been a spiderwoman?

Discuss.

A big load of snow landing on your drivers seat despite carefully clearing round the car door before you open it.

Why has there never been a spiderwoman?

Because it doesn’t fit nicely into the theme music?