I’ll kept this as short as I can in the hope some of you may have some ideas!

I drive around 25k miles a year as part of my job and until two months ago I loved driving and loved my job. Approx. 2 months ago I took a phone call (hands free Bluetooth) while I was driving and don’t really remember much of the journey, all motorway, so I was paranoid I may have been speeding etc etc. even though I can almost guarantee I knew what was going on around me at the time. Since then things have been getting worse, everytime I’m driving now I’m paranoid I’ve jumped a red light (even if it’s green when I cross the line but turned to Amber while I’m going through the junction) or I’m going to end up speeding even though I’m really careful not to. When I get home it’s gets to the point where I feel sick and my insides are in knots unless I can remember EVERY part of the journey and what speed I was doing which is quite difficult given that I’m doing 100 miles+ a day. It seems the more of a journey I try to remember the more I forget once the journey is over. I know a lot of this May make me sound like a dangerous driver but I do know I concentrate and know what’s going on around me at the time it’s just after that I start to worry.

I’ve been to the doctors who sent me for blood tests and have come back all clear, I’ve got an appointment on Monday to ”chat’ about things as it’s obviously psychological rather than physiological. Has anyone else suffered from something similar, how did you get over it? I’m not sure whether to take driving lessons again or whether that would make things worse as I’d be on the roads even more. I’ve tried to tell myself to ‘man up’ and get over it as it’s just mind over matter but so far it’s not working!

Any help/suggestions would be hugely appreciated as I’d love to get back to the point where I love my job again!

Working too hard ? Have you had a good long break (holiday) recently ?

How old are you?

If you’re 45 like me you may be having a midlife crisis.

Like me..

The symptoms appear to be far reaching.

Certainly an unusual first post on a bike forum, maybe give up the car and get a road bike.

Sounds like anxiety to me.

Not my first post, would just rather keep it under wraps hence the new username. Just had a two week holiday that seemed to help as I wasn’t driving for that time. I don’t think my job is stressful or I’m working too hard, average around 40 hours a week, quite happy at work if I exclude the driving part! I’d love to get a road bike but unfortunately I have an estate car full of stuff that I need for work on a daily basis 😀

Oh and I’m early 30’s so I bloody hope it’s not a mid-life crisis

Stress induced anxiety. I wouldn’t attribute it just to the long hours on the road, which is obviously a factor – but background stresses might have ‘latched on’ to the traveling aspect when the problem runs deeper.

Sounds like you need a break to chill out. Examine your workload, home/family life, diet & sleep to see if any moderation’s or adjustments need to be made.

Ensure you make time for activities that float your boat away from all the above – like the restorative powers of MTB’ing.

I get this sometimes. I can sometimes not remember a journey or today on the way home I was struck with panic wondering if I had just gone through a red light in a traffic jam but there was no one to have pressed a button anywhere near the crossing when I checked back and around and it took me a good few seconds of sitting there stationary to remember glancing up at the green light.

It is your brain being occupied on stuff and you not being able to switch off from things so combined with the concentration of driving your brain is kind of maxed out and you don’t remember the journey. Of course it is good you are recognising there could be a problem though unlike people who just don’t have a bloody clue and cause chaos.

I don’t have a handsfree in my car and will not answer or touch the phone. We do have a handsfree in the land rover but I tend not to use it. This might be difficult with your job but maybe try setting the phone to divert all calls when driving. Also I have noticed I have problems more when I have not eaten or drunk properly that day (ie missed lunch or eaten crap) so make sure you are well hydrated and eat sensible snacks.

Lack of memory is not necessarily an indication of lack of ability to perform a task. To take an extreme example I had a fall whilst skiing back in January and hit a tree with my (helmeted) head. I remember falling and then I remember being half way through a conversation with ski patrol. At no time was I unconscious and at some point I got up, got my skis on an skied to the nearest lift but I have no recollection of doing so. A friend (clinical psychologist) diagnosed post traumatic aminesia in my case so although I didn’t form memories, the rest of my brain was working fine.

As you are driving 25k per year quite frankly I’m not surprised you can remember parts if it that doesn’t necessarily mean there is anything wrong. In my totally unqualified opinion it doesn’t sound like there is an issue with your driving but there may be an issue with stress and your obsession about your driving ability.

I think you have given yourself a bit of a scare and are now in a negative feedback loop.

You will not have remembered the whole of any journey before, it’s only now that you have put yourself under the microscope that this seems unusual.

Best to avoid calls when driving, but I’m sure you know that. Change your phone settings, as above, take more breaks and return calls then.

Maybe think about a change of jobs with less mileage? A change is as good as something or other…………

Sounds like Lupus to me, either that or cancer.

Being as no one else has suggested it yet, MTFU 😆
Now then as someone that used to do many many miles a year a lot of it during silly amounts of hours at work ie regular 16hr shifts or sometimes 12hr shifts for two or three weeks with next to no days off, I would say you are plain and simply tired and not fully in the 100% concentration zone. Try varying your route to and from work, windows down and music off, just you your car and peace and quiet.
My theory anyway 🙂

Anxiety can manifest in strange ways.
I had a friend (very outgoing and leary) who worked in the city and one day had a panic attack on the train in.
This happened more and more. Then on the way to the station , eventually every morning when he work up he was sick at the thought of going to work.

He stayed home sick spending his days on the sofa in his pants.
His dad went around and gave him a pull yourself togeather it’s a **** train speech , which did not really work.
He saw a psychologist and got himself straight pretty quickly.

I had a similar thing with not being able to eat in public which started the same way, but I was smoking a lot of weed at the time.

Speak to the doctors they will get you straight nay bother.
Hope you get back to using your original username soon .

Sounds like a classic case of cat aids.

I assume you’ve stopped using the handsfree phone ?

I agree this concern about your driving is proably an effect rather than a cause but I suppose I’d try to address it if it was me.

How about doing the “running commentary” thing that advanced courses often get you to do – so that you know you’re actively concentrating on stuff.

(and, yeah, caids or febola is always a possibility)

Apparently that thing where you miss chunks of your journey is the safest way to drive (probably not if you’re on the phone at the same time). Because you’re just on autopilot you’re very relaxed, so unlikely to be doing anything untowards, and you’re not actually inattentive.

Apparently.

The driving thing – I’ve had this on the bike, always have. When I was a kid I’d cycle the 11 or so miles to my mate’s on country roads, the same ones I did twice a day in the car to school. I remember being in so much of a trance that I suddenly snapped out of it and had to look around to see where I was. I had no recollection at all of cycling to that point. I was at first worried that I’d not been paying attention but I’d negotiated two T junctions, so I must’ve been aware of what was going on otherwise I’d have woken up in a hedge. It happens to me less now because I don’t ride the same route all the time 🙂

Your brain won’t remember things that are exactly the same as what’s gone before, because there’s nothing new to latch on to. For a summer, I did a job in a hop processing shed where my job was to stand and watch the vines pass under me on rollers, and when a vine looked like it might get caught I had to poke it with a stick with a hook on the end. First night I hated it so much I almost walked, then I thought I’d stay til the weekend. Then I thought I’d stay til the middle of next week to get the bonus. It was amazingly boring, but it was so utterly samey I coudn’t actually remember anything at all, and six weeks had gone by before I knew it – I felt no different to the end of that first day.

To bring it back to the topic at hand then – I now drive the M4 so often that it seems to go quicker than it ever did – because I am so used to it my brain’s not really latching onto anything. But I know full well that I am still concentrating on the traffic, I’m just doing it automatically. So it sounds like you’re in that situation.

However – you’re suffering from anxiety about it, this is a different issue and not at all uncommon, at least for various reasons. I’ve had that too from time to time. See someone, or just learn about neurology – this helped me. Feelings of fear, anxiety or whatever are just chemicals in your brain, and often fairly meaningless!

I go into auto pilot when I’m driving and on the phone and often have no recollection of a 100+ mile journeys. That’s why I try and call people in the car as it’s almost like having a chauffeur!

I don’t worry however about traffic offences etc. which I think is your main concern. Sounds like anxiety to me. Boosting your serotonin levels will help, would recommend exercise and if that fails anti depressants.

If I understand your post correctly it sounds pretty normal to me.

For the last 6 years I have been doing the same round trip either by bike or motorbike and most days I can’t remember much about that specific journey. As I ride every manhole cover and piece of paint on the road is familiar but unless something memorable has happened then chunks of the journey are blank.

The paranoia about it is the issue I would say. Good luck getting some help

Running commentary to yourself while driving might help.

The exercise of verbalising each aspect of every manoeuvre, obstacle and hazard and your speed while driving may help you realise you are doing things right. Then all you have to remember is you did the commentary.

The other thing to remember is there are some seriously shit drivers out there doing more miles than you who are managing to not get banned. If your anxiety stems from far off losing your licence and job then this may be some comfort. While that is no excuse for crap driving it should provide some reassurance that honest mistakes are unlikely to result in prosecution unless you are pretty unlucky, although a brutal virtual linching on here could still occur if you fees up.

Oh and best of luck with finding a solution.

Stress Anxiety… Get yourself to a hypnotherapist / NLP ……. They will give you all the tools to help you change the way you think ….. Well worth it .

Sorry, no solution here, but does sound like some kind of stress.
Seems like a very odd thing to take the piss out of, as some have done. Time and place for “humour” guys.

Zoneing in and out when driving is not a problem, I do it and normally followed by looking around to see if I had missed my junction or not.

Driving around town you are constantly looking for visual landmarks to navigate by, looking out for pedestrians, cyclists, traffic lights, and is generally more engaging than motorway driving.
Only a complete simpletons brain would be taxed to its capacity by driving on the motorway.

The problem is the obsessing about it later, which is a complete waste of time and energy because it would be to late to do anything about anything that may have happened. So you need to let it go and go and do something far more interesting instead.

As said before this is bread and butter stuff to people who help with this sort of thing.

Thanks for all the advice guys, believe it or not it’s really helping…..especially those who say they forget chunks of journeys too!

I’ve stopped using the hands free, have turned the radio down a bit and am trying to do the running commentary although I do forget sometimes and just drive. I think at the root of the issue is the realisation that no licence means no job, and everything that goes with it!

Don’t mind the oiss taking, makes me smile if nothing else! Will see what doc says on Monday, I’d rather not have to take pills if I can avoid it so will look into other ways, and there’s no way I’m sitting at home in my pants and let this get the better of me…

Sounds like road offence OCD, mixed with anxiety.

How much sleep are you getting each night? How many cups of coffee each day?

Your brain won’t remember things that are exactly the same as what’s gone before, because there’s nothing new to latch on to

This seems to me to be the best explanation. Much in the same way an ageing person isn’t learning anything new, days, weeks, months, years pass by more quickly because we know it all from previous years.

Don’t mind the oiss taking, makes me smile if nothing else! Will see what doc says on Monday, I’d rather not have to take pills if I can avoid it so will look into other ways, and there’s no way I’m sitting at home in my pants and let this get the better of me..

Good lad. Glad you didn’t mind the piss taking (as some sensitive souls have suggested).
I drive around 20k miles each year, and often can’t remember certain stretches of my journey.
You go into auto pilot as it becomes second nature on long journeys- nothing to worry about.

Can you Strava your route and see what you really did during the day? speed wise etc?

Driving is one of the easiest methods of self hypnotising. After many years of driving it becomes more of a habit than a taxing challenge . Subsequently your brain switches into the sub conscience (or something along these lines ????) and you can therefore not remember much of the journey despite being in full control.
You have probably worried like hell about this and have now created an anxiety problem ?. I doubt for a minute there is anything sinister in it. Don’t stop driving, write down why you should not fear the problem and read it out to yourself a few times every few hours…..and then expose yourself to the fear, avoiding driving or simile lines will not help.

Either way excessive aggressively to reduce stress, chill out with more tea stops, stop giving so much of a fuk about work and keep head string about the problem

Best of luck

I think you have given yourself a bit of a scare and are now in a negative feedback loop.

This.

Maybe what you need is a new car?
Something so the adrenaline will excite you and keep you ALERT?
How about a Nissan Skyline GTR as your new rep mobile?

How are you sleeping ?? Sleep deprivation?? Anxiety / panic attack before?
Give up drinking alcohol and cut down on caffeine will help.
Visit GP.
Not sure if theres a treatment for feline ebola though.

Some sort of anxiety or stress related association with driving.

I’d doubt anyone can remember every single moment of their driving journey – that’s not how the brain works, or we’d be too worn out and unable to multitask*.

My FIL has got himself in a similar state about driving, but it’s had a negative effect on him – he’s concentrating on all the wrong stuff. He’s obsessed with red lights and speeding, and is a more dangerous and erratic driver for it.

I know someone whose OCD manifested itself in convictions that they’d run someone over on the way home. This person has worked hard to get in top of it.

Seek professional – psychological – help. The first you try may not be the right answer, but you will find the right technique to get you back in the zone.

On a technical note, does tour car have speed limit warnings? And does it have cruise control. Those tools may help move you away from focussing on things like speed, and get you back into the right frame of mind to feel confident about your driving.

Hope you get through it.

*I know multitasking more than one cognitive exercise is not possible, but you can multitask things you don’t need to think about. And, given that driving requires us to be able to separate things with each limb, it’s clear one is able to “switch off” from key bits of driving (like remembering every detail) and still drive safely and legally.

I was a class one HGV driver for twenty years, when you’re doing a lot of miles you remember when something’s happened like getting cut up or running a red by mistake, or chopping the front end off a Peugeot 205 by running three axles of a fridge unit over it.. 😳
you don’t remember anything when nothing untoward has happened to remember..
Which I’m really happy about cos twenty years worth of boring motorway floating round my head would be really shit.. 😐

I’ve no idea if you’ve got ‘issues’ but from what you’ve said the issue appears to be that you’re concerned about lack of concentration during driving. Have you ever been taught to/heard of commentary driving?

Google it and read what there is online about it and apply it when you drive, this helps me when I have to do a long drive and I worry that my concentration has drifted…

I once drove from Leicester to Kendal ,couldn’t remember any of it.
It really freaked me out. There had been a family bereavement and I was really tired .
Stress related .
It sometimes happens on the bike& I don’t know where I am momentarily.
Stupidity related.
Have a rest.
🙂

Used to happen to me, driving back from seeing my G/F in Basingstoke, early hours of the morning along the A4 from Hungerford towards Marlborough, I’d have absolutely no recollection at all of large chunks of the journey, only bits where there’s something of a distraction, like certain junctions, or traffic lights. Even now, if I do a long drive, say on a motorway, where it’s fairly monotonous, I go into autopilot and barely register anything much. It’s just a state of relaxation because what you’re doing is pretty much hard-wired in, you’re not having to concentrate on things.
Nothing to worry about. 😀

I had quite a long ratly morning paper route as a kid, after a while I’d get yo the end and have no recollection of any of it, I’d be worried that I’d not delivered the papers to the right house and the shop would be getting angry OAPs ringing up. They never did

I think k your brain just filters out the tedious stuff for a reason, your function fine at the time its just not worth storing the memories.

Dunno if it would help bit could you try cycling once a week? Maybe even get a Bob trailer if that ll take enough work equipment for you

Good luck, the minds a complicated thing and its proper scary when it has a wobble