Me, I’d like to be immune to the effects of caffeine. Then I could drink as much delicious coffee as I wanted, all day long.

Smell-free farts

(For the sake of my family, not me, I quite like the smell myself).

non-drip penis.

resistance to pork pies

Getting the kids into bed without a saga ensuing.

The ability to not enter debate with anyone that’s clearly an idiot.

The ability to see which avocado on the shelf is ripe without having to squeeze them all.

The ability to not sleep. It is such a waste of time.

Less injury prone or faster and better healing

The ability to generate sufficient money without having to work.

Auto house cleaning, at hyperspeed, and without being asked.

The ability to cast my farts up to 100m. I would really enjoy that.

To make any cigarette thrown on the floor reappear in the mouth of the thrower.

Google are working on it.

GoogleGuff (beta).

Organisation and punctuality. The most mediocre superpowers available.

The ability to convince Project Managers that actually, no you don’t know what you’re talking about and you’d be far better off actually listening to the people doing the work.

Sorry, does that sound a little bitter?

Sorry, does that sound a little bitter?

Yes, and as punishment your power is the ability to forget where all the good bacon butty shops are.

EDIT: No, that’s too nasty, I take it back.

To make any cigarette thrown on the floor reappear in the mouth of the thrower.

And to make any phlegm, general gobbing, and chewing gum do exactly the same. Preferably by making them bend over and lick it back up.

To be able to get a good nights sleep every night and therefore wake up refreshed every day.

Also, be unable to procrastinate.

I wonder if the second one would backfire in someway.

And to make any phlegm, general gobbing, and chewing gum do exactly the same. Preferably by making them bend over and lick it back up.

This would work wonders for the person who spits his chewing gum into the urinals at work.

Visibility.

Me, I’d like to be immune to the effects of caffeine. Then I could drink as much delicious coffee as I wanted, all day long.

Decaf.

HTH

Theobromine too, then.

The ability to fly. Not in the cape and underpants sense, but an unlimited supply of air miles, my local airport to have flights at convenient times to places I actually want to go to and me getting it together to take a holiday once in a while.

Failing that the ability to take a fortnights holiday more than once a decade.

Seen the Movie Limitless? That.

But I would settle for the ability not to think about food 24/7

Theobromine too, then.

Mellow Birds, then. As it’s clearly made of powdered floor sweepings you’ll just need to be immune to rat poison and few thousand other things.

As always, HTH.

Photosynthesis.

I’d like to be able to grow heinous pimples at will like what you can see being squeezed on that there YouTube so I could have a cheap, fun & gross hobby.

And, of course, become world famous on that there YouTube.

The ability to make other people poop themselves, unpleasant I know but used sparingly on the tools of this world oh so bloody useful

The ability to make mopeds and other small crappy motorbikes with hairdryer engines immediately explode before they ever reach my earshot

the ability to see hidden animals, a bit like an x-ray vision. Would be ace for fishing. But also cool to know just how close you are to a mouse in the grass.