We are on holiday. We have two smallish boys and a teenage girl. Several of her friends are also here and she is busy making plans without consulting the long haired general. Her boyfriend is coming tomorrow. My mother is here. My in-laws are here. My sister-in-law and her two feral pre-school children are here.

I’m in the shit for answering the question ‘What do you want to do tomorrow/this week?’ with ‘I’m happy to go along with everyone else, it’s easier that way. As long as I get out on my bike one afternoon that’ll do me.’ Apparently this is being grumpy 🙄 You couldn’t make this shit up.

Is the putting things on the stairs for someone else to move a women only thing and if so where does it come from? Never met a man who does it (yet)

In fairness, I do, but it’s only so that it’s there for me to take up next time I go up the stairs.

T’wife will walk past it over and over, and if challenged ‘I’m only going upstairs for a wee / to get a jumper / simiilar’ – as if carrying the stuff up has to be a designated trip.

See also: tea bags – have to be put on a staging post instead of straight in the food bin which is 3.2m away. I know, I measured it one day to make the point. Rationale – I might need an old tea bag (for staining old treasure maps / letters for kids homework, which we’ve needed to do about half a dozen times in a combined 20 kid years)

Me having a lie-in…. Being Lazy
Her…. Acceptable (despite the sun shining, kids need walking and it being 11am)

I assumed the teabag thing was some sort of kitchen based game of jenga.

Food debris from the kitchen sink plug filter thing is to be left until I put it in the food bin.

Any cup that has been used for tea or coffee has to be left with the dregs in the bottom. This remaining liquid cannot be tipped out no matter how close to the sink the cup is. I don’t drink tea or coffee.

All of the calendar and ‘I’m fine’ stuff ^^^ (surely universal?)

So many of these are very familiar!

If I bring dirt dishes through to the kitchen, any waste gets put into the bin that is passed on way to kitchen worktop where dirty dishes are placed. If she takes dishes through, all the carp is left inside dishes for the magic fairy to deal with.

If I do the vacuuming, I attempt to cover all rooms. If she does vacuuming, it is perfectly acceptable to not touch the back room man cave every single time.

Just as I’m about to finish washing the dishes, she comes through with what seems like 3 days worth of dishes she had left scattered around the lounge, that I refuse to take through for her.

Can someone remind me why it is better living with a partner? 😆

No idea. I’ve not been informed of which ones I’ve broken today.

i get hassle for the tea bag thing.

i dont drink tea.

I have dared to question the use of a tea bag holding area.

With a scowl I was told that you cant put a hot/warm tea bag in the food recycling bin. No explanation was offered as to why you can’t but you just can’t.

you cant put a hot/warm tea bag in the food recycling bin

fire hazard, innit

Aye never away from wet/warm tea bag fires

thegreatape – Member

We are on holiday. We have two smallish boys and a teenage girl. Several of her friends are also here and she is busy making plans without consulting the long haired general. Her boyfriend is coming tomorrow. My mother is here. My in-laws are here. My sister-in-law and her two feral pre-school children are here.

I’m in the shit for answering the question ‘What do you want to do tomorrow/this week?’ with ‘I’m happy to go along with everyone else, it’s easier that way. As long as I get out on my bike one afternoon that’ll do me.’ Apparently this is being grumpy You couldn’t make this shit up.

Yeah this one,

I’m fairly sure that family Holidays are lovely for Mums and Kids, but for Dad’s it’s just graft, certainly is in my house – I do the driving, most of the paying, all off the fetching and carrying, all of the organising, taking the blame when things go wrong, give the praise when things go right, the liaising with the holiday co when my wife wants to tell them something but relies on ‘her people’ to do it.

I don’t mind really, I’ve never learned to ‘relax’ I’m happier pottering, but THOSE are the reasons why I go on my own holiday without them ha ha

The music is always too loud.

Tidy means the cupboards are an Indiana Jones style trap.

The diary (theotherjonv – that struck far too many chords)

Unless it involves bikes or vehicles, Im not in charge.

you cant put a hot/warm tea bag in the food recycling bin

fire hazard, innit [/quote]

Had no idea we’d been so lucky all these years!

Talk about living on the edge without realising it….

[quoteDo men who frequent mountain bike forums attract a certain type of wife?[/quote]

I’m single, all the rules are unwritten as mostly I make this shit up as I’m going along . I suspect I may be too far gone for a proper relationship these days though

Spending more than two evenings/days a week doing stuff other than mundane house improvements is classed as “never being here”.

Assistance with hanging the washing out is not required from me as I’m apparently incapable.

I musn’t protest when she moans about the amount of chores she’s done, despite most of them actually being done by various appliances, and me doing all the little, crappy jobs that nobody notices, but would be more noticeable if left.

She never cleans the sink or draining board, or empties the strainer.

I musn’t protest when she moans about the amount of chores she’s done, despite most of them actually being done by various appliances,

Aha, the ‘I’ve spent all morning doing the washing’ complaint.

You mean you spent 3 minutes splitting it into two piles (colours, lights) loaded one set in, pressed a button and then watched telly for an hour.

Then spent another ten minutes emptying and reloading, putting some stuff out to dry, and then watched more TV.

And then an hour later emptied the second load, folded the stuff out of the tumbler (while watching TV) and then sat back expecting me to do the other jobs.

Seems fair?

Yes, this ^

you cant put a hot/warm tea bag in the food recycling

This is good practice actually, reduces condensation build up which suppresses smells and makes it easier to compost. It also makes it less likely the bag falls apart.

It is acceptable to buy fruit and vegetables in order to get healthy.

It is *NOT* acceptable for me to point out that it is the eating of said foodstuffs that makes you healthy and putting it in the bin because it is past its sell-by date will not have a positive effect on your health.

And if I see the tumble drier on today (of all days) I think I may just have to break another of our unwritten rules…

Don’t play pitch and putt together.
No map reading.

Empty bog roll centres will magically find their way from the floor by the loo to the recycling bin.

The replacement bog roll will magically find it’s way from being balanced on top of the bog roll holder to actually being on the bog roll holder.

Spare bog rolls have the ability to walk themselves from the airing cupboard on the landing to whichever loo at which they are needed.

Selecting a film to watch must have approval from both parties

i.e. I get bored of waiting so go along with whatever.

Every night is musical night.

core – Member

Spending more than two evenings/days a week doing stuff other than mundane house improvements is classed as “never being here”.

HA HA!! Same here.

Yes, my love. I really do enjoy spending all of my time trying to keep on top of the constantly growing list of jobs that need doing & only do those jobs to avoid having to spend time with you…. 😆

I’m not allowed to see the unwritten rules but I do have to follow them! 😉

I’ve asked for all the unwritten rules in writing as they seem to be fairly elastic as to who they apply to and when they’re enforced.

Unwritten rule is that no rules apply.
Both of us had controlling partners in the past and our relationship was built on the opposite to that. We’ve never had a row in 10 years.
Offering is better than asking. I never feel the need to ‘escape’, she’s my best mate as well as everything else.

All cars in the household have a magic fuel tank.

She actually filled one up yesterday (her car, been less than 1/4 full for 3 days or so) and made extra specially sure I knew she’d done it.

Oh, and her car (the one she uses all of the time, but which happened to have been bought by me due to cashflow at the time) needs service/timing belt/major work/getting rid. It’s taken her 4 months so far to do… nothing. After 3 months she decided she’d like a Qashqai. And did nothing. So we’re driving on borrowed time. Yesterday she said “Oh, just get whatever you want”. Guess whose fault it will be 😆

Spending the odd 10 minutes here and there on an iThing constitutes “always looking at your iThing”.

Multiple long Candy Crush sessions per day on her part is not the same thing apparently.

If I’m hungover then that day is a good day to do “stuff”, often involving vacuum cleaning or shopping.
If she’s hungover then quiet is to be maintained at all times and all plans are cancelled.

This! And so many other things listed.

Spending the odd 10 minutes here and there on an iThing constitutes “always looking at your iThing”.

Multiple long Candy Crush sessions per day on her part is not the same thing apparently.

Same here, spending half an hour on a laptop instead of suffering Eastenders is ‘all night’, whilst actually watching Eastenders is acceptable. :/

If you cook, the other washes up.

Occasionally she’ll get a pass & I’ll do the wash up. I pretty much do all the cooking.

It’s OK to do knitting or play on 3ds while watching something on Amazon video, but God help you if I spend more than a few minutes using my Nexus 7 tablet!

She should be happy, it is the most used present she has given me since we got together! 😆

Not lying in bed of an evening, watching the latest box set on the laptop, because your other half streaked 3 episodes ahead while you were out grocery shopping = “You don’t spend any time with me.”.

The “stink-eye” rule corollary:

Rule #1: it is OK for mrs busydog to constantly leave every light on in the house as she goes from room to room.

Rule #2: If I bring the subject up and make mention that our electric bill sure has been high, I am to immediately receive the dreaded “stink-eye” look in response.

No matter how manky the sink and bottom of the washing up bowl are from whatever has been washed, I clean both the next morning.

Washing up from food preparation will be left on the side for ‘a bit’, even if raw chicken on a chopping board, apparently.

Reading STW on my phone or general online browsing (not social media whoring or chatting to people) is classed as ‘being on your phone’ all the time, even when she’s watching Eastenders Hollyoaks ffs

Helping a friend (who works bloody hard, on a farm, full time, plus running over 200 ewes of his own on rented ground) to stack and get in his small square bales on the hottest day of the year, when there was the threat of rain in the next day or two = “you always find a reason not to spend time with me”.

No flushing Number Ones at night.

running over 200 ewes

There must be a more humane way of killing them! 😯