Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 45 total)
  • What will annoy the wife the most….
  • MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    ….when she returns from her weekend away?

    The fact that I unthinkingly threw her waterproof trousers in with the rest of the washing, and all the taped seems came loose?

    Or the fact that we need a new hedge trimmer as I sliced cleanly through the cable of the old one today?

    😳

    njee20
    Free Member

    Trousers FTW.

    aP
    Free Member

    So was it unseemly?

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    dannyh
    Free Member

    At least you have combined your ear-bashings into one convenient payment!

    Better to get a big bollocking out the way in one go IME.

    singlespeedstu
    Full Member

    Or the fact that we need a new hedge trimmer as I sliced cleanly through the cable of the old one today?

    You work in IT or something don’t you. 😆

    prettygreenparrot
    Full Member

    you can easily fix that hedge trimmer by replacing the cable. Or, if there’s bit dangling you can just get one of these

    the waterproof trousers? Make it up by buying her flowers. and a pair of these?

    and, given you did the washing surely you must be in the good books?

    jodafett
    Full Member

    “What will annoy the wife the most’

    The fact she married a man who can’t stick 2 wires together 😉

    jools182
    Free Member

    Trousers

    You’re ****ed

    I’d get looking for some new ones 🙂

    bearnecessities
    Full Member

    I don’t think I know your wife, but I’d guess she wouldn’t give two shits about the hedge trimmer.

    Mess with an item of her clothing on the other hand…. Can I have your bike?

    piedidiformaggio
    Free Member

    stick the tapes back on with pritstick or something. Just needs to hold the seems long enough for her not to notice. Then when she puts them in the wash, they’ll all fall apart, so her fault and you are blameless 8)

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    the hedge trimmer is both easily repairable and unlikely to be noticed I assume [ forgive the sexism]

    I vote for the trousers

    righog
    Free Member

    I might be able to help with the hedgetrimmer, your on your own with the pants.

    dont ask me how I know

    Oops…fixer

    TiRed
    Full Member

    Swap the cable and blag the need for new trousers anyway as they are soooo last year’s colour. I’ve refitted an entire cable to our Karcher twice due to cable-door interfaces. You’ll probably need a Torx driver to open the trimmer. Buy a cheap – but correct power rating – extension cable and use that as the donor cable.

    totalshell
    Full Member

    you ve clearly not been married long.. tell her a homeless poor blind kid with only one leg and a scruffy puppy came round begging for money for his sick grandmother and you felt so guilty of all the riches you both have together that it prayed on your mind all day and you absent mindedly …

    id also take yourself away for a moment and ask why the mrs has been away with her mates for the weekend when her place is at home cooking the roast and washing.. and trimming the hedge

    pictonroad
    Full Member

    New hedge trimmer because you cut the cable?

    Someone revoke his man badge, I have a feeling your “wife” will be just fine…

    cloudnine
    Free Member

    Secretly buy some new trousers and fix the cable

    CountZero
    Full Member

    Or the fact that we need a new hedge trimmer as I sliced cleanly through the cable of the old one today?

    Deary, deary me. 🙄
    A length of three-core mains cable and a screwdriver, both of which ought to be handy, and job done.
    You can wire a plug, can’t you?

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Ok, over reaction on the cable, easily fixed I know.

    Not helped by the fact that I had to borrow a mates hedge trimmer to finish the job. I had to explain why I needed his trimmer. He is a Health & Safety consultant. I may get more grief from him than the wife.

    bluearsedfly
    Free Member

    Sorry, but cutting through the cable is a perfect excuse for a new petrol strimmer.

    Mmmmm, 2 stroke.

    singlespeedstu
    Full Member

    A length of three-core mains cable and a screwdriver

    Three core?

    I’ve yet to see a hedge trimmer that’s not double insulated.
    What you going to do with the earth wire? 😛

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    MCTD, your wife just called me, said you’re a buffoon.

    HTH 😆

    chakaping
    Free Member

    she returns from her weekend away?

    She’s had a weekend away. She can shut up.

    passtherizla
    Free Member

    Haha chakaping love it…

    I’d just tell my other half, and have probably already fixed the hedge trimmer and been to Go outdoors for somewhere for some more trousers. I’m nice like that. She still hates me.

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    Have you got kids, a dog or cats you can blame? Failing that just flat out deny any wrong doing or run away! 😀

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Apparently the trousers were 15 years old so I’m reprieved.

    Possibly because she had a great weekend and I caught her in a good mood.

    dudeofdoom
    Full Member

    Just never ever whatever you do wash the bedclothes when your missus is away !!!!!!!!!!

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    My hedge trimmer cable has three of those nylon cable connectors wrapped in Duck tape at various points along its length. Works just fine.

    chip
    Free Member

    When she walks through the front door greet her with a glass of wine, fully made up and wearing her best underwear and nothing else.

    It could be the start of something beautiful, either way she won’t be bothered by the trousers.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    *ponders life in the chip household*

    😯

    *feels a bit queasy*

    johndoh
    Free Member

    A length of three-core mains cable and a screwdriver, both of which ought to be handy, and job done.

    Twin and Earth then?

    BTW – it won’t be earthed – twin core is all that’s needed.

    Daffy
    Full Member

    .

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    When she walks through the front door greet her with a glass of wine, fully made up and wearing her best underwear and nothing else ask her if she’s put on weight.
    Nothing else will matter

    chip
    Free Member

    *ponders life in the chip household*

    *feels a bit queasy*

    I am just trying to help you out here.
    Would you rather find yourself bent over the arm of the settee saying you have been a very bad girl,
    Or on the receiving end of the silent treatment with a short suspension of your conjugal rights.

    A friends wife came in from a night out with the girls and called him a count then went to bed.
    They had obviously had a husband comparing competition and he did not fair well. 😀

    Tom_W1987
    Free Member

    JohnJohn
    Free Member

    …that you don’t know, and had to ask on a public forum!

    andyfla
    Free Member

    Cash, you are bloody useless

    That is all

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    fla – when have I claimed to be otherwise?

    andyfla
    Free Member

    That is true

    thestabiliser
    Free Member

    Like the politician bloke said – never waste a good crisis.

    You may as well break all the stuff of hers you don’t like.

    wanmankylung
    Free Member

    Possibly because she had a great weekend and I caught her in a good mood.

    Comes back from a weekend away in such a good mood that she forgives you for all you’ve done. I’d be asking questions of what she’s been upto…

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 45 total)

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