I’m 100% sure she wont agree to go, she just says that I can leave but that would be my choice to make but if I stay then…………well..it will be much of the same in that I am treated by her as an intrusion that just pays the bills and gets in the way…………..sorry about this guys, I just had a really bad weekend with her, this thing has been going on so long I had sort of got used to it.

Terrydactyl – although they are very reluctant to do so (for obvious reasons) Relate should be prepared to see one half of a couple on their own. Your best bet imo would be to simply give them a call and have a chat about your situation and listen to what they advise. As stated already, your situation is exactly the sort of situation which a trained counsellor can help with – I would go for it.

I have a mate doing this at the moment, he is a natural cynic but thought it would be worth a shot. He says its very good. The councillor has been very supportive of them both.

From what I hear it is infinately better than what could happen if you dont go.

Best of luck

Thank everyone, something has to change, i have burying this issue for far too long, I will give relate a call see what they say……………

Sorry if anybody got all upset at my cynical comments, but I do have a rather negative opinion of the idea of “impartiality” in this instance.

I’m not upset by you comments Soda, just wonder why you have such a negative opinion on the impartiality – is it based on any experience or just too much dail mail?

Neither seven, just observations of human nature, a bad mood and too much wine.

Ok. My thoughts. Im not married however I have been with the same girl for 18 continuous years. Listen to what the Counsellor has to say, listen. Dont be sceptical and listen to your partners issues. I’ve swallowed my pride on a fair few occasions when Ive been in the right- doesnt make me a hen-pecked fella either. On the plus-side, its good that she is initiating. She wants it to work. Imagine it was your idea and she wasnt buying it? I say listen to what she says, dont knee-jerk or be a bitten-chunt. Take stock of what the counsellor says, listen 🙂

In my experience if someone finds a counsellor that they feel is impartial, it’s often because they are challenging them on things that they find difficult. It’s a very rigourous training to become a fully qualified and accredited counsellor. They should not advise you, they should guide you to solutions that the couple agree for themselves.

I have been to marriage guidance, and it was very helpful in helping us talk without dredging up all the nonsense that sabotages constructive discussion about a relationship.