Do what makes you and your family happy – Employers can and will, replace you, your family can't.

I had a high pressured, managerial job in the City, I earned £65k a year. I was forever working, never saw my children, stressed & it didn't make me happy.

4 Years ago I decided to make a change for the better (BTW There's never a good time – It's good just to make a date and stick to it).

I now earn £12k a year – downsized and live in a small village in a cottage the Scottish Highlands. See the children at morning lunchtime and evening, always happy & I've never regretted it – Plus the local trails are sweet 😀

Together you've got to make the change – Prioritise your relationship / family & your happinness. Good Luck !

mate have a chat with her, get away somewhere and clear her head.

trust me the final straw came for me/us when i heard my wife crying one morning while getting ready for work, sorting her hair out and a huge clump came out in her hand.

that was the last straw i told her she wasn't going in and that was that, they didn't even give her the decency of a leaving interview because they knew what they would face.

her immediate manager even came round whent he doc had signed her off, he thought i was going to batter him as he didnt know i was going to be there. (naturally i didnt) but it was good getting over our point. not that it mattered as he didnt do **** all about the situation.

it still boils my blood thinking about it, but i dont let on to her.

life has changed, you just have to make the jump, things will work out, family will help when needed,

best of luck

The most important thing is that you're there for her, and with all the stress that she is having at work she probably really appreciates that she is not alone and has someone who really cares about her.

I'd suggest starting off by asking her what support you can give her, rather than trying to decide yourself what she needs to do. I'm going through a similar situation at the moment (not just work but also pressure from house renovation as well) and my partner is great, but does get cross as he sees me very upset and stressed and doesn't understand 'why I don't sort it out'. Unfortunately, that adds to the pressure and stress and becomes another thing that I need to be responsible for. Although many guys are very 'action-focused' and think that sympathy doens't help, for many women, and hug and an opportunity to talk without being judged is really importnat, and yes, sympathetic words can and do help by making you feel that you're not alone!

Then it gives you both a chance to talk though what might be done, breaking it down into managable 'chunks' for what to do in the short, medium and long term.

Now … I just need to pay attention to my own words as I'm currently working away on an FOI request, missing my work xmas lunch, worrying about the car that needs fixing, and the stress of having to drive in snow and ice to see family at the weekend …

+1, dont send the mail.

she'll tear your head off apart from anything else, and rightly so

in these situations, stuck between a rock and a hard place, the best thing to do i find is, pass the buck to the person controlling the problem.

she should explain the situation to her boss, the consequenses of each route, and ask him to choose one, and on his head be it when people dont get paid.

people leaving before her indicates hes a crap boss who cant delegate properly

after that, she should stop worrying, whatever happens, its not the end of the world.

she needs to mtfu and do her workload only and start sticking to lunchours,leaving times etc etc.

Get on monster.if shes as good and commited as you say she could prob earn more elsewhere and not under the service of this tosspot.

her boss is unhelpful, rude and only driven by performance goals…and he's a roadie…interesting 😉

Sue_W – Member

…..but does get cross as he sees me very upset and stressed and doesn't understand 'why I don't sort it out'. Unfortunately, that adds to the pressure and stress and becomes another thing that I need to be responsible for. Although many guys are very 'action-focused' and think that sympathy doens't help, for many women, and hug and an opportunity to talk without being judged is really importnat, and yes, sympathetic words can and do help by making you feel that you're not alone!

I think you've got it spot on there Sue…. thanks. I just want to help…. but end up getting angry when she doesn't want to do what I suggest (although my way may not work for her…)

Feel for you both. Send her our love and enjoy your time together over Christmas

Andy